Teach didn’t move. Jackie thought if he leaned forward and kissed her he’d feel the fear in her lips.
“But see, it’d be worse for Pilgrim’s girl. Back in Belfast, when the stupid men started talking, my da stopped cutting their faces and their privates. The knife’s work was done. But I don’t want her to talk. There’s nothing she can tell me to save herself.” He turned the knife and its glint caught the dim light above her bed. “I only want her to hurt.”
Jackie began a recitation that chilled Teach’s blood, painted horrors in her mind so that she flinched from his soft whisper. But still she shook her head.
So Jackie started to demonstrate.
Khaled’s Report-New Orleans
On Sunday, we start our work. If I have not ruined everything.
I am terrified because I fear I have jeopardized all my training, all my sacrifice. I was unprepared for random chance. Today I walked through the French Quarter on one of my exercises, trying to determine who is following me and how I can lose them in the crowds. I am sure that the crowds are smaller than normal, since Katrina, but the streets still throng here with happy Americans, hazed on their crimson hurricanes of liquor and fruit juice or their canned beers.
I entered my own haze today. Halfway through my exercise with my trainers, I saw someone I know, from home in Beirut. A girl, named Roula, a cousin of a good friend. I remember hearing that she was studying architecture at Rice University in Houston. One would hope she would be hard at her studies. But no, here she is, walking with a trio of blond American girls, looking very American herself in jeans and a sky blue polo shirt and a set of bangle bracelets. She is lovely, walking with these American beauties, tucking a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. I glance at her twice, once in shock and the second time to be sure it is her. I turn my head but she has sensed my stare and she turns.
She won’t recognize me, I hope, and I duck my head and turn away abruptly to study a display of junky T-shirts for tourists in a store window.
“Khaled?” I hear her voice call, rising in surprise at the end.
No.
I turn and start to walk away and then she says it again, loudly, so I stop. Glance back at her. She smiles at me in recognition.
“Khaled, hello, how are you?”
“Fine,” I say. “How are you, Roula, what are you doing here?” The words all feel woolly in my mouth.
“I’m visiting for the weekend with school friends.” She gestures back at the American beauties, who look at me and through me, a skinny Arab boy with the awkwardness of an engineering student and therefore of minimal interest to them.
“Ah,” I say. My watchers-I can see them now, they don’t even try to hide from me-are watching me talk to this girl. I wonder what that will mean for her. I have an urge to run.
“What are you doing here?”
I am supposed to be in Switzerland, studying finance. “Ah, well, my advisor at my school-I’m at the University of Geneva-is giving a speech at Tulane, and I came with him.” The explanation rings hollow to me, but I force a smile behind it and gesture at the window full of junky T-shirts. “You caught me in an unacademic moment.”
Roula laughs. “Well, how long are you in town?”
“I leave Sunday.”
“So do we.” And then, of course, in the manner of my people, she begins to inquire about my mother, my cousins-she knows my brothers and my father are dead and she says nothing of them.
I answer quickly, ask after her own family, then take refuge in consulting my watch. “Well, this was a lovely surprise, Roula, but I must get back to the campus. I didn’t give myself enough time to explore.” I tender an awkward grin.
She gives me a bright smile. “Well, it was nice to see you, Khaled.”
“Good to see you, too.” I turn and walk away and I don’t look back. My outing, my training run, is ruined. Two blocks further I risk a glance. There were two trackers following me, and now there is only the one. The other tracker is, of course, now shadowing Roula.
I am brought back to the house, questioned thoroughly. I explain she is a friend from home, studying architecture in America. That she is harmless.
“But you are not supposed to be here,” the masters say to me. “What if she mentions to her family, to her friends, that she saw you here?”
“I gave her a story consistent with my cover,” I said, and they laugh, not because it is funny. I keep hoping they will tell me this is a test, that Roula is part of the organization. But they give no such reassurance.
“What should I have done?” I say, miserable.
“You don’t talk to her. You walk away, you get away from her.”
“But she knew it was me. To run would increase her suspicion-”
“But she would never be sure it was you. You spoke with her. She knows too much.”
Coldness touches my heart. This is not how it is supposed to be. I have come here to learn how to do good work, how to kill those who must die, not innocents like Roula. “What will happen?” I finally say.
My masters exchange a glance. “Her family’s phones in Beirut will be tapped; their e-mail and physical mail will be monitored. We will listen and see if she mentions seeing you here. If she does not… fine. If she does… well. Then we shall see. This is on your head, though-let it be a lesson you never forget.” As though I was a prankster schoolboy, fresh from a whipping.
I am not sure I believe them. I am sick with fear they will have Roula killed tonight. I return, at their orders, to my room. I lie on my bed and study the ceiling. I feel they are watching me; this is a test, and I am failing.
The door opens. I sit up. One of the masters, the one called Mr. Night, enters and closes the door behind me.
“Are you going to kill her?” I ask in a rush.
“No,” he says. “You must think us rather impulsive. Or cruel.”
“I’m a realist about our work.”
Mr. Night nods at me. “But, if necessary, someone will speak to her. Impress upon her, forcefully, the need for silence. Your presence here must be kept secret.”
I swallow. Forcefully can cover many options. But if he says she will not be killed, I believe him. My life is in the hands of these people; I have to trust them. “I understand.”
“If she is unable to keep her silence…” He shrugs.
“She will,” I assure him. “She is a very sensible girl from a good family. Perhaps someone in her family could be recruited as well.”
“Perhaps.” He clears his throat. “I need to know if you’re truly ready for the job, Khaled.” (It is painful for me to record his words, but in fairness I must.)
“I am. I am. Please.” I have a sudden fear that I might now be expendable. But they need us… there are so few of us willing to do the work, to take the enormous risks. I had already risked so much in coming forward, in making it here.
He studies me for a long while, saying nothing, and I compose myself and don’t plead my case further. I have to be strong now.
“You are still one of us. Here is your assignment.”
I nearly collapse in relief, but I do not let emotion cross my face. I read the file they hand me, see what my first battle in the war will be.
I am more eager than ever to do my job. They release me from my room. I drive over to the shooting range and start putting bullets into the targets, each squeeze of the trigger a relief.
30
Dawn crept in through the heavy, yellowed curtains, as though reluctant to bring brightness to the darkened rooms. Ben awoke on the futon; he could feel the hump of the gun under his pillow and he pulled his hand back from it with a jolt. His arm ached. He’d slept far heavier than he’d thought possible.
Pilgrim was awake and brewing coffee, standing over the sink, staring into space.
“Hey,” Ben said.
No answer.