Keech said, “Is gold something that makes you rich?”
Grinning, Hester said, “I told you he was smart.”
This time, in the roofless temple, it was Billy who was about to be sacrificed. He was tied and gagged and lying on the altar, with Achum holding the stone knife over him and the worshipers eagerly watching below. Achum prayed, “Great Juju-Kuxtil, we’re sorry we were misled. Please accept this demon as a token of our esteem.” He poised with the knife.
Keech came running in, crying, “Wait! I have come from Juju-Kuxtil’s cloud! I have much to tell you!”
“After the services,” Achum told him. “First the sacrifice, then the collection, then you can talk.”
“No, I have to talk now,” Keech insisted. “That is the real Juju-Kuxtil.”
Achum shook his head and waggled the stone knife. “Stuff and nonsense. There was more yellow rain after he supposedly made it stop.”
“He was testing our faith,” Keech said.
A worshiper mused, “A god pretending to be a demon disguised as a god to test our faith. Hmm. That makes sense.”
Achum wasn’t convinced. “How can you know that, Keech?”
“They took me to their ship. I mean the cloud. Also your daughter Malya; they took her there, too.”
“Malya?” Achum looked around, called, “Malya!”
“She’s still in the cloud,” Keech said. “And Juju-Kuxtil is going to come out and talk to us.”
Achum lowered. “Oh, he is, is he?”
“He sent me to get everybody to come hear his speech.”
“Oh, we’ll come,” Achum said. “Gather rocks, everybody! This time we’ll pelt him good! And bring along the sacrifice; we’ll finish the services later.”
In a corridor of the Hopeful, by an exit hatch, the captain, Pam and Ensign Benson prepared Councilman Luthguster for his public. “Now, do remember to turn on your microphone,” the captain said, yet again. “Your words will be transmitted through the ship’s loud-speaker.”
“Yes, yes,” said the extremely nervous Luthguster.
Handing the councilman a sheaf of papers, Pam said, “Just remember, it’s an eight-month cycle, and this planet has a sixteen-month year, so the cycle runs twice a year.”
“Young lady,” Luthguster said, clutching the papers, “I have no idea what you think you’re saying.”
“Now, Councilman,” Ensign Benson said, “there’s nothing to worry about.”
“There’s nothing for you to worry about. You’ll be in the ship.”
“You’ll be behind this shield.” Ensign Benson rapped the clear-plastic shield with his knuckles. “Just give them one of the speeches you’re famous for, and they’ll calm right down. They’ll sleep for a week.”
“I do have some small reputation as a peacemaker,” Luthguster acknowledged, though he continued to blink a lot. “Very well. For the future of mankind on this planet.” And he stepped onto the small platform that would swing out onto the side of the ship once the hatch was opened.
“Knock ‘em dead,” Ensign Benson advised him and pushed the button.
A frozen smile of panic on his face, Luthguster permitted himself to be swung slowly out into plain sight high on the side of the gleaming, cigar-shaped Hopeful. And below, bearing armloads of rocks and carrying the trussed-up Billy on a long pole, came the natives. They did not look particularly reasonable.
“People of Heaven,” Luthguster said, but, of course, he had forgotten to turn on his microphone, so nobody heard him. Flicking the thing on, he tried again:
“People of Heaven.”
“There he is! There he is!”
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
A thousand stones hit the plastic shield. Luthguster ducked, then recovered, crying out, “Surely, some of you have sinned.”
“The stones bounce off him!” Keech shouted. “You see? It is Juju-Kuxtil!”
Achum, poised to throw another stone, hesitated, becoming uncertain. “Could I have been wrong?”
The other worshipers had already prostrated themselves, noses in the pebbles, and were wailing, “Juju-Kuxtil! Juju-Kuxtil!”
Privately to Achum, Keech said, “Would you rather be safe or sorry?”
“Juju-Kuxtil!” Achum decided and prostrated himself with the rest.
Quickly, Keech released Billy, while Luthguster delivered his speech:
“People of Heaven, I have tested you, and your faith is not strong. But I am merciful, and I will not return my golden rain to you for” — he consulted Pam’s papers — “two days. At ten-fifteen next Tuesday morning, watch out!”
“There you go, kid,” Keech said to the freed Billy. “Get to the ship before the councilman louses up.”
Billy scampered to the Hopeful while Luthguster rolled on:
“I will never be more than a stone’s throw from you all. Achum shall remain my representative here on Heaven, but I won’t need any more human sacrifices.”
“Drat,” the worshipers muttered. “No fun anymore.”
“Also, the man who is known among you as Keech will henceforth carry this list, which will tell you the times of all the golden rains that will ever be, from this day forward. You will be smart enough to get in out of the rain, but after every rain, there will be a time to gather stones together. The streets of Heaven are paved with good investments, and I will want them returned. Heaven knows what I’m talking about. Upon these rocks we shall build a mighty nation. Right on this spot here, I want these rocks of ages left for me. Keech will be in charge of all that. I will send ships from Earth to Heaven, and they will trade you machinery, medical supplies, technical advisors and everything else you need, in exchange for my rolling stones. Earth helps those who help themselves. Together, we shall make an Earth right here on Heaven. And remember, a vote for Juju-Kuxtil is a vote for peace, progress and sound financial practice.”
Keech led the worshipers in a resounding cheer as Luthguster was wheeled, waving and smiling, back into the ship, where, once the hatch was shut, Ensign Benson said, “Councilman, that may have been your finest hour.”
Luthguster was dazzled. “By Heaven, he said, “what a constituency!”
•
Near the foot of the ladder, Billy made a reluctant farewell to Malya. “Gee, I wish you could come along.”
“So do I,” Malya admitted. “Earth must be a wonderful place after Heaven.”
“Any place is Earth,” Billy told her, “With you there.”
They were deep in embrace when Ensign Benson appeared at the head of the ladder, calling, “Come on, Billy, or we’ll take off without you.”
“They can’t take off without me,” Billy confided to Malya. “I fly it.”
“But you must go. Goodbye, Billy.”
“Goodbye, Malya.”
Malya walked to a nearby rubble heap, where she and Keech watched the Hopeful prepare for take-off. “Gee, what a swell bunch,” Malya said.
“That Hester,” Keech said, “was the most sensible woman I ever met.”
“I wouldn’t call Billy exactly sensible,” Malya said, “but he was swell.”
“Lift-off,” Billy said. All six Earthpeople were present on the command deck.
“Captain,” Pam said, studying her console, “the ship is overweight.”
Diplomatically careful but with an edge of sarcasm, Ensign Benson said, “I believe the councilman smuggled gold aboard.”
“Smuggled?” Luthguster was all pompous bluster. “Merely a few souvenirs.”