"Sure, if you're thinking of killing yourself." Crystal walked over to the short file cabinet and sat down atop it. "How ya doing?" "Hello yourself and I'm fine." Laura gestured at the monitor. "I think I got over fifteen pages done so far. It's been a most productive day." "Good for you."
"What's that? Refilling your stock?"
"Yeah well" Crystal set the whiskey bottle on the floor, out of Laura's sight.
"Yeah." Laura let the subject drop. "So how was your day? You look like you've been playing in a dirt pile. Make sure you spot soak those stains with detergent before you put them in my washing machine."
"You're the only person I know who worries about keeping your washing machine clean." Looking at her roommate, Crystal noticed Laura's drawn face and puffy eyes. "Did you take a nap today at all?"
"I didn't have time. Those ideas you gave me yesterday were just what I needed to bring Bobbi and Julie together." Laura stretched in her seat, rolling her head from side to side until she heard a satisfying pop. "I'm almost ready for them to have their first kiss."
"Oh yes, let's get them into bed as soon as possible," Crystal said teasingly. "I think you need a break. Tell you what, I'll make dinner tonight." "You know how to cook?"
"Bite me," Crystal replied, hopping off the file cabinet and retrieving her bottle from its hiding place. "Come on, you need to get away from this depressing music."
As they made their way down the stairs, Laura continued to defend her musical tastes. "The Carpenters aren't depressing. And melancholy music is the perfect setting for the scene I'm working on."
"I hope it isn't a love scene," Crystal quipped as she stepped into the kitchen. "So what are you in the mood for? I know nothing that resembles real food." She opened the refrigerator and glanced at the contents of each shelf. Oh, I didn't know she had green olives hidden in here, Crystal thought to herself, making a mental note to come down later and help herself to a few. "What's this thing that looks like a burger?"
"It a veggie burger."
"How do you cook it? Just like a regular one?"
"Pretty much. I add some fried onions and cheese for flavoring."
"Sounds good. I have a piece of cube steak in here somewhere" Crystal moved jars of unidentifiable concoctions around but her meat was nowhere to be found. "Where is it?"
"I moved it away from my leftover rigatoni. Look on the bottom shelf in the back."
"Of course, why didn't I see it before?" Crystal said sarcastically, moving the baskets of fresh berries out of her way to reach the steak. "Do you have onions and cheese?"
"Cheese is in the dairy compartment on the door and the onions are in the bottom drawer."
Crystal found the ingredients and placed them on the counter. Opening several drawers turned up the good cutting knives. Laura had buried herself in the newspaper, leaving the blonde to her own thoughts. As it did so many times during the day, Crystal's mind went back to the past. It shouldn't keep hurting so much. Picking up the knife, she began slicing the onion. I know what Jenny wants. She wants me to break down and tell her what he did like that's going to make any kind of difference. The force of the knife through the onion increased and Crystal soon felt stinging tears come to her eyes. With her back to Laura and her fingers covered with onion juice, she let the tears fall, knowing it would be worse if she tried to rub her eyes. Bet this would make her happy, seeing me cry like this again. Sniffing and rubbing her cheeks against the upper sleeves of her shirt, Crystal shoved the knife away and scooped the slivers on onion into the frying pan. I miss you Patty. I really need a hug. A small half sob escaped her lips, the onions no longer to blame for the tears.
"You okay?" Laura asked from the table.
Crystal sniffed and lowered the temperature of the burner. "Uh yeah, strong onion, I guess." Everything else could wait a few minutes. "I'm going to step outside for a smoke." Lowering her head and looking away from Laura, Crystal quickly made her way out to the deck.
The moon was still below the tree line, casting very little light on the deck. Gripping the rail with both hands, Crystal faced the darkness, unable to stop the stinging tears from falling. The anger that used to come so easily to her couldn't break through the stronger emotion, pain. The memories of being a lonely girl with no one to turn to refused to go away and Crystal felt herself slipping back to that painful time. She never heard the sliding glass door slide open or Laura stepping out onto the deck. Crystal jumped at the feel of a gentle hand on her back.
"Hey" Laura spoke softly. "Com'mere." Before she could react, Crystal found herself wrapped within Laura's gentle embrace. "I
"
"Shh, it's okay," the writer said. Crystal felt the hold tighten, her head pressed into Laura's shoulder. "Once in a while we all need to just let it out." "I c-can't stop," Crystal sniffled, awkwardly letting her arms go around Laura's back. "It j-just it just hurts so much." Unable to stop herself, she burrowed deeper into the hug, feeling the heat of Laura's body through the thin cotton shirt. The tears fell freely for the first time in many years and Crystal found herself helpless to stop them. Just as she sought comfort in her sister's embrace as a child, Crystal now tightened her grip around Laura's back as sobs wracked her body. As her tears soaked into Laura's shirt, she felt a hand rubbing gently up and down her back. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Crystal felt Laura's grip tighten. "I told you, sometimes we all have to just let it out." The hands rubbing her back and hair stopped. "Do you feel like going inside now?" Laura asked. Crystal nodded and allowed herself to be led through the kitchen and onto the couch where Laura insisted on sitting next to her.
"I-I'm sorry," she said, wiping at her face with her sleeve. "I thought it was the onions but
" She looked everywhere but at Laura, embarrassed by the crying jag. "I'd better get back to dinner." Crystal tried to get up only to find herself held in place by a firm hand on her chest.
"Dinner can wait," Laura insisted. "You're more important." As she spoke, Laura moved her hand up to cup Crystal's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "Talk to me." Crystal found herself looking into Laura's hazel eyes, finding both care and concern within them. "Come on, Crystal, talk to me," Laura repeated softly.
"I just keep thinking about the past," Crystal said, breaking the gaze and focusing on the laces of Laura's sneaker instead. "My father was such a bastard." Unsure what to say, Laura remained quiet, giving Crystal the time she needed to collect her thoughts. The smell of cooking onions began to filter through the air. Laura made a mental note of it but remained where she was, one arm around the back of Crystal's shoulders. The shrill ringing of the phone interrupted the silence.
"Let the machine get it," Laura said. Three rings later she heard the familiar click and the recorded sound of her own voice. "This is Laura. I can't come to the phone right now, so please leave a message." Beep.
"Laura, it's Jenny," the distorted voice said. "Call me when you get in." There was a click then the room returned to silence. "I saw her today," Crystal said quietly.
"I thought you usually saw her on Mondays?"
Crystal nodded. "I do but I've been feeling like this all day."
"Oh, so she saw you again today?" Crystal nodded. "Good," Laura continued. "What did she say?"
"She said I need to out more, I guess." Crystal shrugged. "I need to talk about what happened " She shook her head. "How am I supposed to talk about something like that?" She looked up at Laura again, still finding the gentle look of concern on her face.
"Just like you're doing now."
"Easy for you to say. I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams," Crystal said.
"Interesting visual image," Laura said. "Maybe you feel that way because there's something inside that's trying very hard to come out." "Now you're sounding like Doc," the blonde said, causing them both to smile briefly. "Maybe," she admitted with a nod, the smile leaving her face. "I told you before if you ever needed to talk, I'd be here."