Claire found her voice. “That isn’t what he said. He wants to talk to me alone.”
“Claire, what he wants is not the issue.” Her voice supportive and strong. “What do you want?”
“I want this to be over.” She looked into Jane’s eyes. “I didn’t do it.” Jane didn’t speak but lifted her brows. Claire straightened her back, stiffened her neck, and lifted her chin. “I want to talk to him.”
Paul said he would get him. Jane leaned close. “Do you want me to stay?” Claire exhaled, she had kept his secrets, she hadn’t told people what she went through, and she needed him to know that.
“No, I want to talk to him alone.”
Jane smiled and squeezed Claire’s arm. “It will be all right. Just know you need to discuss any deal with us before it can be initiated. We will be right outside the door.” Claire said she understood and suddenly thought about her appearance.
Claire’s counsel exited as Tony entered. They nodded to one another. Tony shut the door and turned to Claire. She watched as he walked to the table. He looked handsome, fit, and healthy. Relief filled her soul, seeing that the attempted murder hadn’t caused him harm.
“Tony, I am so glad you are all right.” She reached across the table. He took her petite hands in his. Claire continued, “You know I would never hurt you?” His eyes showed the smallest amount of brown.
“It certainly appears that you did.” She shook her head and felt tears. He continued, “You handed me the coffee, there was poison in the coffee.”
“You told me to get you coffee. I have thought about it a million times. There must have been poison in the coffee already, or in the cream. I just don’t know.” She felt his stare as she continued to speak, “I don’t know who would do this. The only other people at home were staff, staff you have employed for years. But it should be on surveillance. You have cameras in the kitchen—”
He interrupted. “All evidence points to you. Then there is the way you ran to the car and drove away.”
She lowered her eyes, she had disobeyed him. She knew not to drive. “I’m sorry.” The tears teetered on her lower lids. “It was impulsive. I knew not to take one of the cars. But I saw the keys, I hadn’t had the opportunity in so long, the sky was so blue, and you had been . . . well, life had been unpredictable and I felt like I was suffocating. I just needed a reprieve, a small break. But honestly, Tony, I was about to turn around to come home. I want to be home. I want to be with you.”
He lifted her chin. “Claire, how are your accommodations?” The tears slipped off the lids and onto her cheeks. She didn’t reply. Her thoughts were again spinning. His voice was so low, no one else could hear. “Consequences, appearances, I thought you learned your lessons better.”
“Tony, please take me home. I promise I will never disappoint you again. Please tell them that you know I wouldn’t, couldn’t do this.” His black eyes penetrated but she pushed on, “I know there will be consequences and punishment. I don’t care, as long as you are all right. I just want to go home. Please.” Begging wasn’t planned, but she wanted to be home. “Please, they will listen to you.”
Expecting his expression to contain compassion, she was disappointed. “The entire thing seems to be a colossal accident. However, I have done some research. It seems that you can plead insanity and receive treatment instead of incarceration.”
She sprung from her chair and started to pace. “What are you saying? I’m not pleading insanity. That means guilty and crazy. I’m neither!” She turned to look at him. “And this wasn’t an accident. I didn’t try to kill you!”
He stood and moved very close, looking down at her. “I have found a mental hospital that is willing to accept you. I will pay the expenses so that the taxpayers are not responsible for your lack of judgment.”
“I have been here for over a week. I’ve been questioned over and over. I haven’t divulged any private information. I have followed all the rules. The only thing I did against your rules is drive a car. That is it!”
“This plea will avoid a trial. It is understandable. You came from a modest background. The life we shared had pressures and responsibilities, with entertaining, charities, and reporters, it is understandable. You just couldn’t handle it.” Claire sat down, feeling increasingly ill. Tony walked over to her, bending down to maintain eye contact. “I should have recognized the signs. Perhaps I was too busy with work. When you canceled your charity obligations recently, I should have realized how overwhelmed you felt.” Claire listened as he spoke. It was his expression, a grin, one she recalled from a masquerade dinner almost two years ago that spoke louder than his words. “You wanted out, and in a moment of weakness—no, in a moment of insanity, you decided that the only way out was to try to kill me.” She watched him. This was a prepared speech. Oh my god! “I am only thankful you underestimated the amount of poison needed or you may have succeeded.”
The confusion in Claire’s mind began to dissipate, the fog cleared, and she could see Tony, his expression, and meaning as he spoke. “And if you had succeeded, I wouldn’t be here to help you now.” She suddenly realized that he was done with her. It was like the workers in Pennsylvania, she no longer mattered. He didn’t need her anymore! Tony pulled a chair to face Claire. “Aren’t you glad I am able to help you?” The bewilderment turned to the realization. He wasn’t going to help her. The reality hit her hard, not a physical slap, but it might as well have been. Instead of overwhelming sadness, two years of obedience and submission caused an overpowering rush of hostility. “And, Claire, I hear the rooms at the mental facility are larger than the cells at the federal penitentiary.” His grin broadened.
She straightened her neck and met his eyes. No longer did tears flow, instead her eyes sparked with anger. “Yes, Tony, I am so thankful. Would you like me to show you how thankful I am?” Her insincerity and sudden animosity came through loud and clear.
Tony stood, straightened his jacket. “Utilize the time you have to think this over. Don’t make another poor impulsive decision. This is your best offer.” He knocked on the door. “Goodbye, Claire.”
She didn’t respond. The attorneys reentered the room. Claire had new resolve. If he was planning to leave her, she was going to start talking. Mr. Evergreen spoke. “Mr. Task, if your client plans to plead insanity the prosecution will need psychological evaluations.”
“Mr. Evergreen, I do not plan to plead insanity.” Everyone turned to Claire, the last five days she’d hardly spoken, but she continued in a determined tone that none of them had heard before. “I can assure you I am not the person that is insane, although I have cause. I am innocent. Now if you will excuse me again, I need to speak to my counsel.”
She had entered this preexamination willing to sit passively and wait for Tony to rescue her. Turning to Jane, the only counsel willing to confront her husband, she said, “Ms. Allyson, if we could postpone this preexamination, I believe I have some evidence to share with you and Mr. Task.”
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life. Define yourself. —Harvey Fierstein
Chapter 49
Three days was all they had to prepare for the new preexamination. Claire spent hours with her attorneys uncompartmentalizing everything. She recounted everything she could remember from the last twenty-two months. Tony wouldn’t approve. Nonetheless, she was brutally honest, recounting details that she’d tried to suppress. She explained the initial contact and contract. She said she thought the date rape drug Rohypnol was used to get her to Iowa because she couldn’t remember traveling from Atlanta. This recount could have been demoralizing, but somehow it proved therapeutic, a catharsis.