“Tell me again,” she urged.
“I love you,” he said, without regret, breathing in the scent of her hair, savoring the feel of her skin.
“Why?”
Of course she had to know why. She was Carly.
He moved away from her to lie on his back, needing some space for perspective. Putting his hands behind his head, he stared up at her bedroom ceiling, searching for the words to explain it to her. “My whole life, I’ve been like a stray dog, the kind you see next to a Dumpster. Either you feel sorry for it or you want to kick it out of the way, because you can’t stand the sight of suffering. It’s human nature.”
She turned to face him, her beauty bathed in moonlight.
“I’ve been half in love with you since junior high, because you were everything I wasn’t. You’re the kind of person everyone wants to be around.”
“Just because of my dad,” she countered.
“Maybe that’s part of it,” he replied, “but you have this glow about you, something all your own. No one would ever kick you out of the way.”
“Oh, James,” she said, cupping her palm around his cheek.
He took her hand away and held it instead. “You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had.”
She pressed her face to his chest, sniffling.
“You make me feel like a man.”
“You’re not a man,” she whispered.
“That’s what you keep telling me. Maybe someday I’ll prove you wrong.”
CHAPTER 13
Flexing his hands in frustration, Ben crossed a dark, deserted Neptune, the street lamp overhead contorting his shadow into an eerie Nosferatu.
All he wanted to do was fall into his bed and sleep for a week. He might not even wake up early to surf tomorrow.
He was physically exhausted, sexually unsatisfied, and emotionally…well, he wasn’t sure where he was emotionally. He didn’t want to dig too deep there.
Summer was driving him insane, running hot one moment, cold the next. Now that he wanted to hold on to her a little while longer, she kept slipping farther away. He realized it was part of her appeal. She was elusive, perhaps deliberately so, and he was infatuated.
If he wasn’t careful, she’d be leading him around by his cock.
Although he was dead on his feet, he stopped by Carly’s room to check on her before he went to bed. She was sound asleep, as sweet and innocent as an angel, warm and safe in the security of James’ arms.
Rage and indignation burned through him. Ben couldn’t believe the little son of a bitch would dare to get horizontal with his daughter in his own house. In her bedroom, no less, right down the hall from Ben’s. Then he saw that while Carly was under the covers, James was on top of them, fully dressed. He was sleeping soundly, his arm across her waist, shoes hanging off the edge of the bed.
It was time for a man-to-man talk, Ben decided with a grimace, kicking James’ foot.
James woke with a start, tightening his arm around Carly’s waist protectively. Noticing Ben’s presence, he narrowed his sleepy eyes. Of course he was expecting a fight.
With movements that showed utter exhaustion and a reluctant acceptance of defeat, he rose to his feet, preparing to do battle.
Or, at the very least, to be tossed out on his ear.
Downstairs, on the way to the front door, Ben detained him. “Wait,” he said, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. When the corner of James’ lip curled up in a feral, visceral response, Ben removed his hand. He’d never known a person more aversive to touch.
Except maybe Summer. But they were working the kinks out of that phobia pretty nicely, he had to admit.
He gestured toward the living room couch. “You can sleep here if you want. I can’t have you in Carly’s room.”
James’ expression revealed suspicion. “Why would you let me sleep here?”
Ben took a pillow and blanket out of the closet. “Kid, you look about to fall over. I don’t know what you’ve been doing, or why, but I feel sorry for you.”
James deliberated, looking from the door to the plush space in front of the fire.
“Trouble at home?” Ben asked.
James scowled at the question, shuffling his feet instead of answering.
Ben was fairly certain James had been knocked around at home, and that didn’t sit well with him. It didn’t bode well for his daughter, either. “I’m concerned for Carly. Can you understand why?”
“Sure. You think I’m like my dad. That I’m looking for someone smaller and weaker to pound on.”
“No,” Ben said. With Carly, James was like a dog guarding a bone. “I’m worried about other stuff.”
James didn’t need to hear more. “We’re not having sex,” he said.
Ben couldn’t help but feel relieved. But how long would that last? “She’s only sixteen,” he lamented, for even the most heartfelt intentions of a teenaged boy were tenuous, at best.
“I know,” James said, frowning. “I’m not even interested in that.”
“You’re not?”
“Okay, I am,” James clarified, “but I’m not going to do anything about it. I know she’s too good for me.” His blue eyes darkened with anger. “Isn’t that what you’re trying to tell me? That I’m just some dirty wharf rat with a drunk asshole for a dad and a mom who didn’t care enough to stick around?” He glanced down at his hands. They were riddled with scars and calluses, much more like a man’s than a boy’s. “I know I’m not fit to touch her. These hands are only good for pulling in nets.” He clenched them into fists. “And fending off blows.”
Ben wasn’t about to disagree with James’ estimation of himself, even though his conscience told him he should. “Where’s your mom?”
To his amazement, tears filled James’ eyes. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “She left a long time ago. I haven’t heard from her.”
“Okay,” Ben said, totally uncomfortable handling a boy’s emotions. Carly was often tearful, and never ashamed to use it to her advantage. This was uncharted territory.
He searched for common ground. “Are you hungry?”
“Starving,” James admitted.
Ben smiled. “Want a sandwich?”
Staff Sergeant Paula DeGrassi was at the crime scene well before Sonny arrived. She stood on a concrete walkway near the base of a man-made jetty that skirted Coronado Bay, the security lighting raining down on her silvery blond hair and gunmetal gray suit.
DeGrassi didn’t look happy to see her.
According to Grant, she was a territorial ball-buster who ate FBI agents for breakfast. Although Sonny was here to supervise the retrieval, not make friends, she smoothed one hand down the front of her jacket and pasted a cool smile on her face as she approached.
“Staff Sergeant DeGrassi? I’m Special Agent Vasquez. We spoke on the phone.”
DeGrassi accepted her handshake with a grunt of acknowledgment and got down to business. “We have a young, dark-haired female who appears to have been in the water for several days,” she said, turning toward a small man in a yellow jacket that said COUNTY MEDICAL EXAMINER. “I think we all know she wasn’t dumped here, so let’s not waste any more time trying to preserve the integrity of the scene.”
The ME nodded his agreement.
“Dr. Ramashad,” he said, sticking out his hand to greet Sonny. “If we wait much longer, the tide will take her back out.”
While Sonny and DeGrassi watched from a distance, the ME and two CSIs performed the unwieldy task of removing the body from the jagged rocks lining the side of the jetty. The tide was coming in, making their job more difficult, sloshing against the rocks and sending up spouts of seawater with each approaching wave.
At 2:00 A.M., the air was still and damp, a moderate 60 degrees. Sonny wasn’t cold in her jeans and jacket, and even with the lack of wind and excess moisture, her eyes were bone-dry, unblinking despite her fatigue.
The night had been the most surreal of her life. She’d met her miserable excuse for a father and knocked him unconscious. Found out she had two half-brothers she’d never known about. And almost slept with Ben.