She felt so confused. With Blake, it was like she consciously thought about him; with Sage, it was like she couldn’t help it – she thought about him whether she wanted to or not, and she didn’t understand her strong feelings for him. Strangely enough, even though she’d known Blake for years, she already somehow felt closer to Sage. What bothered her more than anything was that it didn’t make sense. She hated not understanding – especially when it came to love.
“Oh my God, Scarlet?” came the voice.
As she closed her locker she saw Maria standing there, looking back at her as if she were looking at an infamous celebrity.
“You’re never here early! I texted you like a million times last night! What happened? Where were you? Are you OK?”
Scarlet felt a pang of regret; she’d been too overwhelmed to reply to all her texts. She also felt a new feeling of nervousness around Maria, given her feelings for Sage. After all, Maria made it clear that she was obsessed with Sage. If she found out Scarlet had talked to him the night before – especially in front of her own house – she feared Maria would freak out. Maria was so possessive and territorial when it came to boys. She always thought that whoever she laid her eyes on was hers – whether the person knew of her existence or not. And if anyone even remotely got in the way, they were her instant enemy. She could be very spiteful like that – and she would never forgive and forget. She was that kind of person: either your closest friend, or your mortal enemy.
“Sorry,” Scarlet replied. “I crashed early. I wasn’t feeling well. And I couldn’t deal with the whole Facebook thing.”
“OMG, I hate her,” Maria said. “Vivian. What a snake. Who does she think she is? I posted on her wall, and on her friends’ walls, too. I put them all in their place for bashing you.”
Scarlet felt so appreciative towards Maria – which made her feel even more guilty for having talked to Sage. She wished she could just tell her, just explain to her what happened with Sage – but she didn’t really understand herself what had happened. And she feared that if she even mentioned it, Maria would lose it.
“You’re the best,” Scarlet said, as she put an arm around her in appreciation.
The two of them walked side-by-side, down the halls, which were quickly filling up, the noise getting louder and louder, as they began the long march down towards the other end of school, for their first class together.
“I mean, the nerve of her,” Maria said. “First, stealing your man. Then, posting all about it. She’s just threatened. And jealous. She just knows you’re the better girl.”
Scarlet felt a little bit better, yet still felt a twinge of sadness at the idea of losing Blake. Especially under these circumstances. All she wanted was a chance to explain to Blake, to tell him that, whatever happened down at the river, that wasn’t her. But she didn’t really know how to explain. What could she say to him? She guessed she’d laid it out well enough in her text. And he never even replied.
“Hey guys,” came the voice.
Walking up beside them were Jasmin and Becca. Scarlet sensed them looking her over, and was beginning to feel paranoid about all the attention.
“Hey,” Scarlet said, as they all walked together, heading as a small group down the halls. “So are you going to like keep us in suspense?” Jasmin asked. “What happened with Blake?”
Scarlet could feel the eyes on her, and felt flustered. As they walked, she also saw the glances of all the kids. She wanted to think that she was just being paranoid – but she knew she wasn’t. There were definitely a ton of people looking at her, stealing side glances, as if she were some kind of freak. She wondered again how many kids had been online, had read all the posts, and what they believed. Was she going to be known as the girl who got dumped by Blake? Who lost Blake to Vivian? She burned at the thought of it.
“Is it true?” Becca asked. “Did he really dump you?”
“If he did,” Jasmin said, “just tell us, and we’ll slam his Facebook wall.”
“Thanks guys,” Scarlet said. She thought about how to best respond. She didn’t really know how to explain.
“So?” Maria prodded. “Are you really not going to tell us?”
Scarlet shrugged.
“I’m not sure what to say. There really is nothing to tell. We went down to the river, and like…” She paused, debating how to phrase it. “… Blake kissed me.”
“And?” Jasmin prodded. “You’re killing us here!”
Scarlet shrugged.
“That’s it. Nothing really happened. I mean, I like him. I still do like him. But… I left. I mean, I started feeling like really sick, so I had to leave, kind of abruptly.”
“What do you mean sick?” Becca asked.
“Like my stomach started killing me,” she lied, not knowing what else to say. “And I had this really bad headache.” At least it was partially true, she thought. “I think I was just still sick from the other day. So I rushed out of there. Bad timing, I guess.”
“So did Blake like bring you back? Or was he like a total jerk?” Jasmin asked.
Scarlet shrugged.
“It’s not his fault. I didn’t really give him time to, I guess. I kind of just left. I felt bad about it. I wanted to explain it to him. But he never answered my text.”
“What a jerk,” Maria said.
“What a loser,” Jasmin added. “Seriously. So you got sick – so what, he doesn’t answer your texts? What’s his problem? So you were sick. Big deal. I mean like he’s not going give you a chance to explain?”
“Totally,” Maria chimed in. “And then, what, he goes running back to Vivian, and like dumps you for her? Just because you were sick? What’s his problem? He totally doesn’t deserve you. It’s for the best.”
Scarlet really appreciated all the voices of support, and it made her feel better. She had never thought of it that way. She guessed she had been her own worst critic. The more she thought about it, the more she realized they had a point. Maybe Blake should have been more sympathetic; maybe he should have followed up, asked her how she was feeling; maybe he shouldn’t have been so quick to run to Vivian.
But had he really? Or had Vivian made it up?
“Thanks guys,” she said. “I really appreciate it. Though honestly I don’t really know what happened after. I don’t know if he went back to Vivian or if she just made it all up.”
“So I guess that means you’re not going with him to the dance?” Maria asked. “So then who are you going with? I mean, are you like not going?” she asked, her voice rising as if that were the most horrible thing in the world.
Scarlet shrugged. That stupid dance – it couldn’t have come at a worse time. She really didn’t know what to say.
“I doubt Blake’s taking me,” she said. “As far as going alone… ”
For a moment, Scarlet couldn’t help but think of Sage. She realized how much she’d actually like to go with him. She hardly knew why. His face just stuck in her mind.
At the same time, she thought of Maria, what she would think – and the thought of going with Sage felt like a betrayal. She quickly tried to push it out of her mind.
“If I don’t go, I don’t go,” she finally said. “It’s okay. Maybe next year.”
“There’s a huge pre-game party tonight at Jake Wilson’s house. His parents are away. We’re all going. You have to go. Maybe you’ll find a date there.”
Scarlet gulped. Sneaking out and searching for a date tonight was the last thing she wanted to do.
“Well anyway don’t feel bad,” Maria said. “I don’t have a date yet either.”
“What about Brian?” Jasmin asked her.
“We’re over, remember?” she said.
“But he’s not dating anyone else.”