“I bet. You were a bitch to him, Gab.”
“Thanks for handling me with kid gloves, jeez,” I whine as the doors open and she helps shuffle me out into the hallway.
“Hey… look. I know you’ve been through a shit storm in your life, but you finally have something worth being happy over… someone that loves you deeply, and who will do anything for you. Someone that literally would kill for you,” she chuckles.
“It’s not really funny… but I’m so glad I have him,” I say, smiling.
“Good. Because we’re here, and I’m not staying. You two have shit to talk about. And I have a playdate with my niece,” she says. Opening the door, she walks me in, and I see Benton standing in the hallway with Hannah on his hip, a surprised look filling his face.
“Oh my god, what… how…”
“I might have lied.” Annaliese smiles slyly. “So, I’m taking this tiny one to the park, and you two are going to figure this out.”
Without any more words, Annaliese grabs Hannah’s diaper bag and stroller and has her out the door in mere minutes after arriving, leaving Benton and I starting at each other in his hallway.
“I uh… I thought you knew.”
“No. I mean…. She told me you weren’t getting out until tomorrow. I thought you were sleeping in her spare room,” he says, sounding hurt and confused.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I can go-”
“NO!” he blurts. “I want you here. So bad, Gabby… come on, can you walk?”
“No, Annaliese carried me in,” I say, grinning. He finally cracks one himself and I start laughing. “Yes, I can walk with a little help. You mind?”
“Yeah… absolutely.” He takes my arm and helps me move down the hallway to the couch. I feel so awkward with him, but I don’t want to. I want to feel normal with him, I want to be able to feel comfortable around him, but I feel so bad for pushing him away and I have to apologize. I take a breath to speak… to get out everything that I need to tell him.
To apologize.
Before I’m able to say anything, though, he starts in with a worried tone to his voice.
Something’s off with him, and I know what it is.
“Listen, Gab,” he sighs. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but just because you pushed me out of your hospital room doesn’t mean you pushed me out of your life. If that’s what you were trying to do, you’re going to have to try a whole hell of a lot harder than that… and even then I’m not certain you’ll be able to ever get rid of me. I don’t know what’s going on in your mind, but I’m here. I’m giving you your space, but I’m not gone.” He sighs and curses. “But, before you say anything,” he blurts. “I have to tell you something that might change the way you think about me. It’s nothing I planned, it’s nothing I’m proud of… but I can’t change it.” He’s going to tell me about my mom, but seeing the sadness coursing through him, I can see he’s actually having a worse time with the news than I am.
“Benton, I know what you’re going to tell me,” I say smiling. Resting my good hand on his cheek, I shake my head. “I’m not worried about it. I know you didn’t mean to… I know it was an accident… I also know that you love me and you’d never hurt me. Ever. I know this. I also know I love you more now than I ever did before, and I didn’t even know that was possible. What you did? You cleared my slate. Wiped it clean. Something in me snapped when I heard the news about her. Something in my brain clicked back on… and now all I can think is how big of an asshole I was to you.”
A smile breaks his tense features, and I’m finally starting to feel right again, but I’m not done with what I have to tell him. This is important to me. This is something that I was never given when I was younger.
“I’m sorry, Benton,” I whisper, feeling the knot in my throat grow.
“Gab, no,” he says, taking my face in his hands.
“No, I have to. I wasn’t in my right mind, and I thought that pushing you away from me would keep you safe. I’m so sorry I did that. You’re my world, and I can’t function without you.” I’m rambling but I can’t stop. I didn’t realize how badly I missed him until I was told I would be discharged… and I didn’t know where to go. I don’t care that I sound desperate or that I’m bawling my eyes out. I don’t care that I’m probably coming off as weak. I’d be all over him, begging for his forgiveness, if it wouldn’t be for the stitches in my side not letting me move without pain.
“I love you, Benton. I do… and I screwed up when I made you leave. When Annie told me you were at the hospital every day, I realized just how much I ruined,” I whisper through the tears.
“Oh god, Gabby, no… No, baby, that’s not… I’m not… Baby, you didn’t ruin anything.” Gently he takes my face in his hands and leans in to kiss me, thumbing away the tears. “Gabby, I told you I’m not going anywhere, and I meant it. I’m so in love with you it hurts physically when I have to think about a world without you.”
He stands and walks across the room. As he walks, I notice the small things about him that I fell in love with. The muscles under the t-shirt that I can tell are tense right now, the hair I love to run my fingers through, the strong jawline that currently is harboring a few days of beard growth. All of it making my libido roar back to life as if I never were shot. Unfortunately, my current condition won’t let me act on it. Damn, this is going to be a long six weeks.
“When you pushed me out of that hospital room was the day I heard about what happened to your mom. It was one of the worst days I’ve had this last year… and it’s been a rough year as you know.” He chuckles lightly. “But, Gabby, I knew you were hurting and I knew I just needed to give you space so I did. Granted, I still came up there every night just in case you decided you wanted me… but I couldn’t stay away, Gab.”
He walks back to the couch and sits back next to me, turning so he’s facing me.
“I’d love it,” he says, opening his closed fist to reveal my ring I so stupidly handed back. “If you would put this ring back on your finger, and never hand it back to me again.” He’s grinning a stupid grin and I can’t help but laugh at his way of proposing for the second time in a month.
“Well, when you put it that way, I can’t exactly turn it down, can I?” I laugh and hold out my finger so he can slip it on. It’s looser this time than it was when he first slid it on my finger.
“We need to get you some food, woman,” he grunts.
“Hey, B?” I ask as he stands up from the couch. “You know I’m not fully fixed, right? I mean… Just because I know I lost it at the hospital… I still have demons.” I know it’s dumb to have to remind him, but I don’t want him thinking that I’ve suddenly healed. She’s gone, but the memory of what happened that night will never leave me.
He grins at me.
“Babe, aren’t we all just a little bit crazy?” I get the famous Benton wink, and realize he knows exactly what I’m talking about.
I’m crazy, and he loves every bit of it.
Benton
Scared
“Goddamnit, I love you, Gabby,” I moan into her mouth, pushing my release into her. I could get used to these early mornings.
“Fuck, Benton,” she pants, biting down in my lip. Shit, that feels good. Grinding her hips up to meet me, I feel her tense and recognize the start of her orgasm start to explode around me. “Ah, fuck!”
She purrs and squeezes her eyes shut as her orgasm rips through her, trying her damndest to stay quiet, but it’s to no avail. I chuckle when she starts moaning louder as I pull out and taste myself on her while she rides out her release on my face.
Jesus, she tastes so fucking good, and I get to taste this every damn day for the rest of my life.
Crawling back up her body, she kisses me deeply, licking her taste off my tongue. Fuck, that’s hot.
“Mmm, baby,” I growl when she starts biting my neck. “Fuck, Gab. I gotta get moving.”
Her lips leave my neck and turn to a pout as I pull away from her and stand straight. Grinning down at the beautiful sight, I still can’t believe she’s all mine. I don’t know how we’ve made it through everything in one piece, but we’re stronger for it. The two of us, and Hannah, can get through anything, as long as we’re together.