Mia's throat closed and her eyes filled. "You don't know what I feel."
"You've been a cop long enough to know that people make choices. She chose to run away. And having a father beat her wasn't justification for pulling a gun on a store clerk while her boyfriend killed two people. A father and a little boy are dead and Kelsey is responsible. Surely you can't excuse that."
The blood was pounding in Mia's head. Yep, little sister did read the papers, even the really old ones. "No, I don't, and neither does Kelsey. You might be surprised to learn she hasn't actively petitioned for her parole. She'll serve her time until she's done. And when she's done she'll have spent more than half her life behind bars."
Olivia looked surprised, but her jaw was still hard. "It's what she deserves."
Mia's lips curled. "You have no idea what she deserves. You know nothing."
Olivia's eyes flashed fire. "I know she had a family. A house to live in. Food to eat. A sister who loved her. Which was more than I had and I didn't turn out that way."
Something snapped. "Yeah, and you didn't have a father who traded sex for protection, either." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Mia wished them back. "Goddammit," she hissed.
Olivia stood there, every ounce of color drained from her face. "What?"
"Hell." Mia grabbed the edge of the sink and hung her head but Olivia yanked her arm until she looked up.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing. I said nothing. We're done. I can't do this anymore."
"Is that what Kelsey told you?"
Everything went still, the implied accusation of Kelsey's lie hovering between them. "Yeah, that's what she told me." She swallowed. "And it's what I know."
Olivia's eyes were dark against her pale face. "That can't be true."
"It's true. Believe what you want about your father, but it's true about mine."
Olivia took a step back, trembling. "Then why did you become a cop? Like him?"
Like Olivia had, Mia realized and felt the pain of her loss as keenly as if it had been her own. "Not like him," she said wearily. "I was raised around cops. Good, decent men. They had a sense of family I didn't have. I wanted that. And, I suppose I wanted to save kids like Kelsey since I couldn't save her. There are so many out there like Kelsey. You're a cop. You've seen them. I started helping kids like her, runaways. Then I got good at catching the bad guys who hurt them. Now, it's what I am. It's all I am."
"I'm sorry." Tears slid down her cheeks. "I didn't know."
"You couldn't have known and I didn't want you to. I thought I could make you understand what kind of man he was without knowing. But 1 didn't want you to grieve a man who wasn't worth spit on his grave. Or feel inferior because he didn't choose you."
"I need to go." She backed up, grabbed her coat and scarf. "I need to go."
Mia watched her run out the front door. Flinched at the slam. Then pulled the pizza from the oven. She wanted to throw it. But it wasn't her kitchen. It was Lauren's kitchen with the pretty framed cross-stitch teapots and flowers with the "cs" in the corner. Made by Reed's wife. Who he'd never found anyone good enough to replace.
Including me. Trembling, she carefully placed the pan on the stovetop and turned on the water, then the garbage disposal. Then under the cover of noise, let herself cry.
Reed stood at the window, his heart thundering in his chest. Dear God. His life before the Sollidays had been dark and dank and dismal. He'd been hungry and afraid. His mother had used her fists. But this. He'd been afraid of this last night. She'd denied it too forcefully. Her father had molested his daughters. Rage bubbled with hate and Reed would have liked nothing more than to resurrect Bobby Mitchell so he could kill him again. But that wasn't what Mia needed. He watched her shoulders heave as she cried and his own eyes stung. She'd do this. Cry so that nobody would hear. Nobody would come. Nobody would help. She'd accept his help tonight. He opened the door, set the glass bowl on the stove, turned off the disposal and the water, then turned her into his arms. She stiffened, tried to pull away, but he held her firmly until her fingers curled into his shirt, hanging on.
Gently he pulled her across the kitchen, sat down and pulled her into his lap where her arms came around his neck and she clung, weeping so pitifully he thought his own heart would break. He held her tight, rocked her, kissed her hair until her tears were spent. She sagged against him, her forehead pressed against his chest so her face was hidden. It was her last defense and this he'd leave her.
She was quiet for a long time. "You were listening again."
"I came to bring you meatloaf. I can't help it that the walls are thin."
"I should be mad at you. But I don't seem to have enough mad left."
He ran his hands up and down her back. "I'd kill him if he weren't already dead."
"You don't understand."
"Then tell me. Let me help you."
She shook her head. "We made a deal, Solliday. This is way too many strings now."
He lifted her chin, made her look at him. "You're hurting. Let me help you."
She held his eyes. "It's not what you think. He never touched me."
"Kelsey?"
"Yeah." She stood, walked to the back door and stared out the window. "I remember the day I understood that Bobby would never change. I was fifteen and he was drunk. Kelsey had done something and he'd already belted her once. I begged him not to hurt her anymore and he made me a deal." She paused, then sighed. "He put his arm around me… Somehow I knew. He said if I did it, he'd leave Kelsey alone."
Reed swallowed hard. "You didn't."
"No, I didn't. Instead I busted my ass to get a scholarship by day. I took one of his guns and slept with it under my pillow at night. He'd been so drunk, I didn't think he even remembered he'd said it, but I was taking no chances. I tried to tell Kelsey to be careful, to watch out, not to antagonize him but she wouldn't listen. She hated me then. Or so I thought." She turned abruptly. "Do you know the meaning of sacrifice, Reed?"
"I don't know how to answer that."
Her mouth curved bitterly. "Wise answer. See, I always thought I escaped the big beatings because I was faster than Kelsey. Because I was somehow better. Smarter. I didn't antagonize him. He left me alone. What Kelsey didn't tell me until a few years ago is that he'd made the same proposition to her." She lifted her brows and said no more.
"Oh my God," he breathed, unable to fathom it. "Oh, Mia."
"Yeah. All the time I was telling her to straighten and fly right, to stop provoking him… all that time…" Her voice broke. "She did it. For me. Until I was gone to college. Then she ran away with a punk named Stone and ruined her life. Now she's in prison. Olivia was right. Kelsey did it. But I have to ask if she would have if things had been different. If the tables had been turned, would she be the cop? Would I be in jail?"
"You wouldn't have. You couldn't have."
"And you don't know that," she said, fury giving her voice a hard edge. "I've listened to you debate nature versus nurture with Miles all week and I'm here to tell you it's not that easy, Reed. Sometimes people go wrong, when if things were different they would have gone right. You said yourself you nearly ended up in a place like Hope Center. What if you had? What if the Sollidays hadn't taken you in? Where might you be?"
"I never broke the law," he said tightly. "Even when I was hungry, I never stole a penny. What I am, I made."
"And the Sollidays had nothing to do with that."
"They gave me a home. I did the rest."
She looked at him, something close to contempt in her eyes and he felt compelled to make her understand. "I'd been a runaway for three years, off and on. I met up with some kids who stole purses. I never did. Then one day one of them did and threw the purse to me. The lady screamed I'd done it and called the cops. I almost got hauled in, but a bystander went to bat for me. She'd seen the whole thing and swore I was innocent. Her name was Nancy Solliday. She and her husband took me."