She narrowed her eyes at me.
“Not that much,” I added, facing in front of me.
“Those boys are growing up, Alex. They’re going to start dating. I mean Lucas will be fourteen soon.”
“Yeah so what? I’ll be twelve soon, too.”
“Right. But it’s different for boys than it is for girls.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that their interests may change.”
“That’s stupid,” I scoffed, disappointed.
“Yeah but your interests will change soon, too.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“You’ll see.”
“Mom, we’ve been best friends since the day I was born. I’ve done everything with them. Are you saying that it won’t be like that anymore?”
She contemplated what I said. “Not exactly. I have no doubt y’all will always be close. You don’t have any siblings, Alex, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I’ve never felt guilty about not giving you someone to play with. We didn’t have to. You had them boys. All I’m sayin’ is that things may start to change on how much time y’all will have for each other.”
“Because of girls?”
“Yes, honey, and boys.”
I grimaced. “I don’t like boys.”
She laughed. “You love them boys,” she clarified.
“Yes but they’re different. I’m talkin’ about the boys at my school. I don’t like any of them.”
“Right. Do you like any of your boys? Lucas, maybe?”
I leaned into the headrest. “No.”
“No?”
“I don’t know. Lucas and I have always had a different relationship than I’ve had with the rest of them.”
I caught her nodding from the corner of my eye. “I know.”
“I don’t want to lose any of them though, especially Lucas.”
“You won’t ever lose them. That much I do know. But with that being said, Alex, you need to expand your horizons. I don’t want you to regret missing out on anything because you didn’t know any better. Familiarity can be confused with something that it isn’t. Do you understand?”
“Kind of.”
She sighed. “You’re young and Lucas is young. You’ve grown up together. It’s normal to feel possessive of him, over all of them.”
“I don’t want things to change.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie, but they will. That’s just life, but it doesn’t matter because as I said before I know that you will always have them in your life. That I can promise you.”
I nodded, shutting my eyes and silently praying she was right.
Especially…
When it came to Lucas.
“Hey, you listening?” Stacey asked.
“Mmm hmm,” I lied. I couldn’t stop thinking about Alex.
Why couldn’t I stop thinking about Alex?
“I had a really good time tonight. You think we could do it again?”
“Sure,” I simply stated.
We were sitting on the beach, watching the waves hit the shore.
She smiled, leaning into me. “Good. I really like you, Lucas.”
I nodded because I didn’t know what else to say. She slightly turned, nuzzling my neck with her nose. I felt my dick stir and before I knew it, I turned my mouth to meet hers and we were kissing. It wasn’t the same kiss I had with Alex. It was completely different. I didn’t really know what to do, but I had seen enough movies to know the logistics of moving my lips with hers. My mind couldn’t catch up with the movements of our mouths and the way my dick throbbed with how she felt up against me.
The crazy thing about it was that I didn’t like her, I had no feelings for her whatsoever, but I couldn’t stop kissing her. My body betraying me, and the more we kissed, the more I wanted.
It was uncontrollable.
The urge.
I loved it and I hated it.
My tongue slid into her mouth, she tasted of mint ice cream. I detested that ice cream. She glided her tongue into my eager mouth and moaned, making my dick twitch from the sound. I desperately wanted relief as she clutched me closer, leaning back onto the sand, pressing my body on top of hers. My insistent hands started exploring and she began rubbing her body underneath mine, making me shudder from the sway of hers. Our bodies took over and it felt incredible, there were no words for the sensations she awakened. For the first time, I understood what Dylan and Jacob were talking about. How easily it was to get lost in someone with the desire and want my body so hastily craved.
Thank God we were at a secluded part of the beach.
“Damn, boy, get up in there all good like and shit.”
My body jolted off of hers, standing. “What the hell, Jacob?” I spun ready to give him hell when I came face to face with Jacob, Dylan, Austin, and Alex.
Her head lowered and her shoulders slumped, and I swear my heart stopped beating, swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat.
“Relax,” Dylan interjected, bringing my pissed off glare back to him. “We’re just passing through, heading up to Half-Pints restaurant for dinner. By all means, keep goin’.” He reached for Alex’s hand, and she easily took it, her eyes remaining on the sand, not looking at anyone, especially me. He nodded toward Stacey who was still sitting, unfazed by getting caught.
“Bye, darlin’.” They walked off.
“Where were we?” Stacey purred from the sand.
My stare was frozen on Alex. My mind screamed to run after her.
To do something…
Anything.
It took everything inside me not to run to her, to explain. I convinced myself that I was overreacting. I didn’t owe her an explanation.
Then why did I feel like I did?
She still hadn’t looked up, trailing close behind Dylan, her small hand in his. She appeared tinier among the boys, sticking out like a sore thumb.
Our Half-Pint.
My brown eyed girl. Sad.
My gaze shifted to Stacey not being able to look at Alex any longer. It hurt too much. “Come on.” I extended my hand out in front of her. “I’ll walk you home.” I couldn’t get her home fast enough.
“Okay.” She smiled, not picking up on my sudden change of mood or composure in the least. I left her on her doorstep and I could tell she wanted me to kiss her again, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
By the time I made it to the restaurant it was near eight. The boys were playing pool in the back with no sign of Alex.
“Hey,” Austin greeted.
“Where’s Half-Pint?” I immediately asked him, trying to keep my emotions in check.
“She said she wasn’t feeling good and went home.”
“Oh. How long ago?”
“Not too long after we got here. Her mom took her home, her dad’s still around here somewhere.”
I nodded. “Who’s winning?” I tried to seem nonchalant. The boys didn’t need to know the turmoil I felt.
“The champion,” Jacob announced, looking smug as shit. “We’re almost done, play me next.”
I shook my head. “Nah, I gotta head home.”
“How was Stacey? From the looks of it, you two seemed cozy,” Dylan chimed in, grinning like a fool.
“I’ll see you guys later.” I ignored him and left.
I pedaled my bike as fast as I could to Alex’s house, knocking on her door.
Her mom answered. “Hey, sweetie.”
“Hey, is Half-Pint around?”
She frowned. “Oh I’m sorry, Lucas, she isn’t feeling well. She went to bed as soon as we got home a little bit ago. I’ll let her know you stopped by. Your mama is inside though with Lily. Do you want to come in?”
I shook my head no. “Can you let her know as soon as she wakes up? I really need to talk to her. It’s important. Can you tell her to call me?”
“Will do.” She stepped back and closed the door.
I took a shower and went straight to bed, trying to block out the look on Alex’s face and failing miserably in doing so.