"Yes?"
Crystal sniffed. "Well, I guess it's true then that you don't know what you're missing until it shows up."
"Meaning?" Jenny pushed.
"Meaning" Sitting up, Crystal brought her knees up and rested her forearms on them. "Since Patty, there hasn't ever been anyone until now that I felt cared about me." Emotions flickered over Crystal's face as she tried to make sense of her jumbled thoughts. "I've had friends but never anyone close, not like Laura has been." The young woman gave a short laugh and looked over at Jenny. "I've forgotten what it's like for someone to actually give a damn about me. To pay attention to what's going on in my life. To"
"To have someone put your test up on the refrigerator," Jenny finished.
"How stupid is that?" Crystal asked. "I let myself get all mushy over something like Laura putting that test up." She wiped her eyes although no tears managed to fall.
"It's been a long time since someone gave notice to your abilities and accomplishments." Jenny set the notebook aside and leaned forward. "It's been a long time since you've let anyone get close enough to you to care for you. You hide in that turtle shell thinking trying to keep everyone on the outside but you know deep inside that shell it's a lonely place."
"But I don't get hurt in my shell," Crystal countered without much enthusiasm.
"If you don't let yourself open up to being hurt, you can't enjoy the pleasures of being loved. It's a risk you take when you decide to live instead of just existing."
"How the hell did you get me on this topic anyway," Crystal grumbled. "We started out talking about what a pain in the ass Laura's aunt is." "And you were angry when you came in the door. Now you're calm. Amazing what happens when you open up to someone, isn't it?" Jenny smiled, ignoring the harmless glare being directed at her. "So you want to talk about your temporary houseguest."
"Houseguest from hell," Crystal clarified, reminded of the fact that Laura used to call her the roommate from hell when they first started living together. "You know how Laura's a neat freak. Helen makes me look like Laura. I swear she can't enter a room without making it look like a hurricane came through. At least with Laura I know where something is. You know she used my mug?"
"Who used your mug?"
"Helen." Crystal sat up and looked at Jenny. "No one uses that mug but me."
"Did she know it was your mug?"
"How could she not?" came the reply. Crystal took the use of her mug by someone else as a personal affront and Jenny's calm manner about it was earning the therapist the evil eye. "It was the only mug in there with my name on it."
"I don't remember seeing that there," Jenny remarked.
"Laura bought it for me last week," Crystal said. "Didn't she tell you?"
"I haven't talked to her much since her mother became ill." Thinking about where they were, Jenny straightened and cleared her throat. "Gotta watch that line, Crystal."
"Yeah well it's kinda hard when I can't talk about the person I spend the most time with," the blonde complained. Deciding that her point was made, Crystal returned to the real topic. "So she has no respect for my mug or even for things that Laura likes. She used those rose shaped soaps because she said she didn't like the scent of the bar soap." She shook her head. "She's loud and doesn't give a shit what she says about anything."
"You know." This time the therapist could not contain her smirk. "It seems to me that just two weeks ago you were bitching about those very soaps and how much of a let me the quote right here pain in the ass Laura was about them."
Crystal flushed slightly and lowered her head in acknowledgment. "Yeah well that was before Laura told me about where she got them and how it made her feel to go in there and smell the scents."
Now Jenny was smiling in the smug way she always did when she finally had Crystal steered down the path she wanted. "Tolerance and understanding made the difference. You couldn't stand certain things about living with another person but as time goes by not only do you learn to accept the differences but now you even appreciate some of them."
Crystal made no objection to the statement, merely shrugging her shoulders noncommittally. "She's not so bad. Once you get past the neat freak part, that is. You just gotta know her, that's all."
"I suspect many people you meet will fall into the same category," Jenny said. "There are some very good people out there if you care to open your eyes."
Crystal's face took on a faraway look and Jenny let a few moments go by before clearing her throat politely. "Oh, sorry," the blonde said. "I was just thinking about something."
"Do share," Jenny encouraged, moving from the couch to the unattended beanbag and assuming the same comfortable position Crystal was in, legs and hips on the floor, back supported by the beanbag. "It certainly wasn't a bad thought from the look on your face."
"I was just remembering once about three years ago when I went out for a ride on some back country road. I stopped at a garage sale that looked like every single thing there should have been thrown in the dumpster long ago." Crystal's face grew animated and she sat up while telling her story. "They had windows with broken glass, lamps that didn't work, you name it. If it was junk, they had it. So I'm just looking around. I don't know why, I never go to those kinda things."
"I like garage sales," Jenny said. "You never know what you're going to find."
"Exactly," Crystal said enthusiastically. "Well behind all that junk I found a box and inside that was a watch, a knife and some tools. Well the whole box was marked for five bucks and I just had this feeling so I bought it. I took the stuff one by one to the antique stores around and all totaled I got over a hundred bucks for everything and I still had some wooden knickknacks from that box up until the fire."
"And the lesson to the story is?" Jenny asked in a teasing tone.
"That even if it looks like it's just junk take another look."
"You'll never know where you might find that treasure," the therapist finished. Looking at her watch, Jenny frowned. "Well, we've spent enough time talking about every subject under the sun. I think it's time we do a little more role playing, what do you say?"
"I say what I said last time," Crystal replied, her mood quickly turning defiant. Pushing her way back on top of the beanbag, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I think it's stupid to pretend about something that'll never happen."
"That's what pretend is all about," Jenny said calmly. "There's a safety in being able to yell at the person you're angry with without worrying about any physical repercussions." This was an on going battle with Jenny to get Crystal to feel safe enough to open up and let out some of the rage and hurt that were bottled up inside. Despite the attitude being shown at the moment, Jenny felt it was still the best time to try.
"I still think this is stupid." Grumbling to herself but loudly enough that Jenny could hear her, Crystal walked over to the mat taking up the corner of the room behind the beanbags. "All right, so which parent do you want me to be pissed off with this time."
"Which one do you feel like yelling at?" the therapist countered, standing just a few feet away from her patient.
"I don't feel like yelling at either one of them," Crystal said in a bored tone. "They're not worth my energy."
"Neither of them?"
Crystal nodded. "I don't give a shit about either of them. They can both go to hell."
"Why?"
"You know why. Because of what they did to me." Crystal became more agitated, tapping her foot on the mat and clenching her jaw. "And she was useless."