Quinn didn’t respond right away. He was tired and knew he needed at least a little rest, but he had some things to say before he went to sleep.
“Miriam, I’m sorry if I’ve put you in an awkward position. That was never my intention. I do have strong feelings for you, but I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable. If you want to go back to Felson, I won’t stop you. I have to go on and find Zollin, and I know you understand that. But I will come back to Felson, because I want to be near you. I want to get to know you better. I want to show you that I’m sincere in my feelings. Nothing is going to change that.”
Miriam didn’t answer, and Quinn was worried he’d said too much. He lay on his back and looked up at the stars through the leafy branches of the big oak they were camped under. The fire had died down and the nocturnal insects were singing. It was a peaceful moment, but neither Miriam nor Quinn felt at peace.
“I just think it’s for the best,” she said at last.
“All right,” Quinn said, his heart aching. “Be careful going home. I’ll see you as soon as I can.”
Quinn had never expected to feel the pain of heartbreak again. It was like a dark cloud had enveloped him, and he felt as if he would never be okay again. He rolled onto his side and tried to sleep.
Miriam was sad too, but she was also afraid. She had been practical all her life. She had learned to be responsible when her parents died, and she had been forced to fend for herself. For years she had been afraid, especially at night. She would bolt the doors and windows, even on the hottest summer nights, and lay quaking in bed. Finally, she had grown used to being alone, and now she was afraid of what a future with Quinn might entail. What if he discovered that she was not the person he wanted to be with? What if there was something about her that was somehow wrong and that he would discover as they got closer? She didn’t want to turn her life upside down only to be crushed if Quinn changed his mind. Being practical had seen her through a life of hardship, and she saw no reason to change now, no matter how badly it hurt her.
It was a few hours before dawn when Quinn woke up coughing. The ground seemed to be filled with stones under his blanket, and even though he ached all over, he decided to get up and leave. He checked on Miriam. She was sleeping, or at least pretending to sleep. It was difficult to leave without saying goodbye, but he thought it might actually be easier than seeing her face grow stiff with resolve and bid him farewell in some formal way that would make him feel like a stranger.
He rolled his blanket and gathered his canteen. He stuffed into his belt the packet of herbs the healer had given Miriam to use when making his medicinal drink. There was some salted beef and hard crusted bread, which he carried with him to the barn and put into one of the saddle bags they carried in the wagon. All their tack was neatly arranged behind the seat of the wagon. Quinn hefted his and carried it into the barn. Meela was an older mare, but she was surefooted and happy to see him. She nickered softly as he approached.
“Hi girl, ready for a ride?”
The horse bobbed her head as if to say yes. He arranged a blanket on her back, then set the saddle on top of the blanket and adjusted the straps that wrapped around her stomach. He fit the bridle over her head and put the bit into her mouth, then lead her out into the cool night air. He was chilled, but he knew it wouldn’t take long to get warm riding. He stopped one last time and looked back at the campsite. Miriam was still lying down, not moving. It took a great amount of strength to climb onto the horse and leave Miriam behind, but that had been her choice.
He rode out as the stars twinkled in the sky and the moon quietly set. It would be light in a couple of hours, he estimated. He wanted to be as far away as possible when Miriam awoke. He wanted to complete his task and return to her, to prove his feelings were real and that he was someone she could count on.
When dawn came, Miriam rolled over and saw that Quinn was gone. She had expected as much. She knew he was the kind of man who kept his word. She had fully expected him to leave as soon as he could. But she hadn’t been prepared for the way his leaving made her feel. She couldn’t help but think that she had made a mistake. Perhaps Quinn had been her chance for happiness, and now he was gone. He might never return. She hated the thought of going home and waiting, not knowing if Quinn was hurt, or even dead, but she had made up her mind. Going home had been her choice. She had pushed him back onto his dangerous path alone. She had to live with that decision now.
She got up and began breaking camp. Quinn had taken his own blanket and supplies when he left, so there was very little for Miriam to do. She was hungry, but she decided she would be fine eating their dry rations on the road. She wanted to get home as soon as possible, where perhaps she wouldn’t feel so guilty, she hoped.
She was walking around the farmhouse with Ajax, who was pulling the wagon, when the farmer stepped out to greet her.
“I hope you had a good evening,” he said.
“Oh, we did, thank you.”
“Where’s your man?”
“He set out before dawn,” she explained. “I’m going back home to Felson.”
“Oh, no. I wish I’d known he was leaving so early. I have a message that needs to be delivered to Orrock.”
“I’m sorry, he would have been happy to deliver it,” she said.
“It isn’t my message. Here, read it.”
He handed her the small piece of paper. As she read her eyes went wide.
“Is this true?” she asked.
“We buried him ourselves. He was with a group of soldiers, and they rode off when they saw the dragon. We found him a couple hours later, stabbed in the stomach and left for dead. He lived a few more hours. There’s not a healer within a day’s ride or we’d have sent for help.”
“I’ve got to go,” Miriam said, fear straining her voice.
“Oh, okay,” the farmer said.
“I’ll deliver the message.”
“Are you sure?” the farmer asked.
“Yes, I have to do it. Will you keep this wagon until I return?”
“Sure, be glad to do it. Here, let me help you unhitch it.”
Moments later she was charging down the road after Quinn.
Chapter 29
Zollin and Mansel were given a tiny room with two narrow beds that was located in the military compound just inside the walls of Orrock City. They immediately went to sleep. They were roused an hour before dawn, and both men washed themselves using small basins that were provided for them. The water was cold, but neither complained. They had traveled hard, and it was the first time either had been able to wash in a long time. When they were dressed they emerged from their room with their gear, preparing to set out at first light, but instead they were met by Commander Hausey.
“The King is back,” he said to Zollin. “He’s asking for you.”
“All right, lead the way.”
The city was already crowded. Many of the people from the surrounding villages had now moved their belongings inside the city walls. They slept wherever they could find space. The streets were clogged with people, most still sleeping, wrapped in blankets and huddling along the buildings for what little shelter they provided. The military compound was in a part of the city Zollin had never visited, but the castle was easily the tallest building in Orrock, and he could have found his way to the royal residence without Hausey to guide him.
Mansel followed Zollin, although his presence wasn’t requested, and he didn’t relish seeing the King. Felix had sent Mansel and Quinn to escort Prince Wilam home from Osla, but they had made it only as far as Lodenhime. The King would want answers, and Mansel didn’t want anything to keep him from being able to return with Zollin as soon as possible. Gwendolyn wouldn’t be pleased if he arrived leading a legion of troops.