By the time Maggie returned, Jack was asleep and, not wanting to disturb him, she reluctantly left him on the bathroom floor for the night. She wanted him with her, needed him. But he wasn’t ready.
Maggie was up and dragging on her dressing gown in the morning when Jack emerged sheepishly from the bathroom, looking dreadful.
‘I’ll just feed him, then make us some breakfast. You grab a shower, and I’ll order an Uber to take you to the clinic.’
‘I’m sorry about last night.’ Jack’s voice had little life to it. Being so out of control of his own actions had drained him.
Maggie wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. She felt so sorry for him. ‘They will get this sorted. You’ll be back to your normal self in no time.’
‘I hope so because I can’t go on like this... and it’s not fair on you. I’m completely knackered, and my head feels like it’s going to explode.’
Jack looked better after his shower, but he hardly touched the bacon and eggs Maggie had prepared. He was very attentive to Hannah, who was eating a bowl of cornflakes and splashing milk around her plastic mat that covered the gingham tablecloth. Jack did a shocked face every time a splash of milk came his way, and it made Hannah laugh.
Penny and Maggie were discussing different formulas for the baby, as he had vomited after the one Maggie tried the day before. She was still breastfeeding as much as possible, but she knew it wasn’t enough.
‘Can you see if you can find one with a low iron content?’ Maggie asked.
As Penny made a note so she wouldn’t forget, she was also side-eyeing Jack. She’d heard him scream out during the night, as he had done on many other occasions. But although he looked all right now, she wasn’t going to ask him about it. He’d been short-tempered with her whenever she broached the subject, so she was now leaving it all to Maggie.
The Uber arrived and Jack would have left without his overnight bag if Maggie hadn’t handed it to him. It was a routine goodbye, as though he was just off on a work trip. Maggie didn’t fuss, didn’t wish him good luck. She closed the front door and controlled the tears before heading back to the kitchen.
‘Do you think they’ll be able to help him?’ Penny asked.
‘God, I hope so. On top of everything else, he’s had terrible headaches lately. They’ll give him an MRI scan to see...’ She saw the shock on Penny’s face, so quickly put on her doctor’s voice, kind but clear. ‘It’s a good thing, Penny. There’s family history of brain tumours on his mum’s side?’ Penny nodded. ‘Then we need to rule that out.’
Maggie was sorry for bringing it up. To all intents and purposes, Penny was Jack’s mother, having adopted him when he was just a toddler. Pouring a fresh cup of coffee, Maggie sat at the table, lifted Penny’s hand and kissed it. She whispered so Hannah couldn’t hear.
‘I’m sorry for asking, Penny. I’m just worried about Jack. His nightmares and insomnia started during that recent murder trial, so that could be the reason. Or the stress of that could have triggered a physical issue. It could even be depression or anxiety. But he avoids talking about it, and I don’t actually think he wants to return to work. I want to talk to Simon Ridley, you know, his old boss, but he seems to have disappeared. He was a mentor to Jack... what with all the pressure of the baby, I wish he had a man to confide in.’
‘Well, let’s hope the sleep clinic can help,’ Penny said, trying to be positive. ‘And we can distract ourselves by taking Hannah to get her school uniform later. It’s a special morning when parents can look at second-hand uniforms. I put it in the kitchen diary.’
‘Sorry, I forgot all about it,’ Maggie said. ‘I’ll come with you. And there’s something I haven’t told you... I think we’ve almost agreed on a name for the baby. What do you think about Adam?’
Hannah pushed a half-eaten slice of toast away, got down from the table, and clung to Penny’s arm as she sipped the dregs of her coffee and frowned.
‘Adam?’
‘Yes, we think it sounds good with our surname. It’s sort of a deal I had to make, so Jack can’t call him Horatio — that’ll be his middle name.’
Penny couldn’t hide her disappointment. ‘I thought he was going to call him after his dad.’
Maggie pushed her chair back, not wanting an argument. It was obvious Penny didn’t like Adam. ‘Right, I am going to get me and the baby dressed. Then we’ll all go to get your new uniform, Hannah.’
Penny whispered to Hannah. ‘What do you think of calling your baby brother Adam?’
Hannah shook her head vehemently. ‘No. Bob SquarePants!’
Once they were ready, Maggie put the baby in his car seat and waited for Penny and Hannah to join her. She was thinking of talking to Penny about getting an au pair, but knew she would have to tread carefully as Penny was very protective of her position in the household. However, the original idea that Penny would learn to drive had not been successful and after a couple of lessons, she had decided against it. So hiring an au pair who could drive would make sense. Whether it would be a live-in situation would also have to be discussed, but they would have room when the loft extension was done.
Jack was in the process of having an MRI scan at the clinic before meeting a therapist to discuss his sleep disorder. He would have further tests throughout the day then be left in a room to monitor his sleep pattern. He was calm, quite enjoying the attention and hopeful of a positive outcome.
It was early evening when Maggie received Jack’s text and selfie. He was standing by the bed in his boxer shorts, with an alarming array of wires attached to his head, torso and legs. His text said that he’d had the MRI and was now expected to go to sleep with hundreds of wires forcing him to stay on his back and a nurse spying on him via a camera link. He was certain that the whole procedure would be a waste of time.
The picture made Maggie laugh. She texted back, saying she hoped he didn’t get an electric shock and ending with, ‘I love you very much.’
That night, Penny had the baby monitor and would see to the baby. So, for the first time in months, Maggie slept straight through.
The following morning, Penny had taken Hannah to the park and Maggie had just settled the baby down for his morning sleep when Jack arrived home. He called out and she hurried down the stairs to greet him. He put his overnight bag and a second larger bag down in the kitchen and hugged her.
‘How did it go?’
He flicked the kettle on. ‘Like I thought... a waste of bloody time. I hardly slept, and when I did, all they recorded was me snoring and my eyes twitching. They’ve given me something called Melatonin, but if it doesn’t help, I may have to go back for another sleepover. On the plus side, they gave me a two-week sick note — sorry, “fit note” — due to lack of sleep and stress.’
‘What’s in the other bag?’
‘A CPAP machine.’ Jack opened the bag and put the machine on the worktop. ‘Continuous Patient... something.’
‘Continuous Positive Airway Pressure,’ Maggie said, having seen patients using them many times. ‘So did they say you could have sleep apnoea?’ Jack’s nod was uncertain, and Maggie knew that he hadn’t listened properly. ‘This pumps a continuous flow of air through a long tube attached to a breathing mask.’
Jack found the mask and put it on, making Maggie laugh out loud. He spoke in a Darth Vader voice: ‘Follow me to the dark side, Maggie Warr.’
Maggie hugged him. ‘I’d follow you anywhere, Jack Warr.’
Jack took the mask off so he could kiss her.