"Crystal"
"I don't want to hear it. You had your chance years ago." She brought the cigarette to her lips, surprised at how her hand trembled. Calm down, she thought to herself, knowing Jessica would be back out any minute.
"I've missed you," Margaret said sadly.
"Yeah?" Crystal snorted. "Funny, I haven't missed you one bit." Tasting the venom in her tongue, she took the opportunity to lash out. "What I miss is something you never were and never will be." She heard the sniffle, then the screen door opening and closing. "Good," she muttered, taking pleasure in the knowledge that her words could hurt the other woman. Now alone, she walked over to the picnic table and resumed her seat.
Jessica came out a few minutes later, now dressed in faded jeans and sneakers that would never again be white. In her hand was a paper, the "A" in red marker clearly visible. "Aunt Crystal, wanna see what I got on my test?"
"I see, very good," she said, carefully schooling the residual anger out of her voice. "What time does your mommy come home?" "Mommy comes home at six," Jessica said as climbed up on the bench. "Are you gonna stay for dinner?"
"I don't think so," Crystal said. "I have to go home soon. Laura will wonder where I am."
"You could call her," Jessica suggested. "Gramma will let you use the phone."
Not a chance, she thought to herself. "Maybe another time," she said. "Where's Thomas?"
"He's at swimming class. Can I come to your house some time?" Jessica gave her aunt her best pleading look but all Crystal saw were shadows of her sister a generation before. The young girl's hair was the same shade of blonde and her button nose was unmistakably a gift from Patty's genes. "Sure," Crystal said, knowing with certainty that she was going to be one of those aunts who spoils their nieces and nephews. "Maybe we can even find a movie to go to."
"Oh!" Jessica said excitedly. "I wanna see Dragons and Wizards."
"Isn't that the one with all the blood and stuff?" Crystal asked, wrinkling her nose at the memory of the previews on television. "Besides, I think that movie is rated R."
"I've seen R rated movies before," Jessica said.
"How about we ask your mother?" Crystal smiled as the look on her niece's face told her exactly what Patty's reaction to such a suggestion would be. "Uh huh, I thought so. You were trying to pull a fast one on your Aunt Crystal, weren't you?" Jessica giggled and squirmed as Crystal reached over and began tickling her. "I knew it, you're just like your mother when she was a kid."
The pair were still chatting away when Patty's car pulled in behind Crystal's hatchback. The passenger door opened and three feet of energy came bounding out. "Aunt Crystal!"
"Hi Thomas," she said, turning on the bench to catch the boy as he jump at her lap. "Did you have fun swimming?"
"Yeah," he said with a smile. "Mr. Sherman even let me jump off the diving board once."
Patty approached them carrying a bright blue roll bag. "Thomas, give Gramma your swimming trunks and towel so she can get them washed for Wednesday," she said.
"Okay Mommy."
Crystal stood up and accepted her sister's hug. "Hi."
"Good to see you again," Patty said. "Come on in and stay for dinner. Did you bring Laura?"
"Laura's home," Crystal said. "I was just out driving and thought I'd stop by for a few minutes. I can't stay."
"Well it's still good to see you," her sister said, pulling back but leaving one arm around Crystal's shoulders. "At least come inside for a few minutes."
"I can't." Crystal took a step toward her car. "You know why."
Patty glanced at the house, then at her daughter. "Jess, go inside and help Gramma with dinner, please."
"Okay Mommy. Can I come back out when I'm done?"
"Is your homework done?" Patty asked.
"Most of it."
"Then you know what you'll be doing after dinner then, don't you?"
Crystal had to smile at the pout on her niece's face. "I'll come back soon to visit," she promised, bending down to hug the child who had come running over.
"Bye Aunt Crystal."
"Bye sweetie."
The sisters remained quiet until the screen door closed, each lighting their own cigarette. Patty spoke first. "I wish you would try to get along with her."
"Not a chance," Crystal said. "You want to pretend nothing happened and she was mother of the year, go right ahead." "Look, I know you blame her for some of what happened to us but Crys, it was years ago."
"Oh, and that makes it all right?" Crystal walked over to her car and leaned against it, forcing Patty to follow her or have to speak loud enough for the words to carry through the open kitchen window. "She was all that stood between him and us and she did nothing, not one damn thing to help us."
"All right but he was the one, not her. You want to hate someone, hate him." Patty said angrily. "He's the one I hate."
"I hate him too but you can't just pretend she's innocent in all of it," Crystal said, her voice rising to match Patty's. "She's just as guilty and I can't figure out why the hell you can't see that." Pulling the keys out of her pocket, Crystal walked around the front of the car to the driver's side. "I'd like to see you and the kids," she said. "But I'm not going to put up with her."
"This is her home too," Patty said. "I can't just ask her to disappear whenever you want to stop over."
Jerking the door open, Crystal shrugged. "Fine. Then come over to my place because nothing is going to get me to make peace with her." She started the car and began backing up the second Patty moved away.
Speed was not a concern for Crystal as she whipped through the side streets on her way back to the highway. Once on the wide open road, she moved into the left lane and pushed the old car well over the posted limit. Only the rushing wind kept her thoughts company and it did nothing to help steer her away from the darkness that beckoned. At the intersection at the end of the exit ramp, Crystal came to a complete stop, the time having come for her to make a decision. To the right were the bars that offered oblivion, the escape from the anger and pain swirling around inside her. To the left, the scenic townhouse complex and Laura. Making her decision, Crystal turned the steering wheel and stepped on the gas.
Laura was waiting impatiently in the living room when she heard Crystal's car pull up. "It's about time," she said as she headed for the door, throwing it open just as Crystal was getting out of the car. "Where were you? I called around noon and Michael said you took the afternoon off."
"I went to see Jenny then over to Patty's," Crystal said, meeting Laura halfway up the walk. "And I'm not sure I should have done either." "What happened?"
Crystal sighed and leaned against her. "Long story, both of them."
"All right, let's go inside and you can tell me all about it," Laura said, putting her arm around Crystal's waist. "I'm sorry if I sounded agitated. It's not like you to leave work in the middle of the day."
"I couldn't concentrate at work," Crystal said as they entered the townhouse. "I thought if I talked it out with Jenny that I could make sense of it but that just added to the problem."
"Wait a minute, I'm confused. How did talking with Jenny make the problem you have with Patty worse?"
"Not that," Crystal said, tossing her keys on the side table. "Though in Doc's usual way she gave me a lot to think about." She shook her head. "I don't know how to explain it."
"How about if we go over to the couch and I hold you until you figure out a way?" Laura suggested, using her hands on Crystal's shoulders to guide her lover in the direction she wanted.
"Why is it everything in my life always ends up being so screwed up?" Crystal huffed as she flopped onto the couch. "It's like I have some sort of warped Midas touch or something."