“You know this guy Cole?” Dad asked Lucas.
I stepped away, avoiding any further conversation by escaping to my room. It didn’t take long for me to hear the light tapping on my door before he walked in. I kept my attention to my closet, pretending I was still deciding what to wear. Lucas’s arm grazed mine as he pulled out a cream dress.
“I love this color on you. I’m sure Cole will, too,” he alleged in a tone I couldn’t place.
I didn’t know if he meant it in a condescending way, and when I raised my eyes to him, he lowered his gaze. I fought hard with myself, trying not to be the one to break the focus. Instant anger overpowered his demeanor as he looked back up at me and I held his stare. I wasn’t about to back down. Not this time. Something in the way his eyes glared at me with his heated composure radiating all around me caused me to feel something. Something familiar, yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. The feeling was new. A fulfillment I couldn’t explain or even understand for that matter. I felt pleased. Gratified by the fact that his fire was being fueled by me.
I didn’t understand the strange vibes searing between us, it boiled to the point of discomfort. The feelings I had, what he provoked and stirred within me, what he always did to me. No one could ever explain or understand what it was. How it happened. No one else could do this.
It was only Lucas.
Always Lucas.
Not one other soul had this pull.
On me.
On him.
On us.
My glare slowly moved away from his and toward my closet. With all the attitude I could give. And I didn’t even know why. Why did I feel like this was a turning point?
“He’s just a boy, Lucas,” I assured him as he had for me time and time again.
I wasn’t trying to be mean or maybe I was, but the recognition of my words on his face answered my doubt. His eyes flickered with rage and a familiarity. It made me feel satisfied for some reason, I never wanted to hurt him. At least I didn’t think I did. Though at that moment it felt nice for him to be on the other side of the fence looking in, and maybe for the first time he would feel what it was like in my shoes.
“I thought it wasn’t a date?” he snapped not missing a beat with frustration spreading across his face.
There was no room for me to walk past him and he wasn’t moving his stance either.
“Excuse me, Bo, I have to go change. I think you’re right about the dress,” I crudely replied, wanting to get more of a rise out of him.
How did we always go from one to ten in nanoseconds?
He narrowed his eyes at me. I saw irritation and annoyance quickly replacing the anger and confusion. Neither one of us spoke for what felt like several minutes but was probably just seconds. When the doorbell rang I tried to step aside but he blocked me in with his daunting, bulky stance, his folded arms over his chest only accenting his large frame over mine.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear me say the words. Again. And for the first time I didn’t want to give him the reassurance.
“You heard me the first time and the second,” I simply stated.
He cocked his head to the side. “This the way you want to play it, Alexandra?”
I didn’t know what the hell he vowed, but I couldn’t falter. “I have to go. I’ll see you later, Lucas.” I pushed him aside with my shoulder and walked into my bathroom to put on the dress he so scornfully told me to wear.
I placed the twenty-dollar bill on her bed, except this one didn’t have Cole’s phone number on it. I threw that one in the fucking garbage, not that it mattered she was still going on a “date” with the douchebag. I knew what he tried to pull, I didn’t trust him as far as I could fucking throw him. I decided to walk through the kitchen and go out the back door to the pool. I could leave by the side gate. My truck was parked in front of the house, but at least this way I wouldn’t have to look at his fucking pretty boy face.
I stood outside in the backyard, the place that held so much of my childhood memories, and I tried desperately to ignore the bitter feeling that formed in my stomach. I heard the door open and then close and for a split second I thought it was Alex, choosing me over him.
It wasn’t.
“Are you okay?” Alex’s mom questioned, standing beside me, her arms folded over her chest like mine. Except hers were in comfort, mine were in aggravation over the fact that I caused this. It was my fault. I was more pissed off at myself than anything else, but it was easier to blame Alex.
I shrugged not knowing what to say.
She softly smiled over at me and it reminded me of Alex, except it didn’t provide the security I needed, that’s only something she could do.
“I’ve seen Cole around the restaurant a few times. He seems like a nice boy,” she sincerely expressed.
I knew what she tried to do, she wanted to ease my worry that Alex was being taken care of, but all it did was add to my insecurity that maybe she was right. And I didn’t want to like Cole, not now. Not ever.
“Appearances can be deceiving.”
She took in my words for a moment. “You know we all grew up together and then we all had kids together. When I was your age, I thought I was in love with your dad.”
“What?” I replied, stunned. My parents had never revealed that to me.
She smiled, relieved. “Don’t look so surprised, Lucas. You’ve seen your dad. Your mom and I were best friends. She knows. But in the end the best woman won. I realized that it was just a childhood crush, I ended up with the man I was supposed to be with.”
I shook my head, baffled and speechless of what she shared. I wasn’t expecting that. “What are you trying to say?”
“That everything happens for a reason. You’ll realize that when you’re older.”
“Why doesn’t anyone want Alex and I to be together?” I finally asked. It was the first time I acknowledged that I actually felt something stronger than just friendship with Alex and her mom didn’t even seem phased. It was like she already knew and was more shocked at the fact that I finally admitted it out loud.
“You’re young and she’s even younger. I think that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. In the meantime have fun, summer is almost over.”
I nodded. “Yeah.” I wanted to say more, but it wouldn’t change anything, it wouldn’t prove anything that she didn’t already know.
For years to come, I would think that our mothers were one of the biggest obstacles to us not being together, and I would learn way too late that it was the exact opposite.
She smiled again. “I’ll see you later, honey.” She kissed my head and left me with nothing but the empty feeling that I would also carry with me for years to come.
I did the only thing that made me forget…
I went and picked up Stacey.
“Your dad is intense,” Cole exclaimed as he drove the golf cart toward the lighthouse.
“Sorry about that,” I replied, thoroughly embarrassed. Lucas’s truck was still parked in front of my house when we left, but he was nowhere to be seen when I walked back downstairs.
“What are you thinking about over there?”
“Nothin’.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You know when you lie your voice changes. It does this low pitch thing.”
I already knew that. Lucas reminded me often. “Are you always this perceptive?” I teased, bringing the attention back to him.
“It’s a curse.”
“Oh yeah? Why is that?”
“By the way, I know what you’re doing. Just in case you don’t realize that I’m aware of you trying to change the subject.” He flashed me one of his full-on dimple smiles I had become familiar with. “My parents are both lawyers.”
“Ah,” I replied, ignoring the first part of what he said.