‘Where’ve you been?’ I asked Leanne. ‘What on earth made you leave her? Why here?’
Leanne continued to cradle her daughter, swinging her hips slightly from side to side.
‘What’s going on?’ Ray came in, still in his pyjamas.
Leanne opened her eyes. ‘Cool jim-jams.’ She nodded.
‘Leanne,’ I tried to stay on track, ‘I didn’t even know it was you. Why didn’t you explain?’ I looked over to Ray. ‘Leanne, Jamie’s mother.’
‘Lola,’ Leanne corrected. She patted the baby’s bottom. ‘What’s she wearing?’
‘Reusable nappy,’ I said.
‘Ugh, gross.’ She curled her lip.
‘Where’ve you been, Leanne?’
‘You know her?’ Ray asked me.
‘She was a friend of J.B. – the guy who had Digger.’ J.B., a homeless lad himself, had been a kind friend to Leanne and other homeless youngsters. He had been killed when he got too close to the paedophile ring I was investigating. I found his body.
‘You kept Digger.’ Leanne nodded. Then her face altered: sudden worry again. ‘He all right with the baby?’
‘Keeps out of the way,’ I said. ‘Why didn’t you come in and tell me what was going on? Instead of just leaving a note. I’d no idea who the baby was, who’d left her.’
‘You might have turned us down,’ she said with a shrug. ‘And I put my name on, anyway.’
‘It was illegible,’ said Ray coldly.
‘Sorry,’ she said, sounding anything but.
‘Why leave her?’ I asked.
‘It’s complicated,’ she said.
Ray sat down in one of the armchairs; he looked horribly serious. ‘So, explain,’ he said.
‘Go on.’ I sat on the sofa.
Leanne sighed. ‘I had to make myself disappear for a bit. I didn’t know where I’d end up. I couldn’t take her with me.’
‘Why did you have to disappear?’ Ray asked.
‘Who’s he?’ Leanne complained to me. She was a teenager still, trying to play us off against each other.
‘Answer the question, Leanne.’
‘This bloke, he’s bad news, he won’t take no for an answer. He’s been inside and he was coming out, expecting to play happy families.’
I heard Ray groan, dismayed at the scenario.
‘He’s your boyfriend?’ I asked her.
‘Was. For, like, five minutes. I didn’t want him near her.’
My heart sank. It sounded like Leanne was still stuck in the same murky, dangerous world as when I’d last known her.
‘Why me?’ I asked.
She shifted Lola to the other shoulder. ‘He never knew about you – wouldn’t have a clue. Anyone else, he might have guessed. You helped us out before,’ she said gruffly, a wash of colour in her cheeks.
‘How did you know I was still here?’
‘The phone call about energy suppliers?’ She smirked. I’d a dim recollection, a cold call.
‘You hung up on me halfway through the spiel. And you’re in the Yellow Pages so I knew you were still in business. So I brought Lola here, then I kept moving.’
‘Where did you go?’ I asked.
‘Seaside. Friggin’ cold.’
‘Where did you sleep?’
‘Wherever.’ She raised Lola up, held her by the waist and let her fly, arms extended like a little astronaut.
‘Outside?’ Ray clarified.
Leanne shot him a pitying look and lowered Lola.
‘Won’t he still be looking for you?’ I was worried for her, for the baby.
‘Nah. He got into a scrap on Saturday night, glassed this bloke. He’s out on licence so he goes straight back in.’ She smiled, lowered Lola and held her on one hip. I thought of Chloe Beswick, managing with her kids, planning her brother’s funeral.
‘So, where are you living?’ I said.
‘Been over in Leeds for a while. I’m on the list for a place; they say it could be eighteen months. I’m at a mate’s, on the couch. Her bloke’s fed up with us being there so I might have to find somewhere else. She been all right for you, then?’
‘You don’t seem to have any idea of the trouble you’ve caused.’ Ray spoke; I could tell from his tone that he was furious.
‘What trouble?’ Leanne’s lip curled.
‘Ray,’ I tried to interrupt, calm him down. I knew Leanne’s apparent recklessness; her insouciance was as much a front as anything else. Lecturing her would only provoke more of the same.
‘What if we’d gone to the authorities?’ he demanded.
‘Well, you didn’t, did you?’ she flung back at him.
‘If it had been up to me-’
‘Well, I didn’t leave her with you, I left her with Sal. Wouldn’t leave a bloody goldfish with someone like you.’
They were squaring up like dogs for a fight.
‘And now you expect us to watch you pick up the baby and sail off, God knows where, sleeping on the streets with her.’ He got to his feet.
Leanne jabbed a finger at him. ‘You don’t know anything about me, mate, so keep your nose out.’
‘Can you look after her? Properly?’ he challenged.
‘Ray, please-’ I tried.
‘Yes, I bloody can. I left her here, didn’t I, to keep her safe. She’s never had to sleep on the streets, she’s never gone hungry. I look after her.’ She was worked up, shouting. Lola was beginning to whimper. I didn’t want Leanne storming out, for the whole thing to collapse into a slanging match.
‘Of course you can,’ I said steadily. ‘Let’s just calm down. Look, you’d like a cup of tea, something to eat?’
Ray made a blurting sound. I ignored him.
‘Yeah, ta.’ She patted Lola again, whispering to her, turning her back on Ray.
‘Ray?’ I nodded to him to get out and make the tea. I thought he’d combust. ‘I’d like to talk to Leanne in private. What’d you like?’ I asked her. ‘Beans egg, toast?’
‘Yeah, ta.’
Ray gave a hollow laugh. ‘You want to feed her, you make it.’ He strode out of the room.
Leanne swung round, raised her eyebrows to me. ‘Knobhead,’ she said.
‘So, how are you doing, really?’ I said quietly.
‘Fine.’
‘Leanne,’ I said gently, ‘it can’t have been easy-’
She sat on the floor, settled Lola on her back between her legs so the child could see her face, Leanne held the baby’s feet, rubbed her thumbs against the small soles. ‘It hasn’t, but soon as I was expecting I got myself sorted, cleaned up.’
‘You were using?’ I tried to keep any censure from my voice.
‘Just pills. Not now, though. Nothing since, well… a bit of weed. I’m not going to mess this up.’ She met my eyes, a moment’s direct honesty. ‘You know what happened to me,’ she reminded me. She paused for a fraction, the bitter history hung in the air. ‘Well, I did a parenting course,’ she said. ‘There’s this project in Leeds. It’s good. I’m gonna do an access course when she’s bigger. I’m going to do right by her.’
I believed her. Or at least I believed the desire behind it. Whether she’d be able to overcome the weight of her past, change the fate she had been dealt and reinvent her life was impossible to guess. ‘What would you like to do?’
‘Youth work,’ she said, quick as a flash. ‘Have to get some exams first. But the tutor says I could do it, just need to put the work in.’
‘Good. I’ll get that food.’
Leanne scrambled to her feet and picked up Lola. In the kitchen she strapped her in the baby seat and chattered to her while I made the meal. When I put the plate down in front of her she said, ‘Ta,’ and began to eat ravenously, smacking her lips and with her eyes on Lola in between.
‘This place you’re staying,’ I asked her, ‘you said it was in Leeds?’
‘Chapeltown. I might move back this way but then I don’t know if they’d transfer me on the lists. Could try the housing associations.’
‘And the access course?’ I said.
‘They’ll have the same sort of thing here.’
Ray came in. He still hadn’t got dressed and ignored us and began making a cup of tea.
Lola grinned and blew a raspberry. Leanne waved her fork at her.