“I know,” she said softly. “I know you hate to come back. I know you hate to be away from here. I know that-”
“It’s not so much that I hate to go back, Mia. It’s because I’ve made a life for myself here.” He slid the saddle from the horse’s back and went past her through the open barn door.
Mia grabbed the horse’s reins and followed behind him, leading the mare.
“I know you feel guilty about Melissa. I know you feel that it’s your fault that she died,” Mia told him.
He swung the saddle onto a rail and took the horse from her and led it to a stall.
“We all know you stay here because-” She trailed behind him.
“Stop right there.” One hand on the stall door, he looked over his shoulder at her. “You only think you know.”
“Okay, then, explain it to me.”
“I put the blame for Missy’s death squarely where it belongs: on Brendan. I don’t feel guilty about her dying because I refuse to take on his guilt for him.”
“Well, if it’s not guilt that keeps you here,” she asked bluntly, “why do you stay here by yourself?”
“Like I said, I’ve made a life for myself here.”
“You have a life back with us. You could come back home.”
“Come back to do what?”
“The boss asks about you all the time. He’d love to have you back at the Bureau.”
Grady nodded. He’d heard from John Mancini numerous times. “I know. He’s been in touch.”
“What do you tell him?”
“I tell him that I’m probably done with the FBI. It just doesn’t mean what it used to mean, Mia. At least, not to me.” He turned back to the horse and guided her into her stall.
This was something else he couldn’t explain. The Bureau had been his life before Melissa’s murder, but her death was so closely connected to that job and the people there that he couldn’t just go back as if nothing had happened.
He walked past Mia to a deep sink inside the door. He grabbed a bucket from under the sink and proceeded to fill it from the tap. When the bucket was filled, he returned to the stall and poured the water into the trough.
“What do you do here that you couldn’t do back home?” Mia had followed as far as the stall door. Without waiting for his answer, she went on: “How do you spend your time if you don’t work? You just sit around and watch TV at night?” She paused. “You do get television up here, right?”
“Cute. Since you ask, at night, I read. I watch movies. And yes, sometimes at night I do watch TV.” Amused by her assumptions, he tried to keep from smiling. “I do the same thing I’d do if I were anyplace else.”
“Except that here, you do it alone.”
“Solitude’s not all that bad.”
“Have you made any friends?”
“I’ve gotten to know some of the neighbors, sure. And a couple of people in town. I see folks. It’s not like I lock myself in the house all day, Mia.”
“Don’t you get lonely?” she persisted.
“Not so much. Like I said, I have things to do.” He removed the horse’s bridle and looped it over his shoulder.
He’d finished tending to the mare, so he came out of the stall and closed the half door. He walked out of the barn and toward the house, his sister quickening her steps to keep up. He went directly to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. When he finished, he reached for a towel.
He finished drying his hands, then draped the towel over the dish drainer on the counter. “When is your wedding?”
“It’s in five weeks.”
“I’ll be there.”
She hugged him from behind. “Thank you, Gray. Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much this means to me, to have you and Andy there with me.”
“I couldn’t not be there for you, kiddo.” He smiled. He never would have let her down. “I’ll check the airlines, see when the flights are, and I’ll-”
“Oh, I already did all that.” Suddenly all business, Mia sat her bag on the kitchen table and opened it. “Here’s the itinerary and the schedule for the week.”
“The week?” He stared at her as if he hadn’t heard correctly. “It’s going to take a whole week for you to get married?”
“Well, sure. You’re going to need to be fitted for your tux.” Her eyes twinkled. “Oh, sure, the tux might be at odds with your new rugged Wild West look, but hey, it’s my wedding. Maybe you could even shave.”
He laughed and fingered the week’s growth on his face. “Maybe I could.”
“Andy said you’re the same size, so he’ll order your tux for you, but you’re still going to have to go into Annapolis-that’s where the men’s store is-and make sure the sleeves are right, that sort of thing. The guy in the store said you needed to do that by Monday at the latest in case they need to make any alterations. There’s a rehearsal and then a rehearsal dinner on Thursday evening instead of Friday because the minister already committed to something else on Friday night. Oh, and the bachelor party is actually going to be on Tuesday night, because Beck has to work most of that week and the weekend before, so…”
Grady glanced down at the schedule. There was something filled in for every day of the week before the wedding.
“What’s this on Friday night?” He pointed to the date.
“Oh, Andy said the two of you should do something, so you’re having a dinner for the wedding party and the immediate family.”
“Well, that’s nice of us.”
Mia laughed. “I guess if you wanted to bail on Andy, it would serve him right for not asking you first.”
“Nah, I’m happy to do it. I’m guessing Andy has made the arrangements, though?”
She nodded. “It’s going to be at Lola’s. That’s a really nice restaurant in St. Dennis.”
“I guess it’s too late to try to talk you into eloping.”
“No way, pal. I’ve waited forever for the right guy, and I’m going to have one hell of a gorgeous wedding to celebrate.”
“You sure, honey?” Grady asked. “You sure he’s the right guy?”
“There’s no doubt in my mind.” Mia looked up at him and even he could not miss the stars in her eyes. “He’s just… just the best guy I ever met. Andy agrees. I hope you think so, too, after you get to know him a little better.”
“If Andy approves, I’m sure I will, too.” He folded the paper she’d given him with the schedule and the flight information and placed it on the kitchen table. “I’ll be there for whatever whoop-de-do you have planned for the week. Just don’t expect me to hang around after the wedding.”
“Why not?” Mia took a seat on one of the two oak kitchen chairs and draped her bag over the back. “Why not visit with Andy and Dorsey for a few days? I know they’d love to have you.”
When he didn’t answer, she didn’t press, and he was grateful. Some things just were too hard to explain, like how you weren’t sure where you belonged, because your old life just didn’t fit anymore. Besides, there were those things to do.
“It’s up to you, of course. I’m just so happy that you’re going to walk me down the aisle. Everyone will be happy to see you, Gray. We’ve all missed you.”
“I’ll be happy to see everyone, too.” He glanced at the clock that hung over the door leading in to the dining room. “Almost dinnertime. We can go out for dinner, or I can cook.”
Her eyebrows raised almost to her hairline. “I’m sorry, would you repeat that last part? It sounded like you said you could cook.”
“That’s what I did say.”
Mia’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”
He laughed good-naturedly. “When you live alone, you learn how to cook, or you eat out every night. You might have noticed, if you drove through West Priest, that there is only one restaurant there.”
“Right. Sullivan’s. I saw it.”
“Did you stop in?”
She shook her head.
“Everything is hit-or-miss there. One day the soup might be great, but the sandwiches, not so much. Next day, might be the reverse. The guy who runs it has a problem with consistency in his kitchen. Their spotty menu aside, there’s the fact that when winter hits, it hits hard and fast. There are times when you can’t get into town for weeks. You have to keep supplies on hand and you need to know what to do with them.”