So what was he doing kissing her? What was she doing letting him?
Her intellect told her to pull away. To stop the insanity before things went too far. But her body refused the command and proceeded to betray her. Vaguely, she was aware of his hands sliding down, skimming her shoulders, pausing at her breasts. The contact brought a moan to her lips. Her nipples beaded. Her breasts swelled against his hands, straining against the confines of her bra. The ache between her legs turned liquid and soft.
"What do you say, McNeal?" he whispered. "There's a loft a few feet away. I don't think we can ignore this much longer."
Anticipation coiled deep inside her. When his fingers went to the button of her slacks she didn't stop him. A gasp escaped her when his hand pressed flat against her belly. She wanted to protest, but his kiss battered her senses. Too much stimuli coming too quickly for her brain to process. She couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. She didn't seem to need either of those things as long as he didn't stop touching her.
A mewling sound broke from her lips when his finger slipped inside her. The contact shocked her. His boldness stole her breath. Her body arched involuntarily. She cried out, but his kiss swallowed the sound. Control fluttered away, taking the last of her wisdom, the last of her dignity. Her body clenched, released. The madness built like a storm, promising a violent end. She opened to him. Felt the burn of his fingers against her most intimate place. He stroked her, driving her higher, closer to the edge, beyond the point of no return.
"Don't fight it, McNeal," Nick whispered darkly. "Don't fight me."
The meaning behind his words shocked her. She'd never known need could be so powerful. She wanted Nick more than she'd ever wanted anything in her life. More than she thought herself capable. But even as he kissed her like she'd never been kissed before, and caressed her body with hands that were driving her slowly insane, his anger stood between them as tangibly as a block of ice. She couldn't let him touch her out of anger.
Putting her hands against his chest, she twisted away from him. "I can't do this." She stumbled back, flushed, embarrassed, her body trembling. "Not like this."
Nick let her go, his eyes dark and menacing, his nostrils flaring with each breath. "Why not?"
Erin turned away from him, unable to face him, struggling to control her breathing. "You're angry."
"That didn't seem to bother you a moment ago."
"I don't want this to happen out of anger."
"What exactly do you think is going to happen?"
She stared straight ahead, starkly aware of him behind her, appalled that she'd stepped right into his trap. "Nothing," she said. "Nothing's going to happen."
"You sure about that?"
Erin knew what he was trying to do. Push her away so he wouldn't have to face the fact that there was more going on between them than either of them was willing to admit. Emotions and issues that didn't have anything to do with matters of the flesh.
Humiliation that she'd lost control burned through her. She didn't give her body on a whim. She hadn't taken a lover since her disastrous breakup with Warren years ago. Until she met Nick, she hadn't even missed the physical aspect of a relationship.
Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him.
He gazed levelly at her. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have said those things." His jaw flexed. "I shouldn't have touched you."
No man had ever gazed at her the way Nick Ryan did. She wondered how he could look intense and coldly distant at the same time. Erin couldn't keep her eyes from making a quick sweep of him, taking in the rise and fall of his wide chest. The rigid set of his shoulders. The fact that he was still blatantly aroused.
"I have to go," she whispered in a strangled voice.
Never taking her eyes from his, she backed toward the front door. He watched her with predatory intensity, his expression inscrutable.
"Stay away from Stephanie," he said in a quietly dangerous voice. "She likes you, Erin, but she's vulnerable. I don't want her hurt."
"I'd never hurt her," she said.
"I know you wouldn't. Not purposefully. But she's fragile, and I don't want her heartbroken when you decide to go back to Chicago."
Erin steeled herself against the words. She told herself they didn't hurt. That she didn't care. She was a cop; relationships weren't her thing. Still, she felt his words like the jab of a bayonet right through her solar plexus. Dignity forgotten, she turned and fled the barn without looking back.
Erin promised herself she wasn't going to cry. Not again, for goodness sake. It seemed crying was getting to be a habit since she'd moved to Logan Falls and taken up residence on Nick Ryan's hit list. The problem, she decided as she got into her cruiser and slammed the door, was that she'd started breaking her own rules. The ones she'd been living with and doing just fine by since the day Warren had broken her heart and proved to her that most men didn't have the self-assurance to handle a relationship with a woman in a dangerous profession.
Only she knew Nick Ryan wasn't like most men.
As she pulled out of the driveway, she made the mistake of looking in her rearview mirror and catching a glimpse of Stephanie sitting on the front porch, waving her back. The little girl looked so forlorn sitting there with her horse-show trophy in her lap that Erin 's throat locked up. A hundred yards away, Nick stood at the barn door, his arms crossed at his chest, watching her pull away.
Erin 's heart ached for both of them. Stephanie because she wanted so desperately to lead a more active, normal life, and Nick because he couldn't bear the thought of his child taking any kind of risk. A heartbreaking situation. The only question that remained was which one of them would end up losing the most, and how much it would cost them.
Stay away from Stephanie.
Nick's words rang in Erin 's ears, and another wave of pain sliced under her ribcage. For the first time, she realized just how involved her heart had become. The thought elicited an uncharacteristic jab of panic. When was she ever going to learn that police work and relationships didn't mix? Not relationships with men. Certainly not with their children.
It was obvious Nick didn't want to get any closer to her. Well, at least not emotionally. A physical relationship with a man unable to risk his heart for fear of losing it was something she wanted no part of, no matter how attracted she was to him. Not that she wanted his heart in the first place, she reminded herself firmly.
Stephanie, on the other hand, had already snagged Erin 's heart. Not a good thing, considering Nick had all but forbidden her to see her. She knew if her feelings for the little girl got any deeper, she herself was going to get hurt. Best not to get involved. Nick didn't want her in either of their lives. He wasn't ready to care for anyone. Stephanie certainly didn't need any more hurt in her life. Maybe Nick was right. Maybe Erin should just go back to Chicago and forget both of them.
And cows had wings.
Not ready to return to the station and risk running into Hector with a kiss-bruised mouth and red-rimmed eyes, Erin turned onto County Line Road and headed away from town. Shrouded with trees from the greenbelt that ran along Logan Creek, the route was virtually deserted. With a little luck, she'd have a few minutes to pull herself together.
She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't see the black Lincoln behind her until it was nearly on top of her. Not opposed to handing out a speeding ticket, she eased up on the gas pedal and reached for her emergency strobes switch.
"Okay, speed racer-"
Her words were cut off abruptly as the Lincoln 's bumper slammed into the rear of her cruiser. The impact jolted her. Erin gripped the wheel, surprise burning in her gut. She turned her head to get a look at the driver, but like the sedan that had hit her at the school crossing, the windows were darkly tinted. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she checked for a license number to call in, but there was no plate.