She spun to face me. “Jesus, I don’t even get a fucking hello.”
I folded my arms over my chest and leaned against the door. “Fucking is more your speed. Is that why you’re here?”
She scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself, Lucas. I’ve been driving all day.” She reached into her purse and took out what appeared to be a stick. “This is why I’m here.”
I raised my eyebrows, shaking my head not understanding and she threw the stick at my feet. I looked down at the ground and my heart dropped when I realized what it was. There clear as day it read.
Pregnant.
“How do I know it’s mine?” I immediately argued, never taking my eyes off the small fucking stick that drastically changed my future in the blink of an eye.
“You’re the only person I haven’t used a condom with. Or do you not remember that you didn’t bother to put one on?”
“Fuck,” I breathed out.
“Exactly.”
I sat down on the edge of the bed with my elbows resting on my knees, holding my head in my hands. I suddenly had an earsplitting headache. “What are you going to do?”
“Are you asking or telling?”
“Asking.”
“I don’t know.”
As much as I didn’t want this to be happening, it was a mistake, an accident. It didn’t change the fact that she was pregnant, possibly with my child. I couldn’t ignore that. I would man up if I had to.
“I don’t believe in abortion, Stacey, and I couldn’t live knowing that my child is out there with another family when I’m perfectly able to raise it,” I stated, instantly shutting my eyes from the severity of my words. “That’s if it’s mine.”
“It’s yours.”
“Then a paternity test will prove that.”
We were quiet for God knows how long. It could have been seconds or hours, who the fuck knows.
“Did you do it on purpose?” I had to know. “Did you do this to trap me?”
“You’re the one who walked into my bar, Lucas. You’re the one who forgot to use a condom.”
“I could barely fucking walk to a cab, Stacey! I barely remember any of it.” My head throbbed and my pulse quickened.
“You know, we could do this together. We could be parents to this—”
“Don’t you dare fucking say it. Don’t you dare fucking even think it. We have never been more than what you know we are, Stacey, don’t pretend there’s more here than there truly is.”
“That’s an amazing story to tell our child one day. You think we should put it in their baby book?”
“If.” I stood up and glared at her. “If. It’s mine. I will do my part in this fucked up situation. I will be a father to my child whether I like it’s mother or not.”
“You like me enough to fuck me. You always have. That has to mean something.”
I wanted to tell her it’s because she’s a slut, she’s a whore, she spreads her legs to any guy who will look her way, it’s what she’s good at and she knows it. But I held my tongue, I resisted the urge to treat her like the conniving bitch she was. I knew there was an ulterior motive. She wasn’t nearly as fucked up as I was. She barely drank. She did this intentionally and I was the stupid fuck who fell into her trap, but if the baby was mine… then she was the mother of my child, and I couldn’t bring myself to say what I really wanted to.
It wouldn’t be right.
“How far along are you?”
“My doctor said almost seven weeks. The baby is due April 9th.”
It seemed so close but yet so far away. September just began.
“When is the next doctor’s appointment?”
“In a month.”
I nodded. “I’ll be there.”
She smiled.
“I want a paternity test done as soon as possible. Do you understand me?”
She grimaced, softly saying. “I’ll call the office tomorrow.”
I nodded again.
She tried to open my bedroom door to leave and I shut it. “You’re not going anywhere. It’s late. You’re pregnant. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
I grabbed my pillow and a blanket from the closet, immediately noticing it was the one that Alex picked out for her to use.
Fuck… Alex.
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, it felt like the floor caved beneath me. Sucking me in whole and with no remorse.
“You know the bed is big enough for the both of us,” she purred, caressing the side of my face and pulling me away from my regrets.
I grabbed her hand. “Not a fucking chance. Get some sleep, Stacey, you have a long drive home tomorrow.” And with that I left.
I drove to the nearest bar just to try to get a handle on my emotions and thoughts. The second I saw that positive pregnancy stick I wanted it to be Alex. Images of her showing me she was pregnant with our child flashed through my mind. It was instant and unforgiving. I hated that she wasn’t going to be the mother of my child. I hated that I had made a baby with someone else, someone that wasn’t her, someone that I didn’t love and could barely stand.
I’m a fucking asshole.
I couldn’t have hated myself more had I tried. There was no coming back from this, only going forward.
I was going to be a dad.
I was going to have a baby.
I didn’t sleep an ounce that night. Not one fucking minute. I stared at the ceiling, making images from the texture. I saw bunnies everywhere.
I knew the worst was yet to come.
Alex wouldn’t forgive me for this. Not a chance in hell. It was only a matter of time before she found out and walked out of my life.
For good.
My phone rang and Lily’s face lit up the screen.
“Hello, it’s you,” I laughed, waiting for her standard reply of, “Hello, it’s me.”
“Alex, oh my God! I’m so sorry, how are you? Are you okay? My brother is so fucking stupid. You know he doesn’t love her. You know it’s a mistake. She’s evil and I bet she did it on purpose. I bet she’s planned this for years. Ugh! I hate her. I hate her so much.”
“Whoa, Lily, calm down. What are you talking about?”
“The baby. I can’t believe I’m going to be an aunt to that cunt’s child. It should be you, Alex, it should be you!”
I shook my head, utterly confused. “What baby? What are you talking about?”
Silence.
“Lily?”
Silence.
I looked at my phone and she was still on the line. “Are you there?”
Silence.
“Lily, can you hear me? I can’t hear you. Are you there?”
“You don’t know?” she whispered so low I could barely hear her.
“I don’t know what? What’s going on?”
“Oh no…”
“You’re scaring me. Is everything okay?”
“I’m so sorry, Alex, I thought he would have told you. I can’t believe he hasn’t told you. I just found out today, but he told my parents weeks ago. They were trying to figure out a way to tell me. I figured you’d know. I called you first. I haven’t even called him to yell at him yet. But trust me, I’m going to fucking yell at him. More so now,” she rambled.
I sat down on the edge of my bed, barely registering what she said. “Lily…” I lamented.
“Oh, Alex.”
“What are you saying?” I murmured, my eyes already filling with tears.
“It was an accident. He didn’t mean to do it. He loves you. You know that. You guys are meant to be together. You’re lobsters! You’re his lobster. Please! Don’t lose faith in that. This doesn’t change anything.”
There was an eerie calm around me that produced a false illusion that everything would be okay.
“Say it. I need to hear you say it.”
“Stacey…”
My hand went to my chest as if trying to hold the remains of my shattered heart together.
“Stacey’s pregnant, Alex.”