The next moment another spasm struck her, hard, sharp, fierce.She fought it through a body arched with pain.And she knew that she was being inexorably drawn back.And she did not want to leave Shad Tucker.
To him, she was a novelty, a woman to make love to-now-when the lunk season had been good and a man needed to relax.But Killashandra was not the sort of woman he would build a home for on his acres of seafront.On her part, she loved him: for his youth, for his absurd gentleness and courtesy; because, in his arms, she was briefly ageless.
The profound cruelty of her situation was driven home to her mind as bitterly as the next hunger pain for crystal sound.
It isn't fair, she cried piteously.It isn't fair.I can't love him.It isn't fair.He's too young.He'll forget me in other loves.And I-I'll not be able to remember him.That was the cruelest part.
She began to cry, Killashandra who had forsworn tears for any man half a century before, when the harmony between herself and Lars Dahl had turned chaotic.Her weeping, soft as it was, woke Shad.He comforted her lovingly and complicated her feelings for him by asking no questions at all.Maybe, she thought with the desperation of fearful hope, he isn't that young.He might want to remember me.
And, when her tears had dried on her face, he kissed her again, with an urgency that must be answered.And was, as fully and sweetly as ever.
The summons came two days later.Biyanco tracked them in the cove and told her only that she had an urgent message.She was grateful for that courtesy, but she hated the brewman for bringing the message at all.
It was a Guild summons all right: a large order for black crystal had been received.All who had sung black crystal were needed in the Ranges.Implicit in the message was a Guild warning: she'd been away too long from crystal.What crystal gave, it took away.She stared at her reflection in the glass panel of the message booth.Yes, crystal could take away her appearance of youthfulness.How long would Shad remember the old woman she would shortly become?
So she started out to say goodbye to him.Best have it done quickly and now!Then back to Ballybran and forgetfulness in the crystal song.She felt cold all over.
He was sitting by the lagoon, strumming his guitar, absorbed in a melody he had composed for her.It was a pretty tune, one that stayed in the mind and woke you humming it the next day.
Killashandra caught back her breath.Shad had perfect pitch-he could come with her, to Ballybran.She would train him herself to be a crystal singer.
"Don't," said Biyanco, stepping to her side.
"Don't what?" she asked coldly.
"If you really love the boy, Killashandra, don't.He'll remember you this way.That's what you want, isn't it?"
It was, of course, because she wouldn't remember him.So she stood there, beside Biyanco, and listened to Shad sing, watched the boyish intensity on his beloved face, and let cruelty wash hope out of her.
"It never works, does it, Killashandra?"Biyanco asked gently.
"No."She had a fleeting recollection of Lars Dahl.They had met somewhere, off-world.Hadn't they?His had been a water world, too.Hadn't it?Had she chosen another such world, hoping to find Lars Dahl again?Or merely anyone?Like Shad Tucker.Had she herself been lured to Ballybran by some ageless lover?Perhaps.Who could remember details like that?The difference was that now she was old enough not to play the siren for crystal.Old enough to leave love while he was young, and still in love enough to remember her only as a woman.
"No one forgets you, Killashandra," Biyanco said, his eyes dark and sad, as she turned to leave.
"Maybe I can remember that much."
Chapter 8
"The Guild has received the biggest order ever requested, to facilitate the colonization and exploitation of seven new systems," the Guild Master told the twenty singers he had called back from their travels."We must be able to fill these orders for black crystal.All of you"-and his blue eyes settled on one after the other-"have cut black crystal from time to time."
"When I could find it," someone said facetiously.
"The chosen few," another added.
He wasn't really all that much like Shad, Killashandra thought, her mind jumping as much from crystal deprivation as deliberate inattention because it was Lars Dahl who was talking in his Guild Master role.Just because they both have blue eyes and love the sea, that doesn't make them comparable.Or it shouldn't.And if any of us could find black crystal, we would, without him having to order us!
"To facilitate that search," Lars Dahl continued as the screen behind him lit up with a variety of paint emblems, "the Guild is canceling the markers of singers who, for one reason or another, are not actively working in the Ranges."That caused a stir and some consternation."I should amend that-singers who have been known to bring in black crystal," he went on, raising his voice slightly over the murmuring."We must follow up every potential source of black crystal."
"Leaving no stone unturned?" the wit asked, rousing some laughter and groans.
Lars Dahl grinned in response."That's it.Now"-he gestured behind to the screen-"these are the canceled markers.If, however, one of you finds black on the claim of a still-existing singer…"
"Can't regress 'em back far enough to tell you where they cut black yet, eh, Lars?" someone asked, ending with a malicious laugh.
Regress?The word reverberated, jogging an uneasy memory, and Killa sat upright, trying to locate the speaker."Regress"?Why should that word alarm her?
"I'll be forced to use that option, Fanerine, if you sane and active ones can't cut the blacks the Guild is obligated to supply.As I was saying, if an existing singer's claim is worked, there'll be a levy of twenty-five percent on your cut which is to go to the original claimant."He held up his hand to interrupt the sharp protests."That will include the Guild tithe, so you aren't losing much to gain a viable site.Of course, you have to find it, first."Killashandra rather liked that droll touch.Lanzecki had reserved his humor for private moments."Now, here're copies of these released markers for you to take with you.Secure it somewhere highly visible and try to remember why the sheet's there.First comer to any of these reopened clams has possession: mark it with your own colors."
"Most of you realize that we've just had Passover so that's one hazard that won't interrupt the search.Met says there's a period of stable weather due us-isn't it always after Passover?"His remark generated a few polite chuckles, but Killashandra regarded him stony-faced.
He shouldn't think he could jolly them into doing the impossible even with that ploy of reopening worked claims that might possibly be black crystal.Why was the Guild "obligated" to supply anything?Worlds should be grateful for whatever the singers cut.She flicked her gaze around the room from one face to the next.Of the twenty, she recognized two or three.She ought to be able to recognize more.The buzz in her body made it hard for her to think.On the other hand, did any of the twenty recognize her?But then, she was seated at the back and hoping to get this meeting over with.She hugged herself, wishing she could squeeze out the itch.Maybe she could sneak out, but there was someone standing right in front of the door.To prevent premature exits?
Resignedly she listened to Lars go through his act, stirring the singers up to do the impossible-find enough black crystal to fill those contracts.Muhlah!She gave a humorless snort.He was doing a good job of communicating the urgency of this search.She couldn't recall another such all-out effort!Or that Lanzecki had ever thrown open unused claims before the paint marker was completely obliterated.
She rose when the others did, but was not unduly surprised when her name was called out.The Guild Master pushed his way through to her.