All clear.
Her shoulders dropped in relief, and she watched the rise and fall of his back for another minute before she left his bedroom.
Leah went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, using some toothpaste on her finger to brush her teeth as best she could.
When she was through, she walked back out to the living room and stood in the center of it.
She didn’t know what she should do.
She didn’t want to just leave without talking to him about everything, but she knew he needed sleep right now. She couldn’t hang around his apartment all day waiting for him to wake up, and even if she could, trying to have a serious conversation with someone who was hung over was just a bad idea, plain and simple.
But she did need to talk to him. She needed to make sense of everything once and for all, because as much as he’d told her last night, so much was still left unsaid. If anything, Leah felt more confused than she was before he confessed his feelings to her.
Go home. Call him tomorrow, after he’s had some time to recover.
With a plan in place, Leah felt a little better as she stepped into her shoes and scanned the apartment once more. She knew he would be hurting when he woke up, whenever that was, so she tried to anticipate anything he might need. She went to the fridge and got another bottle of water, quietly placing it on his nightstand as she grabbed the empty one.
As Leah tossed the bottle in the trash, her eye landed on his coffee maker, and she decided she would set up a pot of coffee for him before she left.
She opened a few cabinets, finding the coffee on the third try, and just as she brought it to the counter and popped off the lid, she gasped.
Realization washed over her, bringing a rush of nausea with it as the puzzle pieces clicked into place.
How could she not have seen it earlier?
“I had no right to ask you out.”
“I can’t see you. It’s not fair to you.”
“I lied to you.”
And then, something he had said to her a while back:
“I don’t have a girlfriend, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
Leah stood there unmoving, the lid of the coffee still in her hand.
It was so obvious.
How close had she come to being the other woman? There was some girl out there who was with Danny, who maybe even loved him, completely oblivious to their phone calls, their texting, their kisses.
Oh my God, I kissed him. I kissed another girl’s boyfriend.
Her heart started racing, and she felt as if she might be sick. This was all hitting far too close to home for her, and she knew she needed to get out of there.
Immediately.
With trembling hands Leah snapped the lid back on the coffee and turned, gasping loudly as the can slipped from her fingers and crashed at her feet. The top popped off, spraying coffee grounds across the floor.
Danny stood in the doorway, his arms stretched above his head as he gripped the frame. The way his arms were lifted caused his T-shirt to ride up, revealing the faint trail of hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of the flannel pajama bottoms he had put on. His hair was a rumpled mess, and his eyes were squinted against the light.
He looked at her, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smile as he brought one of his hands down and touched his finger to his nose.
“Not it for cleaning that up,” he said, his voice husky with sleep.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Confusion instantly marred the playful look on his face, and he took his finger off his nose and slid his hand up into his hair. She didn’t plan on blurting it out that way, but she couldn’t stand this any longer.
“No,” he said. “I already told you I didn’t.”
“You also told me you lied to me.”
Danny’s eyes fell closed as he shook his head gently, and then he dropped his head back, covering his face with both hands. “Fuck,” he said, his voice muffled behind them. He slid them down his face before he met her eyes again. “What did I tell you last night?”
“Do. You. Have. A. Girlfriend?” she asked, her voice livid. “Yes or no?”
“No. I swear to you, Leah. No, I don’t.”
She stared at him and he stared right back, never breaking eye contact. He seemed completely sincere, which ironically only made things worse, because now she was more confused than ever.
“What did you lie to me about, then?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
She laughed bitterly, shaking her head. “I can’t do this. I can’t play these games.” She walked toward him and twisted her body, squeezing between him and the doorframe before she stormed into the living room and grabbed her purse. She turned and came to an abrupt halt, nearly walking right into his chest. Danny reached out and steadied her, gently grasping the tops of her arms.
“Leah, please,” he said, and she shook her head, refusing to make eye contact.
“I can’t take lying, Danny. It’s the one thing I can’t take.” She went to step around him, and his grip on her arms tightened.
“Please. Can you just let me explain?”
Leah closed her eyes, exhaling softly. Part of her just wanted to distance herself from the whole situation as soon as possible, but the other part of her desperately wanted to hear what he had to say. If she left now, she knew a piece of her would always wonder if she’d made the right decision, and in a way, she was almost more afraid of that than of being vulnerable with him.
She opened her eyes, keeping them trained on the floor, but she nodded slightly, and Danny exhaled as she felt his grip on her arms loosen.
She turned her back on him, walking over to the couch and taking a seat, and he sat on the coffee table in front of her, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He dropped his head and took a deep breath before he lifted his eyes back to hers.
“First of all, thank you for taking care of me last night. I’m sorry you had to deal with me like that.”
“Don’t apologize for that. I didn’t mind taking care of you. That’s not why I’m upset.”
He nodded gently as he wet his lips. “I just…I want to make this better, but I don’t even know what I said to you last night.”
She sat up a bit straighter, running both hands through her hair. This was it. She was going to put it all on the line, and hope he would do the same in return.
“Look,” she said. “I don’t want to play games with you. You’re always so back and forth, and I don’t like that I never know what to expect from you.”
He pulled his brow together before dropping his eyes to the floor, and Leah chewed on the corner of her lip, summoning the courage to say the rest.
“I mean, can we just be real with each other? I like you. I really do. And if you don’t or you can’t feel the same way, for whatever reason, then just tell me.”
He lifted his eyes back to hers, a defeated expression on his face. “I do like you, Leah. A lot. That’s the problem.”
“Why is that a problem?”
Danny looked down again, shaking his head slightly. She waited for him to speak for nearly a minute before she broke the silence, trying her luck with a different question.
“What did you lie to me about?”
He sat up, gripping the edge of the coffee table. “I never lied to you. Everything I’ve told you about myself is true. It’s just…there are things I haven’t told you.”
“Lies of omission, then.”
Danny looked up to the ceiling, inhaling deeply. “It’s not lying. It’s just…not sharing everything.” His eyes met hers as he said, “You’ve done it too.”
“What are you talking about? What haven’t I told you?”
Danny shrugged. “Lots of things, I’m sure. What happened to your mom, for instance.”
Leah pursed her lips as his point hit home. There were things he didn’t know about her either. Things she chose not to share. How could she condemn him for something she herself had done?