***
“What’s that?” Gabby asks, tracing the scar on my back.
“I got that in my first fight. I wasn’t trained well… and I wasn’t aware that some of the men out there were as ruthless as they were.” I sigh, not really wanting to relive that injury.
“What happened?” she whispers, laying gentle kisses on it. Jesus, if we’re just fucking around, this is walking dangerously close to romantic feelings and shit. I didn’t think she wanted that?
“I wasn’t watching him… apparently, neither were the refs. He pulled a knife and I went down.” I roll to my back so she can’t see it anymore and brush the hair from her face. “I don’t like to talk about my scars,” I whisper.
“Me either,” she whispers back, bringing her fingers to my jawline.
“Your bod is fucking pristine,” I growl, pulling her on top of me. She laughs and rolls her eyes.
“If you only knew,” she says, right before she kisses me and reaches down to rub my dick like she’s ravaged for it, even though we just got done having sex for the third time tonight about a half hour ago.
Damn, this woman will be the end of me.
***
“Hey,” her raspy voice wakes me from my light nap. I’ve been sleeping like shit these last few days so any chance I get now my eyes seem to close on their own accord.
“Hey!” I say, shooting up in my seat. Jesus, I need to calm down. She was just shot; I need to chill. I just… I need her. “How are you?” I reach for her again and, when my hand connects with hers, she just stares at it. Blankly. I sigh, not knowing what to say to her.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you?
Thank you for jumping in front of the bullet that was headed for my girl?
I love you so much it literally hurts me knowing that you’re hurt and I can’t do anything about it?
“Water,” she rasps, trying to reach for her cup. It’s full of ice, so I give her a few chips and watch her close her eyes as she gently chews on it. When she’s done, she takes a ragged breath and opens her eyes, glancing down at her bandaged body. “More permanent reminders,” she whispers, shaking her head and laying it gently back on the pillow.
“More?” I whisper, watching her as she shuts down again.
It’s been days of her not talking to me. I’ve been sitting here just waiting. Waiting for the sparkle in her eyes to come back to normal. Waiting to hear her tell me she loves me. Waiting for something that has never came. Each day that passes, I fear it never will come.
“More.” She whispers, opening her eyes and gently lifting her head. “The eyes,” she manages. I know her voice is still scratchy and dry, but I’m not sure what she’s getting at.
“Eyes?” I hate to make her talk, but I don’t understand what her eyes have to do with permanent scars.
She smiles sadly and nods. Clearing her throat and taking another ice cube, she takes a breath and watches me as she tells me, in detail, what happened the night twelve years ago.
“When the car hit the tractor, the airbags all went off. I had on glasses at the time. A shard of glass got impaled in my eye… I didn’t have insurance, and didn’t get it checked out. It got infected... there were all kinds of complications.” She shrugs and looks out the window. “I’m losing sight in it. It gets worse as the years go on. I’m sure that, in a few more years, I’ll be completely blind in it.”
Blind?
“Jesus,” I say, sighing. “Gabby, I’m sorry, but I don’t see you as that person with a bad eye… or someone with scars. I see you as my Gabby. The woman who loves my daughter. I see you as the woman who makes me so goddamned hard every time she walks into the room.”
She grins and my heart warms. She hasn’t grinned for me in days. I’m actually getting somewhere.
At least, I thought I was. Until she starts playing with her ring. The look on her face tells me exactly what she’s going to say before she even says it, and my heart immediately starts to crack.
“B… I can’t do this,” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”
Slipping off the ring, she hands it back to me, and it’s all I can do not to scream at her, but the doctor’s words ring in my head.
Be patient with her.
“Gabby, please don’t do this.”
“Can you please go? I’m tired,” she says, pushing the button on the side of her bed.
Fuck!
“Yes, ma’am… Can we get you something?” The nurse’s voice rings through the small speaker on the side of her bed.
“I’m tired. Can you please make sure no guests for a while?” she says with her eyes closed. “My guest will be checking out shortly.”
I sigh and shake my head. Standing to leave, I make it to the door before I turn back to look at her. She’s my Gabby. I’m not giving up, and I’m not letting her push me away.
She needs me, but I need her more.
“I love you, Gabby,” I whisper, watching her take a deep breath after the words leave my mouth.
She’s listening. She knows. She’s just sad, and having a hard time. I’ll give her that, but what I won’t give her is the satisfaction that she’s hurt me. I know that’s what she’s trying to do. She’s trying to push me away, but it’s not that easy to do.
Making it out to the waiting room, I have a few missed calls from Adam that I need to tend to before he shows up here, pissed.
“Hey,” I say when he grunts his answer.
“Benton. Fuck, man… you’ve put me through a shit storm today, you know that?” He sounds drained, and I suddenly feel bad for not finding help this week while I’ve been slacking at work.
“Sorry, man. I’ll bring someone up from downstairs to fill in for me until this stuff gets sorted out.”
“No man... not work. Work is going perfect. Take another week off,” he says chuckling. “You haven’t heard, obviously, have you?”
“Heard what?” I growl. What other bad news is going to smack me across the face?
“Gabby’s mom died from her injuries yesterday in the same hospital you two are at.”
Oh, fuck.
“Shit,” I say, sitting on a bench because I suddenly feel like I could pass out.
Shit, I killed someone.
“Oh my god, Adam,” I groan. “This isn’t happening. I didn’t… she wasn’t… she fucking shot Gabby!”
I can’t go to jail. I can’t leave my baby. I can’t… oh fuck fuck fuck.
“Relax, man. I’m having it taken care of. She has no next of kin, and no one really cares she’s dead. Plus, it was all in defense of Gabby who couldn’t defend herself.”
“Hell,” I sigh.
“B, dude, don’t worry about it. I’ve got this, but I just thought you should know in case Gabby finds out before you.”
Shit.
“Listen, I need to get moving. I have a meeting with the state department in a half hour. You’re going to be fine, Benton. I promise you. Now, go take care of your girl.”
Hanging up without words, I don’t move.
I can’t.
She’s going to hate me. I’m a killer. If she didn’t want to stay with me before, now she’s going to be terrified of me.
Fuck.
Gabby
Crazy
One week later
“Today’s the day!” Annaliese beams, opening the blinds of my room. “You can finally get out of this terrible place.”