• When new problems emerge, remain flexible enough to deal with them — without getting sidetracked. Each time you step up to a new problem, it should be by choice not by accident. Choose; don’t meander.
• When people feel unsafe, step out of the conversation, create safety, and then return.
• When people don’t deliver on a promise because “something came up,” deal with this inadequate excuse. Others need to let you know that plans may be changing as soon as they can.
• When a worse problem emerges, step out of the original problem, leave a bookmark so you’ll know where to return, and then start over with the new problem. Once you’ve dealt with the emergent problem, return to the original issue.
• When others become upset, retrace their Path to Action to the original source. Talking about the facts helps dissipate the emotions and takes you to the place where you can resolve the problem.
What Next?
You’ve dealt with the emergent problem — you’ve returned to and solved the original problem — and now how do you make sure that you end well? Instead of abruptly halting or fading into oblivion, what can you do to ensure that the effort you’ve made to hold others accountable will lead to action? That’s what we’ll explore in the next chapter.
Part Three
Move to Action
What to Do After an Accountability Crucial Conversation
You’ve talked about broken commitments that are blocking performance — whether the barriers are due to motivation, ability, or both — and come up with a few ideas that will lead to a solution. Now it’s time to take these ideas and move to action.
Here’s what accountability experts do after the conversation to ensure that the problem doesn’t keep showing up like a bad penny:
• The best at managing accountability create a complete plan. They build a solid foundation by being specific about what comes next. This includes who does what by when and follow-up (Chapter 7, “Agree on a Plan and Follow Up”).
• They piece together all the theories and skills into a complete accountability discussion. They carry a model in their heads and apply it to difficult interpersonal challenges (Chapter 8, “Put It All Together”).
• In summary, we’ll take a look at how the principles and skills we’ve learned apply to some very common and complicated issues (Chapter 9, “The 12 ‘Yeah-Buts’”).
7
Agree on a Plan and Follow Up
How to Gain Commitment and Move to Action
Never grow a wishbone … where your backbone ought to be.
— CLEMENTINE PADDLEFORD
By now you’ve done a lot of work. You noted a violated expectation and decided to talk openly about the gap. You told yourself the whole story and took care to step up to the right issue. You then worked hard to deal with both motivation and ability issues. You even dealt with a new problem, used your bookmark, and then solved the original disappointment. Jointly, you found solutions that seemed promising. Good job!
But don’t exhale too quickly. The way you complete the interaction is as important as the way you start it. If you do this well, you build commitment and establish a foundation for accountability. If you don’t finish the job — if you swap your backbone for a wishbone — you set yourself up for a whole new set of problems. Let’s look at some of these challenges and then explore the skills and tools that accountability experts use to plan and follow up.
Certain bad endings are so common that after you hear no more than a sentence and a half, the whole messy situation comes to mind. For instance, see how long it takes before you can identify where these interactions are headed.
How Good Is Your Crystal Ball?
At the end of last week’s meeting, Jane said to Joe, “So you’ll get the report done?”
“Absolutely,” Joe exclaimed, mentally figuring how to fit another assignment onto a plateful of tasks so overflowing that it was starting to interfere with his bowling.
A week passes, and Jane is at the door: “I needed that report yesterday afternoon. Can I have it now?”
“Now? I had that scheduled for next week,” Joe laments.
Jane responds by rolling her eyes: “You must have known I needed it.”
Joe hates that eye thing and responds under his breath, “My crystal ball was at the cleaners.”
“What was that?” Jane asks, raising her voice.
“Nothing,” Joe grunts.
“You said something!” Jane accuses him.
“I said ‘My eye is on the ball,’ and I mean it!” Joe lies.
What Exactly Is Creativity?
During a formal review discussion, Barb talked to her direct report Johnson about being more creative. Her exact words were, “During the next quarter I want you to use more creativity. You know, come up with more ideas on your own.”
In an effort to be more creative, Johnson did indeed come up with more ideas on his own, just as requested. That was the good news. The bad news was that he also implemented many of his ideas without involving Barb or anyone else. He interpreted the request to be more creative as permission to do pretty much whatever he pleased.
When Barb eventually learned that Johnson had changed the company’s entire inventory system and hadn’t given her so much as a heads-up, she blew a gasket and told him that he had gone well beyond his authority. He responded by arguing that he was just trying to be “more creative” and now she was taking him to task for doing what she had asked him to do all along.
Must We Play Word Games?
Dad is stewing. It’s a sultry summer night, and for the last hour and a half he has been staring at the clock. During that time he has tried very hard not to get angry. It’s now 1:24 a.m., and his daughter opens the door. Dad shouts, “Shelly, you’re really late!”
“No, I’m not, Dad. Last week my friend Sarah didn’t come home until nine the next morning; that’s really late.”
“Don’t be smart-mouthed with me!” Dad retorts. “You’re supposed to be in by midnight, and you’ve been coming in late all month.”
“You’re right,” Shelly says with a sly smile. “I have been coming in at about 1 a.m. for a month, ever since my birthday. And you haven’t said one thing about it at all until now. I thought it was okay.”
Dad comes back with his best quip: “Well, ah, ah, hmmm …”
DON’T ASSUME
How long did it take before you recognized the problem in these examples? Jane and Joe made a sketchy plan. Without their agreeing on a specific deadline, that plan was doomed from the get-go. They had to play “read my mind” or “take my best guess.”
Johnson and Barb faced a different problem. The assignment included who was going to do what by when, but the details about the what were not clear. She told him to be creative, but that term is far too subjective. Once again, an accident waiting to happen.
Finally, Dad and daughter represent still another issue. By not confronting his daughter for coming in late (following up on a previous agreement) for several days running, he let Shelly assume that what she was doing must have been okay. Like it or not, Dad had given his tacit approval. At least that was what Shelly thought.
Nailing Jell-O