Tianyi walked out into the courtyard feeling utterly helpless. Qing seemed to have cast herself in the role of the Hua family’s future daughter-in-law. Of course, there were a few problems with this but Tianyi could not bring herself to break the truth to her. For a start she had no idea how Zheng felt. Qing’s version of events was that Zheng really did love her, and when his parents told him that Qing was with them when they visited him in prison, then it would be a huge boost for his morale. Also, if Tianyi absolutely had to be the one to puncture her illusions, Qing would never forgive her. The girl would be convinced that she, Tianyi, was putting obstacles in her way out of jealousy. Tianyi felt the only thing she could do was to back off.
As it was a Saturday, Tianyi went to pick up Niuniu, who was now at a different nursery where he boarded, coming home only on Wednesdays and Saturdays. She took him straight to a restaurant where they often ate because, even though it was a bit small, it was spotlessly clean, and offered good home-cooking. Niuniu loved it, and normally ate well. But today he picked at his food, and the reason was simple: Auntie Tianyue and her boyfriend Uncle Yang were eating with them.
Tianyue knew the restaurant well, because every time she visited, if they had nothing good to eat at home, Tianyi and Lian brought her here. The trouble was that Niuniu did not like his aunt, and liked Yang even less. As soon as he saw them, his little face clouded over. Tianyi, who had always thought that her son had a tendency to be grumpy, had the greatest difficulty in making him to say hello to his aunt and uncle. Some people just took an instinctive dislike to one another for some reason, and that was how it was for Niuniu and Tianyue. But compared to how he was with Yang, he was politeness itself to his auntie. Yang he treated as his natural-born enemy.
Tianyue was radiant that evening. She said to her sister: ‘Yang and I have both taken the English test, Tianyi. Do a reading for us and tell us if we’ve passed?’
Amongst her circle of friends, Tianyi was famous for doing readings from the I Ching. But that night, before she had had time to do one for her sister, Tianyi had a strange dream. A glittering golden tiger was standing at the entrance to a tunnel, looking back with a great yearning in its eyes. Then it waved its tail and it was as if a pure gold fan splayed open, and folded together again. Then it walked into the darkness and slowly disappeared. She dreamed it at four o’clock in the morning. Dreams she had at that hour were generally very accurate. Her sister was born in the Year of the Tiger and the dream clearly meant that her sister could go, and that going would bring her good fortune.
When Tianyi did the reading, next day, the results confirmed this even more clearly. The trigrams told her: In autumn the tiger’s coat is gorgeous and it is a favourable time to wade the great river. Exactly what her dream had said. So Tianyi called Tianyue and told her: ‘You can go. This autumn.’
By the middle of August, Tianyue had still not received her acceptance from the college. This was unusual and Tianyue had almost given up hope, but Tianyi encouraged her: ‘You will go, just be patient.’ ‘Of course I will, but not this time, right?’ said Tianyue. ‘No, it will be this time,’ Tianyi insisted.
One day at the end of August, Tianyue finally received her letter. The envelope contained a brief apology too, saying that they had written the address wrong and the letter had been returned undelivered, and they had had to re-send it, and so on and so forth. The first thing Tianyue did was to phone Tianyi. ‘You got it absolutely right, Sis!’ she exclaimed.
16
Qing left Beijing at about the same time as Tianyue. She did not seem happy to be going. ‘Tianyi, I’ll never forget how good you were to me,’ she said. ‘But I just don’t know why Zheng’s Mum took against me. I never asked for anything except just a word from Zheng and I would have waited for him, I would have waited thirteen years, but I didn’t get a single word. I reckon that his parents never said anything to him about me. What do you think, Tianyi?’
Tianyi slowly shook her head. To be honest, she did not know why Zheng’s parents had been so cold to Qing, either. Was it that they just didn’t like her? Even if they didn’t, they must see that Qing had travelled all the way from South China to Beijing for him, and deserved a little courtesy and warmth. As these thoughts passed through her head, Tianyi tried to comfort her: ‘Don’t think like that, there’s probably a lot more going on than you imagine. You know he’s still married to Yiyi, even if they don’t have feelings for each other. His parents have fallen out with her, but she is still legally his wife. Even his Mum and Dad can’t do anything about that. And they’re old, they might even be worried that a divorce would be messy. After all, they’re getting on in years, and things upset them. If Yiyi made a fuss, it would be terrible for them, wouldn’t it?’
Qing was silent for a long time. Then she said: ‘I don’t agree with you, Tianyi. You see, his mother…she just doesn’t like me. It’s true. She doesn’t like anything I do. If I touch something in their house, she looks like thunder. She won’t even let me wash the bowls, it’s as if I’ll bring the family bad luck by touching them.’
Tianyi could not help bursting into giggles. Oh my god, she thought, mothers- and daughters-in-law …!’
‘What are you laughing at, Tianyi?
‘Just at the way you described it. That’s enough, girl, you go off and live a good life and if I ever see him one day, I’ll speak up for you.’
Tears streamed down Qing’s face as she said goodbye. She would miss her friend and mentor so much. She had been like an older sister to her. When would she ever find someone like her again?
But Tianyi was no saint. True, she had done something most women would not have done, made a huge effort and taken her former boyfriend’s girlfriend under her wing, but deep down she was not happy about it. Perhaps that was when her feelings of closeness to Zheng began gradually to fade. A man as attractive as Zheng was always going to have countless girls openly in love with him, or pining in secret. But Tianyi was a proud woman and she had no intention of being yet another of his admirers. She would rather be a true friend in his hour of need. She remembered when she was a young girl reading Balzac’s La Cousine Bette. One bit had made a particular impression on her: Lisbeth quotes the Old Testament story where the rich man has whole flocks but ‘the poor relation has one ewe-lamb which is all her joy.’ She preferred to be that one ewe-lamb.
Tianyi dreamed of being loved deeply by one man, a man that she loved and that she was not competing with anyone else over. But this seemed impossible in a society where every individual, particularly someone who stood out for some reason, was surrounded by crowds of others. Unless they were on a desert island, of course, or in prison, as was the case right now. She thought that when Zheng came out of prison would be the time to break with him. She could imagine the number of young women who would descend on him when he came out. But she would turn and leave without allowing herself to look back, like the mermaid who saved the prince. Unless … unless her prince cast off everyone else and came in pursuit of her, and asked her to marry him.
Qing had no sooner left than Lian returned. Someone called from his work to tell her that he would be back that night, around two o’clock in the morning Beijing time. The office bus would arrive at half past ten. Tianyi got Niuniu ready, took thick jackets for them both and set off. On the bus, Lian’s colleagues kept asking: ‘Niuniu, have you been missing your daddy?’ But Niuniu refused to open his mouth.