“The fact that you would describe him as strong makes me incredibly happy. That boy couldn’t hammer a straight nail to save his life. He was absolutely miserable as my apprentice, and I was afraid I was going to lose him. I didn’t think he would make it in the army, he just seemed too fragile. Then he discovered magic and everything changed. All the things I thought were weaknesses became strengths.”
“That’s probably not uncommon. I think parents are often too close to see their children for who they really are. Then, when they grow up and begin life on their own, you get to see them the way they are, not just the way you want them to be.”
“It sounds like you’ve had a lot of experience,” Quinn said. “Were you married?”
“No, I never married, never had a family,” she said wistfully. “My parents both passed away when I was just coming of age. I had apprenticed with my father, unofficially of course, but I was a daddy’s girl. I was learning how to care for animals when I was just a toddler. By the time I was finishing up essentials school I could do most of the work my father did. Then, when they passed away, I just kept his practice going. People kept bringing their sick or injured animals, and when they got the results they wanted, they didn’t question what I could do.”
“But you never fell in love?” Quinn asked. “I find it hard to believe that none of the young men in Felson found you attractive. I think you’re beautiful.”
Miriam looked down, blushing. She wasn’t used to someone treating her like a woman. She had spent most of her life trying to be seen as the equal of any man. She could shoe a horse, set broken bones, and help any number of animals give birth. Romance had always been a distant, impractical dream.
“Most men aren’t looking for a wife with a career,” Miriam said sadly. “I was too busy to be of much interest to most boys. There were a few that came snooping around, but they were lazy louts that only cared about drinking, and they thought marrying me would mean they could lay around all day doing nothing.”
“It seems like that’s all you want me to do,” Quinn teased, but then burst into a fit of coughing.
“That serves you right,” Miriam said in a mocking tone when Quinn had finished coughing.
“That isn’t funny,” he said, panting and holding his side. “I think I broke a rib that time.”
“Nah,” Miriam said. “Your ribs are fine. That’s just the meanness coming out of you.”
“Seriously,” Quinn said, looking at her. “I’m interested, and I’m not just looking for a free ride.”
“That’s hard to believe while I’m driving this wagon.”
“Well, believe it. I don’t know what you want in life, Miriam, but I know what I want. I want to be where you are. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make that happen. I’ve given Zollin all the help I can give him. Once I make sure that he knows Mansel is leading him into a trap, I’m through.”
“What about Prince Wilam?” Miriam asked.
“That’s the King’s problem.”
“And if the King calls on you again?”
“I’ve served my country. I’ve taken care of my family. Now it’s time for me to get what I want. And what I want is you.”
“Don’t beat around the bush,” she said, blushing. “Tell me how you really feel.”
“I feel like the luckiest man in the world when I’m with you.”
“Quinn, you hardly know me,” she argued.
“And I can’t wait to learn everything about you. I haven’t been with anyone else since my wife died. I thought that part of my life was over. I just didn’t care for anyone else, but all that changed when I met you.”
Miriam didn’t reply. She was driving the wagon with her head down, letting the horses find their own way. It was getting late and she knew she needed to begin looking for a place to make camp for the night, but it was difficult to think about anything clearly. She had given up hope of ever finding a partner in life. When she had been young she had thrown herself into her craft. Animals were her passion, and without her father to find a suitable match, she had thought that she would always be alone.
“There’s a farm up ahead,” Quinn said. “Might be a good place to make camp for the night.”
Miriam looked up. There was a farmhouse and a small stable. It looked like the perfect place to rest for the evening. And she realized that she needed time to consider her feelings. It had been exciting to see Quinn again. She had felt an instant connection to him when they had met months before, but then Quinn had been sent to Osla, and Miriam had been busy in Felson. She had almost forgotten the way she felt until she saw Quinn at her door. Even though he looked sick, all her feelings had come rushing back to her. His insistence on continuing his quest to find Zollin had propelled her into action. She couldn’t let him go alone, and to be honest, she had been excited by the prospect of spending time with him, but now she had to decide what was best for her future. Quinn obviously had strong feelings for her, but it could merely be infatuation. She needed to set the record straight with Quinn. No matter how much fun being with him was, she was too old for romance. She had responsibilities in Felson, and Quinn had responsibilities to the King.
“I’ll see if we can make camp here for the night,” she told Quinn.
She went to the farmhouse and was greeted warmly by the people inside. The farmer went out to make space for them in the small barn. He had only one milk cow, so there was room for Miriam to bed down their horses for the night. She decided to make camp under a large oak tree, where she spread out their blankets and started a fire. The farmer’s wife brought them food, a hearty stew, and some ale. Quinn drank his medicinal brew and soaked his bread in the thick stew.
They had just finished eating when Miriam decided she couldn’t wait any longer. She was afraid of her feelings, and going home would be simpler. She could return to life the way it had always been. That was the prudent thing to do, she told herself.
“Quinn,” she said softly, just loud enough to be heard over the crackling of their small fire. “I don’t think I can go with you to Orrock. I think I need to go home.”
“Oh,” Quinn said, unsure what Miriam was hinting at.
“I’ve enjoyed being with you, but you’re on the mend now, and I’ve got responsibilities in Felson.”
“Yes, of course you do,” he said, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
“I mean, what are we really doing here? We don’t know each other. We have completely different lives.”
“What are you trying to say, Miriam?”
“I’m saying, this just isn’t going to work.”
“What isn’t?” he asked.
“Us. . you and me. We’re from two different worlds. You know the King; I’m an animal healer. You travel all across the Five Kingdoms and this is as far from Felson as I’ve ever been.”
“So? All that matters is how we feel,” Quinn said.
He felt as if an emotional knife were being twisted in his stomach. His body ached from his racking cough, but that pain was nothing compared to what he felt as he heard Miriam say she was leaving.
“Quinn, we both know that feelings come and go. We can’t base our future on feelings that could change tomorrow.”
“My feelings won’t change,” Quinn said.
“You don’t know that.”
“I meant what I said. Once I find Zollin I’m going back to Felson. I’m not giving up.”
“We’ll see,” was all she managed to say. “I better go check on the horses.”
She hurried to the barn, and Quinn was left alone. He wanted to go after her, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. Miriam had made up her mind, and words wouldn’t change it. It was one of the things he admired about her. She put more stock in action than words, just as he did. The only thing he could do was to complete his task and then make good on his promise.
Miriam was gone for over an hour. When she finally came back, Quinn was lying down but not asleep.
“I think I can pull the wagon with just Ajax,” she said, referring to one of her horses. “You can take Meela on to Orrock or wherever you need to go.”