Wyatt turned away from the door before his emotions got the better of him and he punched the messenger. He let his sister say good-bye to Terry. He just sat numbly on the couch and stared at the letter in his hand. Clay sat beside him, and it was one of the nice things about his best friend. He didn’t press anything. He simply let Wyatt digest that his life had just been shattered.
He was still staring at the letter an hour later when Jules spoke from her seat on the other side of him. “Are you gonna open it?”
He shook his head. “If I open it, that’ll mean it’s over.”
“I’m sorry, Wy Wy.” Jules wrapped an arm around him and leaned her forehead against his shoulder. She cried the tears he felt too dead inside to cry and then reached over and took it from him. “Do you want me to open it for you?”
“No, burn it instead.”
“Wyatt, you need to know what it says,” Clay finally broke his silence to say somberly. “If you don’t know, it’ll drive you crazy. We all need to know why she would do this. It’s like she betrayed all of us by turning to that crap. We need a good reason. There has to be one.”
He took it back from his sister, knowing Clay was probably right. He could hear the hurt in Clay’s voice, the absolute denial that this was happening. There was some clue in this envelope about why the girl he had loved for as long as he could remember would leave him over one fight.
It was a terrible fight, but still.
He stood and stuffed the envelope into his back pocket. “I’m going outside.”
“You want me to go with you?” Jules asked him and then wiped at her cheeks. “We’ll both go with you.”
“I know.” He nodded and gave her a weak smile. “But I think I should be by myself when I read it.”
“Okay.” She reached out to poke his side in a way that would have been playful any other day but today. “We’ll be here.”
He went out to the lake in back, remembering all the times he walked Tabitha from her car in the dead of night to get her up to his bedroom so they could laugh and love each other without anyone else in the world getting in the way. He sat down heavily on a rock by the embankment and used care to open the envelope when usually he would tear one open.
He pulled out the letter and stared down at it, willing some sort of peace for himself.
Wyatt,
Please be happy.
Love life like only you can.
Be amazing at everything you do.
Never stop being silly. I always loved you for it, even when I said I didn’t.
Letting me stay gone is your last gift to me, and I know in my heart you’ll give it to me. You said I could have anything. This is what I want.
I’m sorry. I know the moon would’ve been easier.
I will never, not until the day I stop breathing air, regret what we had together.
My childhood was beautiful because of you.
Thank you for staying a perfect memory,
Tabitha
Wyatt stared down at the letter until the words started to run. He realized he was crying again when he thought the tears had dried up days ago. He hated this letter. He abhorred it for containing the one thing that would keep him from going after her. He wanted to ball it up and throw it in the lake, but he couldn’t. This letter told him something happened. He could see through the lines, could read the intensity of it. The wild desperation on Tabitha’s part not to be found. What if it was something Wyatt couldn’t face? Worse, what if seeing him somehow reminded her of what she was trying to escape and pushed her to do something rash again? Jules said Tabitha made him stupid, and he knew his sister was usually right about most things. He just never expected that blind love and stupidity to damage Tabitha, but it had. He’d broken his own rule in life.
He didn’t want to hurt her. Not again. He would do anything to prevent it.
He folded it up and stuck it in the envelope instead. Then he slid his wedding ring off his finger and threw it into the lake in its place.
That was his final gift to Tabitha.
He never could say no to his girl.
Chapter Twenty-Six
August, 2000
New York City
“My brother could take that guy, you know? Just ’cause he got a technical knockout in the first round don’t mean nothing.”
Tabitha looked over at the kid sitting next to her in the bar. He was obviously Italian, with the New York accent to match. She instantly liked him. Her little nook of New York was mostly Italian, which was the reason she’d settled here after shopping for apartments for such a long time. They had a brassiness to them she appreciated.
It sort of reminded her of Wyatt.
“Oh yeah?” Tabitha turned in her stool and arched a skeptical eyebrow at him. “You sure ’bout that? He’s pretty badass. I saw him do a roundhouse off the cage once that’d knock your socks off.”
“Hell, my brother’s bigger than him.” He gestured to the television hanging over the bar that was broadcasting the UFC fight. “And he’s got a whole shitload of black belts. He could kick his ass blindfolded.”
“Your brother sounds like a scary guy. Does he know you’re hanging out in a bar?”
“Nah, what my brother doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He shrugged with a mischievous grin. “Besides, I got a reason for being here.”
“What’s your reason?”
“I’m taking care of business.”
Tabitha laughed, which was nice. She hadn’t laughed much since she’d left Wyatt.
“Nova, stop busting my customers’ balls,” the bartender said. “Shoo. Your brother will tan your hide if he finds out you’re hanging around here.”
“What, I can’t have a fucking conversation?” Nova held up his hands indignantly.
“He’s not bothering me,” Tabitha told the bartender. “He’s fine.”
“I like you, lady.” Nova nudged her arm. “What’s your name?”
“Tabitha.”
“Okay, Tabitha, so what’re you doing sitting here watching this bum win another fight?”
“I dunno.” Tabitha smiled up at the television, watching the after-fight footage from the UFC fight. She had been sitting there most of the afternoon, and now it was just replays and locker-room interviews, but she still enjoyed it. “Just remembering a dream, I guess. I’m a big fan.”
“Him.” Nova pointed at the TV once more. “The Deputy?”
“Yeah.” Tabitha nodded. “He’s amazing.”
“You gotta get out more.” Nova snorted. “He’s cheesy as hell.”
“He is,” Tabitha agreed with another laugh. “He’s silly. Totally crazy, but that’s always what I liked ’bout him. You want me to buy you a Coke?”
Nova shrugged. “Sure. My game doesn’t start for another hour.”
“What game you playing?”
“Poker.”
“Poker?” she repeated in disbelief. “What happened to football?”
“My ma’s sick. What kinda money do you think I’d make playing football? Unless I was betting on it, but you and me know that’s never a good bet. I like games I can win.”
“I’m sorry your mother’s sick,” Tabitha whispered softly.
“She’s gonna get better,” Nova said confidently. “I’m gonna pay for good doctors. Not these crackpot state doctors she’s forced to go to now. I’ve been researching her cancer. They got these new drugs that have a really high success rate. They’re testing them at the Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. I’m gonna get her there ’cause the doctors she’s got now are saying she’s only got a ten percent chance. That just can’t be right.”