Infidelity was part of army life, the women and intimate relations a way of passing the time and cheap. One of those casual liaisons had a result.”
“I don’t know if the child belonged to him and neither do you,”
he said, shocking her into meeting his gaze. Her eyes widened when she saw that indeed, he did. “I wanted to remind him of his duty by you, but it was none of my concern. It might have looked too particular. I satisfied myself that ensuring the woman had nothing she could pass on to you.”
“A disease you mean?” A smile touched her lips when she saw his hesitation. “You don’t have to hide that from me. I ceased to be a sheltered vicar’s daughter as soon as I entered my first army camp.
But I didn’t know that.” She paused, watching him. “Thank you.
That aspect did worry me. My husband wasn’t promiscuous, but I’m aware he took a woman or two.”
He stopped his rhythmic stroking and touched her chin, making her keep her attention on his face. “I never took more than one woman at a time. That is, I only ever had one woman in keeping. I didn’t have many. One in Brussels, one in Spain. Both long gone.”
“I know about the one in Spain. At least, I saw her leaving your tent one morning.” The shock when she’d seen it had taken her completely by surprise. “I shouldn’t have cared.”
“But you did.” He smiled. “I like that, Faith. I don’t intend to stray now I’m married.”
“You’re not married.”
“I am. To you.” He kissed her, touched his tongue to her lips before he withdrew. “Which is why I want to know if you mean to run.”
She might have known he’d never allow her to get away with one answer. “I did. I might. If it becomes untenable, if the rumours grow too loud, then you might be better blaming me for everything and claiming I fooled you along with everyone else.”
He leaned up on one elbow, his face hard with emotion, anger flashing in his stare. Propping his elbows either side of her, he took her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. “What is it, Faith? You’re no coward. I’ve watched you confront men twice your size and demand something of them. You never balked at doing your duty, or in facing the unpleasant facts of life. So why not now? Why this talk of leaving? That’s running away, retreating.
You’d do that?”
She swallowed. “For you, yes. You would deal better with someone younger, more acceptable to society. A fertile, beautiful woman...” Her voice tailed off as he continued to watch her. “I’m afraid.” He’d forced her to confront the truth. “The way those women stared at me today, and the notion that they’ll do it and worse. The gossip rags, the newspapers, they’ll be discussing me.”
“They will,” he said calmly. “But I’ll stay by your side. They’ll talk about me, too. They already call me an upstart, a crude soldier.
Do you think I’m crude, Faith?”
The remembrance of what he’d done with her not long ago brought the heat to her cheeks. “Only in the best way.”
His gaze softened and she felt the unmistakeable signs of his arousal. “I can’t do it alone, or rather I don’t want to. I can see no point.” He shook her a little. “I need you with me. You’re the only person who understands. We saw the same things, felt the same emotions. I can’t face this stultifying society without you. I don’t want to. If you leave, I might well retire to the country and make the best of what I have.” His mouth straightened, but she knew not because of her, at least not this time. “You should know all of it.
You have the right. I’ve been studying the books, those I have, and I’m not happy with what I’m reading. They would serve for anyone not as well acquainted with business as I am, but the title and the estates have been running at a loss. They shouldn’t have. The earldom owns valuable land, rich in minerals, lush and fertile.
There’s no reason for it.”
Shocked, she whispered, “Why would that happen?”
“Bad management, or worse. I need to take a personal interest.
The last earl didn’t appear to have a good head for business.”
“You knew him well?”
“Barely. I met him occasionally when as a boy, and once or twice in London when I came back on leave.” He sighed. “I travelled half way across the ocean with him. I knew his darkest secret. Not enough to understand him in reality.” He paused. “They liked me, the earl and his brother.”
She hadn’t realised. She’d thought both the brothers hadn’t known of his continued existence until recently. “Do you think someone has been manipulating the books?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have enough to go on. You must not tell anyone I said this, because I want them to believe I know little about estate management. One business is much like another at its heart and I can read a set of accounts much better than any of them know. Acting the fool can often garner far more information than aloofness.” His anger dissipating, he kissed her again, and this time the kiss lasted longer. “Promise me one thing, you won’t go without telling me first.” He released her, rolled off her, leaned over her, resting on one elbow. “We should marry in truth.”
“What?” Words left her. Startled out of her skin, she stared at him. He gazed back, waiting for her. “I thought I’d disappear.”
“Not now. If you leave, what will you do? Get a position as a governess? Not with the best in the land, because they’ll recognise you. Spend the rest of your life caring for other people’s children, deferring to your inferiors, earning a bare living?”
“They’re not my inferiors.”
“Everyone is your inferior.” The words rang around the room.
“You belong here, with me, by my side.”
She swallowed. The prospect tempted her beyond bearing, but she could not accept it. He’d learned about Cockfosters and he wanted to protect her. Her emotions rose up to choke her and she had to fight for her next breath. “I married once before from necessity.” She hadn’t understood her need to keep an option to leave until that very moment, but it was true. She didn’t want anyone to manoeuvre her into marriage ever again. From the moment her mother had seen John Smith at the local assembly, she’d decided he would do for one of her daughters, and Faith proved the lucky one. At least she got to quit the stifling atmosphere of the small town where she’d been born and brought up. This time she would make the decision herself, go into it knowing she wanted it, took responsibility for it. “I’m sorry, John, it’s only—“
He hushed her with a kiss, softly brushing her lips with his. “No matter. Just one thing. If our lovemaking results in a child, you will marry me immediately and without question.” He didn’t make it a question. She understood the reason for it.
“Yes.” If she had a baby, then she wouldn’t deny it its birthright.
She’d marry him. “Does the special licence expire?”
“Not for a while. Don’t leave it too long Faith. If you truly cannot bear it, if you want to go, tell me first. Promise me.”
After his confidences, it was the least she could do. She nodded.
“I’ll tell you. I’m so sorry I made you do this, accept me as your wife, I mean. If you’d let me go that first night, you wouldn’t have needed to.”
“After I saw you in moonlight?” He shook his head, tsking. “You think I could let you go after that?” He stroked her throat, touched his finger to the hollow at the base then trailed down to her breasts.
“Not a chance. Let me try to persuade you to stay. Another day, hmm?”