She nodded gently, and he said, “By the time the bar was closing, we were both pretty fucked up, and I went to the bathroom—” He stopped suddenly, his jaw flexing in rapid succession as he rode out the sharp pain in his chest.
Danny cleared his throat. “I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, it was just chaos. And I knew. I just fucking knew. Some people were moving toward it, and some were trying to move away, but after a few steps, I could see them over the tops of people’s heads—the same guys from earlier. I don’t know how they got back in. They must’ve known a bouncer or something, because it didn’t make any sense why no one was trying to break it up this time.” Danny shook his head. “And if I hadn’t gone to the bathroom, or if we hadn’t been so fucking drunk…” His jaw tightened again as he felt rage and regret start to trickle through his veins, and it was a moment before he could speak again.
He glanced up at Leah; she was staring at him with equal parts sympathy and dread, like she knew where this story was going. And even though he knew that she didn’t, he grabbed on to the small thread of compassion she’d thrown him and pulled himself through the rest of the story.
“He couldn’t hold his own,” he said hoarsely. “Bryan was wasted, and there were three of them. And I had to get through that goddamn crowd.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I could see everything, but I couldn’t get there fast enough. Bryan got hit and went down, and one of the guys kicked him hard in the side of the head. Right in his temple.”
He saw Leah press her fist to her mouth as she shook her head slightly.
“And I lost it,” he said. “I charged the guy, and we went over a table and through the front window of the bar.” He looked down and flexed his hand, watching his scars expand and contract with the movement. “I don’t remember a lot after that. I remember hitting the ground outside. And the broken glass. And the blood all over my hands. I had no idea where it was coming from.”
He looked up at her; her fist was still pressed against her lips, but her eyes were welled with tears. “And the next thing I knew, I was being thrown over the hood of a cop car and cuffed. They were reading me my rights, telling me to remain silent, and I just kept shouting at them to go help Bryan.”
Danny pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes again as they began to sting, and he took a slow breath before continuing. “They took me to a station and put me in a cell, and no one would tell me what happened. No one would tell me.” He shook his head slowly. “A few hours later, they came in and said I had made bail. I walked out to the vestibule, and Gram was there.”
He dropped his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. “And she just crumpled in my arms and started wailing. And then I knew.”
Danny heard her move beside him, and before he could open his eyes, she was crawling onto his lap, wrapping her arms around him as she buried her face into his neck.
He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her against his body. Even though he knew the worst was yet to come, she felt so good in his arms that he couldn’t stop himself. He needed this right now. He needed her.
He heard a tiny muffled sob, and Danny closed his eyes as he pressed his lips against her shoulder. He wished the story ended there. He wished he deserved the sympathy she was showing him right now. Danny tightened his arms and held her closer, wanting to soak up every last second of what he was surely about to lose.
“I don’t understand,” she mumbled into the crook of his neck. “So now this guy is pressing charges against you? How can he do that? Why isn’t he in trouble for what he did to Bryan?”
Leah, please don’t hate me.
“He’s not the one pressing charges,” he whispered against her shoulder.
She sat up and looked at him, her brow pulled together and her face streaked with tears. She looked so troubled and so saddened and so beautiful that he would have rather torn his arm off than say his next words.
He reached up and brushed at the tear stains on her face. “When we went through the window, an artery in his neck was severed. They took him to the hospital that night, but they couldn’t stop the bleeding in time.”
Her brow smoothed out, but she shook her head. “What…what do you mean?”
Danny looked up at her, wiping the other cheek with the pad of this thumb.
“Did he…?” She trailed off, and Danny nodded.
Something like panic overtook her expression as she said, “So you’re…?”
“I’m being charged with manslaughter.”
Leah stared down at him, and he watched the rapid rise and fall of her chest as her breathing grew ragged, that same panicked look on her face.
He looked at her dark hair falling over her shoulders, those beautiful, expressive eyes, her delicate nose, the lips that could steal his breath and make him feel alive at the same time. He wanted to memorize everything about her while he still could.
And then, without warning, she threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around him so tightly, he could feel her muscles trembling with the effort.
His heart stopped in his chest before it picked up double time.
Every time he had envisioned this moment, it always ended with some variation of her leaving, some version of her being horrified, afraid, disgusted.
But never once had he imagined this.
“Leah.” He sighed as he cradled her in his arms, and another sob broke from her lips, stifled by the front of his shirt.
“But you didn’t mean to do it,” she said through her tears. “It was an accident. Just tell them it was an accident.”
Danny closed his eyes as he rubbed his hand up and down her back. She was defending him. And in a way, it was almost more painful than it would have been if she told him to go to hell.
“It doesn’t work that way, sweet girl,” he whispered.
She nodded against his chest before she sniffled. “So there’s no way? There’s no way this will be okay?”
Danny slid his hand up under her hair, massaging her neck gently. “The best I can hope for is that the judge will take into consideration what happened with Bryan, that I have no priors…and maybe he’ll be understanding of the situation.”
“The judge? What about the jury?”
“It’s not going to trial,” he said. “I’m copping a plea. It’s better that way.”
“How?” she asked, wiping her nose with her sleeve as she sat up to look at him.
“It should lessen the sentence,” he said softly.
It was quiet for several seconds before she whispered, “How long?”
He ran his fingers through the back of her hair. “A couple of years, probably.”
She closed her eyes as her chin trembled violently, and he used his hand behind her neck to pull her back down to him.
“I’m so sorry, Leah,” he whispered as she buried her face in his shirt.
“Don’t apologize,” she said, her voice breaking before she sniffled and hiccupped against his chest, and he held her, running his hands over her back, her arms, her hair, anywhere he could reach.
After several minutes she spoke again, her voice softly breaking the silence. “How much more time do you have?”
“I don’t know. A lot of stuff got held up in the beginning because of everything with Bryan and his involvement in all this. It’s all paper pushing at this point. The court date for my sentencing hasn’t been set, but my lawyer says it will be sometime this year.”
She nodded against him.
“And I’ll understand, Leah. I swear to you, I’ll understand.”
“Understand what?” she whispered.
“If this changes how you feel about me.”
She sat up, looking down at him, and he stared back up at her. “I’ll understand,” he promised.
And he would. He wouldn’t hate her for walking away. He wouldn’t even hate her if she thought he was a monster, because the truth was, he’d never felt like more of a monster than he did in this moment, watching her hurt for him.
She stared at him until her eyes welled with tears again.