“Shut the fuck up, man! Can’t you fucking deal with your shit and leave me to mine?!” I bark, standing from my chair, ready to fight. I’ve been so on edge lately that I’m trying to pick a fight over nothing. Fuck, Benton. Calm your shit.
He smiles and leans back, loving the fact that he got to me that easily. Shit, he did it on purpose just to see my reaction to her.
“Fuck,” I sigh, sitting back down.
“Yeah, really. I never thought I’d see the day you moved on from Carly, but here we are…”
“Fuck off, Adam. You know that’s not what this is. She’s not coming back, and I’m finally happy with someone.”
“Someone who blacks out in your house while babysitting? Someone who lies to you about said blackout? Dude, I think you need to get your priorities straight. She better be fucking great in bed-”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I cut him off. The noise that comes out of me puts a quick look of fear on his otherwise calm complexion. He knows what happens when I get mad. That’s why he used to bet on me, and only me, when I fought. Back when things were less complicated.
“Shit. I can’t say, exactly, but I can tell you Gabby isn’t all she’s making herself out to seem. Something’s going on, dude,” he sighs. “Annaliese and she sat in the living room that night for over an hour and, by the time they were finished, Gabby was passed out on the couch and Annaliese cried the entire way home.”
“What the hell happened that night? Gabby said you two stopped by because you were in the neighborhood, but didn’t you have that fundraiser? That’s on the other side of Chicago.” I’m starting to get very worried that what Gabby has told me about the happenings of that dreadful night aren’t exactly full of the truth. Why would she lie to me about that, about something regarding my daughter?
“Dude, I wasn’t in the room. All I know is that Gabby called freaking out, Annaliese made us leave the party, and, when we got there, Gab was passed out on the living room floor, phone still in hand.”
Passed Out?
“Fuck me,” I moan, putting my head in my hands for a moment to take in the disappointment. The rage. The hurt. What the hell? “Adam, she lied to me,” I say, astonished that I almost told her I loved her the other day. How can I love someone that lies to me about something like that? And what type of person does it make me that even though I know she lied, I still have incredibly strong feelings towards her? Feelings of love and hope for the future.
Fuck.
“Yeah, well…” He rests his elbows on his knees and sighs. Looking at me and glancing back at the door, like he’s making sure I’m the only one to hear his next words, he clears his throat and continues. “B, she has a kid.”
It feels like the wind’s been knocked out of me. A kid? A KID! She has a fucking kid?!
“I need you to leave, Adam,” I growl, clenching my fists, feeling the need to hit something. Hard.
“No can do,” he leans back and stares at me. “You’re not about to ruin this office because you can’t get that anger under control. Too much fucking money lies right here in this beautiful desk.” He pets the desk and grins. Asshole.
“I’m not going to destroy the office,” I say as calmly as I can. “I’m going to find Gabby.”
“Nope. She’s in cases all day, I’ve already checked. Good thing our company has a good chunk of money in her office. We can keep track of all of our employees that way.” He shrugs and picks up a picture frame of Hannah and my mom. “It’s a beautiful picture, B. She truly loved that little girl,” he says, trying to get my mind off the fact that I want to scream at Gabby until she tells me the truth.
“Adam,” I warn.
“The way I see it,” he sighs and sets the frame down, making complete eye contact with me. “You have two choices. Obviously, you love her, or you wouldn’t have let her watch Hannah abruptly like you did. Obviously, she means the world to you or else you wouldn’t be so upset right now about all of this. You can storm into her office, piss her off, embarrass her and make her tell you…. OR you can do it the civil way, and actually talk about the shit that bothers you.” He stands and shrugs, then walks towards the door. “Your call, B. I just don’t want you to do something rash and regret your decision. I’ve seen how happy you were before you mom passed… I think Gabby has a lot to do with that. I love you and will always. She is a huge reason why Annaliese and I are together so I’ll always have a soft spot for her as well. I may come off as brass and mean and stubborn, but I fight for those I love. I love you both, but you both have growing and learning to do before you can move forward.”
I’m speechless. Mr. Chicago talking so freely about his feelings? I know he thinks the world of me… what with helping speed up my adoption, helping with the funds for Carly’s funeral last year, and even helping out with Hannah whenever he can. He’s a better uncle than most blood relatives are but he’s never come out and said anything like this before.
“I don’t want to see either of you get hurt, that’s all.” He slightly grins at me and shrugs again.
“I appreciate that man.” I sigh and run my hands down my face. “I don’t think she’s hiding anything bad…. I’m sure it’s just insecurities or something.” I hope so at least, but something tells me there’s more to it.
“Yea… well either way… I want you both happy. Sure I give you a hard time about her, but it all has been so weird, B. I don’t like not being in the know, and you kept this from me for a long time. I’m worried… for both of you. I just want you guys to be as happy as I have become with Annaliese.”
With that as his sign off, he leaves my office, not closing the door behind him.
Asshole has a very valid point, and, as much as I want answers now, I know it’s only going to hurt both of us if I don’t go into this level headed. Maybe she has a reason she lied to me. Maybe there’s a perfectly good explanation of why she won’t tell me what’s really going on with her. I’ve seen the results from the nightmares, the shaking hands when out in public with Hannah. I’ve seen all these little things but none of it makes sense. Gabby is the typical American twenty-something woman. She’s smart, sexy, funny… she has the world ahead of her and a backbone to get it.
What’s she keeping from me?
Too upset to get any work done, I head out for an early lunch and call Dr. Travers on the way. Maybe he can help me out with these feelings of rage.
“Hey, Benton,” he answers, happy all the damn time. “What’s up?”
“I didn’t really expect you to answer,” I grumble. I love Dr. T; I just wish I had half of his optimism at times.
“It’s my lunch break, and I know what you’ve been going through. I saw the papers, son. I’m terribly sorry about your mother.”
“Thanks. Listen… I need to talk,” I sigh, running my hands through my hair. “You got a minute?”
“Absolutely, as long as you don’t mind me crunching in your ear,” he laughs. “What’s on your mind?”
I don’t plan on it, but I proceed to tell him everything. Every time I think I’ve heard rattling pills, to the gazed look she has at times, to the panic I see when I watch her out in public. Everything. When I’m finally done, I hear him take a breath and sigh.
Great, here we go. Now he can tell me how crazy I am for making myself fall in love with a woman who’s obviously broken.
“I’d like you to come in, Benton. Can you do that?”
“Uh… sure. When?” it’s weird he won’t talk to me over the phone. We’ve had a ton of these conversations before, but now he’s needing to see me in person?
“Thursday work for you? I have time in the evening. Six work?”
“Yeah. Sure, I’ll see you then,” I say, confused.
“Hey Benton, just don’t do anything rash right now, okay? You know the truth, everyone is safe, just… don’t let the anger get the best of you. We’ll talk Thursday, okay?”