"How kind of you!"Killashandra gave a supercilious snort.
"Kindness has little to do with it.An efficient use of singers' time and energies does.Singers lose memory function every time they go into the Ranges.They lose crucial details of the precise location of valuable sites."
"Detail maybe, but not the resonance that'll lead you right back to a good claim," Killashandra said, shaking her head to dismiss Donalla's faulty logic.
"Only if you go right back into the Ranges.How much more convenient it would be to recall the exact locations by accurately remembering the relevant landmarks."
"And leave such information around for other singers to access?No way!Try another on me."
"I'm not trying anything on you.I've already had notable success in accessing memory in crystal-mazed singers' minds."
"You've what?"Killashandra sat up, fury building in her at such an intrusion.Who did this woman think she was?
"I had the Guild Master's authority and it's-"
"Get out of here.I don't want any part of such a scheme.That Guild Master of yours must be out of his gourd to permit such harassment.That's the worst example of privacy invasion I've ever heard."
"But so much information can be restored," Donalla said urgently, bending toward Killashandra in an effort to win her over."So much lost memory can be retrieved."
"I haven't lost anything I want retrieved."Killashandra was a decibel away from a shout."Go peddle your nonsense to someone else, Donalla.Leave me alone!"
"But I want to help you, Killashandra," Donalla said, switching tactics.
"I don't need that kind of help.Now go, or do I have to throw you out?I'm well enough to do so, you know."And she half rose from her chair.
Donalla pushed off the edge of the bed and took a step back, flustered."You'll be helping Lars Dahl as well, you know.Not to mention your Guild."
"Spare me the sentimental violin passage, Donalla.Loyalty is another commodity singers lack and don't need!"Killashandra completed her rise in one fluid movement, delighted that her body would respond so readily.She grabbed Donalla by the arm, turned her toward the door, and forcefully ejected her from the room."And don't come back."
"If you'd only listen…" Donalla began, but Killa shut the door on her entreaty.
"Regression isn't painful!"The woman was incredible, shouting through a closed door at her.With one twist of the volume control, Killa turned on to full whatever program was on the in-room entertainment, drowning out Donalla's voice.Then she threw on the door privacy lock.
For a long moment, she seethed, letting the music, some sort of a baroque chorus, roll over her.The song was familiar to her.She picked up the soprano line, surprised and pleased to be able to add words to the notes.She broke off singing when, even to herself, her voice sounded harsh and strident.
Well, wouldn't it?When she was being harassed by a silly bitch who had made a unilateral decision about what Killashandra Ree "needed"?Only Killashandra Ree could make those decisions.She had earned that right, by all the holies!Ridiculous woman!Absurd notion-reviving a useless baggage of memories.And the Guild Master agreed?
Killa exhaled in disgust, reviewing what Donalla had said.Her memory might be faulty but she had been reading voices for years.She snorted again, remembering tonalities and inflections that told her more than Donalla might have intended. The woman had said Lars's name in a tone that indicated more than casual acquaintance with him, intimating a relationship that was more than work-oriented.They were a fine pair, they were!Well suited!If she'd known the woman would take on this way, behaving like a conscience, she'd've let her die in the Recruitment Room.
"There, too, I can remember-when I want to!"Killa muttered to herself.Then she laughed as she heard the childish petulance in her voice.She remembered the important things, like how to fly a sled, how to locate claims, how to cut-and, most important of all, she generally remembered what to cut in order to get top market value on her crystal.What more did she need to remember?The petty details of everyday life?The trivia that clogged the brain and got in the way: the incidents that humiliated or enraged, the bilge, bosh, claptrap that happened while traveling, things inconsequential when one would only be visiting the world once?
What about remembering the new world?
If it was worthwhile, interesting, or exciting, I'll remember it, she told herself.
Will you?
I can, if I want to!I can!
She slept away the afternoon and awoke to hear a tentative tapping on her door.It was the bright little infirmary aide wanting to serve her dinner.She ate heartily, trying to ignore the fact that someone had gone to the trouble of ordering a selection of her favorite foods.That would pad the charges for her Infirmary usage.Ah, well.She'd always paid for exotics, and the Yarran beer did go down a treat!
She didn't see the irritating Donalla over the next three days, but had several sessions with therapists, who worked to help her regain full muscle tone.She retrieved her cutter from Clarend, who warned her again to remember-remember-that she couldn't abuse her cutter again or she would have to replace it.She took possession of a sparkling brand-new sled.
"I won't tell you how many you've banged up over the years, Killa," Ritwili told her in a sour tone as he extended the purchase order for her signature."And stocking it took the rest of your credit.You're in the red right now-so cut well!"
She paused long enough to contact Clodine and find out what crystal she ought to look for.
"Someone's wanting those deep amethysts and, of course, any black you stumble across," Clodine said with a grin."You've a natural affinity for them anyway, and blacks are always needed."
"Yeah."Killa wasn't all that happy with her affinity.She liked the money from blacks but not cutting them solo.They tended to thrall more easily than any other color."I'll remember that."
She was not the only singer departing the Guild Hangar that day: fifteen others were making ready and each of them was determined to be the last one out and thus not only see the direction every other singer was taking but conceal his or her own ultimate destination.
Disgusted, Killashandra gave up waiting.At this rate, it would be dark before she made any significant progress into the Range.Noting the marks of age and misuse on most of the other vehicles, she realized that with her new sled, she could easily outfly any of them.She asked, and received, clearance, along with a heartfelt thanks from the flight officer, who was losing patience with the dilatory singers.
"Blinding damn paranoid, the lot of 'em," he muttered, forgetting to close the circuit.
"You better believe it," Killa said with a laugh, and eased her new vehicle through the Hangar's immense outer doors.
The exchange put Killashandra in a good mood, which improved when she heard five other singers suddenly demanding clearance.Well, she'd show them!
Capriciously she zipped off at a speed inappropriate for her proximity to the Hangar, laughing at the flight officer's irate reprimand.Running at a recklessly low altitude over the uneven terrain of the foothills, she built the sled up to maximum power as fast as she dared.
"Try to follow me now, you dorks!Shatter yourself on the hills trying!"
She let out a musical hurrah as the ground hurtled past her.Lyrics to the aria deserted her, but she sang on, using vowels and singing at the top of her lungs, reveling in her renewed freedom.
Chapter 7
Killashandra came in from the Milekey Mountains with a load of blue-quartz prisms and cylinders in A-sharp or higher.She had always worked well solo in the upper registers, which gave her a distinct advantage over most crystal singers.