Amanda Dunn had spent two months in Holloway for a minor offence. She was bullied throughout her stay and had come to Janet to be patched up on a couple of occasions. She quickly saw that Amanda was weak, easily manipulated and destined to make terrible mistake after terrible mistake. Regardless, she always had hopeful eyes. This is what Janet recognised through the disguise she wore when visiting Middleton. Here she was again, doing the bidding of a murderer. If they thought someone else was involved in Middleton’s death, it wouldn’t be Janet they homed in on. It would be Amanda.
Janet looked at her watch. She was on early evening duty, delivering medication from their secure annexe, and the prisoners were starting to line up in the corridor before, one by one, they came to the small security booth, protected by a Perspex screen with an open stainless-steel section for the medication to be passed through in small paper cups. The evening deliveries often ended in violent arguments as prisoners complained that their dosages of painkillers had been lowered, or they were no longer being prescribed sleeping tablets.
Janet was ready for Middleton with his cup containing the weaker painkillers prescribed since his ‘overdose’.
‘Rodney, we’re putting you on a lower dose of the same medication to see how it deals with your back pain. If it doesn’t help, then you will need an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow.’
Middleton kicked the base of the booth and the officer standing by took a step closer.
‘You take these for tonight, Rodney, and see how you go.’ Janet passed him the small paper cup containing two large white capsules, then handed him a paper cone-shaped cup with water. She watched Middleton tip the capsules into his mouth, sip the water and then open his mouth and lift his tongue to show they’d been swallowed.
‘Thank you, Rodney.’
Middleton leered at her before he turned away to be taken back to his cell. The next prisoner stepped up, and Janet continued dishing out the meds. She would be off duty in another few hours, knowing that Josh would call for an update as he always did each evening. Just thinking about him made her come out in a sweat, but so far, it was going to plan. She had five more days to slowly up the dosage before administering the fatal one.
Jack knew he would be in for a grilling from Maggie as he’d been gone nearly all afternoon. But when he walked into the kitchen, excuses at the ready, there was another sort of drama going on. Hannah was having a major meltdown, screaming and crying, thrashing about on the floor.
‘She’s been like this since we told her she can’t have a puppy, so you can take over, Jack, because we are both drained,’ Maggie said.
Hannah kicked out with her legs, her head buried in her arms, wailing. Jack squatted down beside her, relieved he wasn’t being interrogated about his absence. Hannah slowly lifted her head, her eyes red-rimmed from crying, her cheeks puffy. When she saw Jack, she lifted both arms to wrap around him.
‘You said I could have a puppy, didn’t you, Daddy?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You did. You said when I’m older. And I’m older now. You promised. You did. Yes you did!’
Jack had never seen his little daughter in such a ferocious temper. She was definitely beyond the point of no return as she flailed with both arms, her hands bunched in little fists, trying her best to punch him.
‘I hate you!’
Jack rolled away from her, curling up and howling,
‘That hurt me, you hurt me, how could you be so nasty to me.’
Hannah crawled over to him, and, to his astonishment, she gave him another punch. He had thought she would be devastated to think she had hurt her daddy, but clearly that was not the case. He jumped up and scooped her into his arms. She struggled and screamed, kicking him in the nuts, almost making him drop her as he marched into the hall. Holding her under one arm, he managed to open the new closet that Marius had built under the stairs and pushed Hannah inside as she let loose with a screaming howl. Jack drew the small bolt across the door as Hannah let loose a screaming howl, banging and kicking at the closed door.
‘Listen to me, Hannah. You will stay in there until you are quiet, and I will not let you out until you have apologised.’
There was silence and then a pitiful wailing as Hannah screamed for her mummy. Then, between sobs, she said she was sorry. Jack felt something suddenly swamping him, a memory of darkness that consumed and terrified him. The cries from inside the cupboard brought everything flooding back as he pulled the bolt back and lifted his daughter out. He remained on his knees, rocking her in his arms, asking over and over for her to forgive him, promising he would never ever lock her in there again. She clung to him, exhausted, pressing her face into his neck as she gradually calmed.
‘I’m sorry, Daddy, I don’t want a puppy anymore.’
‘Listen to me, Hannah, I am sorry. One day I promise you will have a puppy.’ He lifted her in his arms and she smiled, kissing him frantically.
‘I love you, Daddy,’ she said, bright-eyed.
‘I love you more,’ he said, his voice cracking.
His heart raced as she wriggled out of his arms, as if the incident had been instantly forgotten, and ran up the stairs. He slowly felt his heart rate slowing, his breathing steadying as he entered the dining room, closed the door, slumped in an easy chair and put his head in his hands.
Jack had been in the same position for ten minutes before Maggie walked in. ‘Well, you’ve done it now, promising Hannah a puppy. Penny and I have been adamant about telling her she can’t have one. Why on earth did you tell her she could...’
Jack sat back in the chair and Maggie knew instinctively something was very wrong. She quickly went to him and bent forward, looking into his face.
‘What is it, Jack? You’re shaking.’
He sighed. ‘I just did an unforgivable thing. When Hannah punched and kicked me, I grabbed her and chucked her into the closet under the stairs. I locked her in.’
‘Oh God Jack, that was... So, it was a guilt promise from you. Not exactly teaching her the right way to behave, is it?’
‘You don’t understand,’ he said, turning away, his chest heaving.
She sat beside him, taking his hand. He tried to pull it away, but she tightened her grip.
‘Tell me what it is, Jack. Explain to me what happened to make you like this.’
He remained silent for a long time, leaning against her shoulder, trying to find the right words. Something buried deep inside him had just been released, a torment he had never allowed to surface until now. Just as he had calmed Hannah, gently rocking her in his arms, Maggie now cradled him with both her arms around him, his head still buried in her shoulder.
His voice sounded hoarse when he eventually started to talk, as if each word caused him pain. He was at the care home, no more than four or five, when it started. He recalled how he cried for his mother, not wanting to eat or sleep, and that was when the punishment had started. Jack had been locked in a cupboard in the cellar of the old house, for hours and hours, left in the dank darkness, and if, when he was eventually released, he continued to be disobedient, he would be beaten. He could not recollect how long the terror had dominated his life, always afraid of being shut away, and that he would never be let out.
‘Dear God, how long did this go on for?’ Maggie asked.
‘Until I was fostered. Not many families wanted a boy my age, especially one they thought had mental health issues. Mum and Dad saved me, and for the first time I was shown love. I had never known any kind of affection, and for a long time, I was terrified they would send me back. So, I always tried to be a good boy.’ Jack sighed, unable to believe what he had done to his daughter.