“But don’t confuse pity with caring, Ember,” she went on. “Hayden’s always had a soft spot for all things… lost and broken.”
Later that evening, I shoved my homework off the bed and made my way downstairs to meet up with Hayden. A Friday night spent killing plants—couldn’t get lamer than that.
At dinner, Gabe had tried to talk Hayden into going to the last football game of the season with him and Phoebe, but he’d passed. I think he was more dedicated to this training than I was.
I decided to grab a soda from the kitchen first, but it was occupied. Recognizing the deep rumble of Kurt’s voice, I halted outside the entrance and tried to convince myself I had a valid reason for staying.
“He’s making a mistake, Liz.”
“Kurt.” Liz sounded exasperated. “He knows what he’s doing. You have to trust him.”
“You are incredibly naïve if you think any of this is going to end well. You weren’t around the last time. What it did to him when he failed. I can’t allow this to continue.”
Hairs on the back of my neck rose. Allow what to continue?
“I’m not naïve or stupid,” Liz insisted. “He’ll do the right thing.”
“The right thing?” he repeated, sounding mystified. “Maybe you and I have two different views of what is right.”
Water drowned out a decent part of the conversation. The next thing I heard was Kurt.
“You can’t see past the little one, Liz. All you’ve ever wanted was a child, and now you have one.
But she came with a price, and it’s that thing walking around this house. If Jonathan knew what was best for him, Cromwell would send Ember to the Facility. Let her be their problem.”
Chapter 17
T hat thing walking around the house…. I hated Kurt—hated how he consistently made me feel like a creep.
“You okay?”
I squeezed the coin until it dug into my palm. If Hayden truly thought I was lost and broken, then I would keep Kurt’s words to myself. And Phoebe would know what he felt, wouldn’t she? She’s an empath. Empaths feel other people’s true emotions. And what good would it do to tell Hayden what I’d overhead? Kurt didn’t want me here. That wasn’t big news.
“Ember?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I gave him my best smile. “I just hate this walk. The chupacabra is going to kill us out here.”
“Whoa. Chupa-what?”
I shrugged. “It’s like Bigfoot, but it sucks goats.”
Hayden’s laughter broke apart some of the darkness around us. “You’ve been watching way too many cheesy sci-fi movies.”
That might be true, but the chupacabra vanished from my thoughts when I laid eyes on the cabin. The soft glow of candlelight was unmistakable.
I halted, heart skipping a beat or two. “Wait. Someone’s in there, Hayden.”
“I know.” Hayden stepped in front of me.
“But someone’s in there.” Wasn’t he getting that?
“I wanted to try something different tonight. After our conversation in the diner, I think I know what’s holding you back.”
I shivered and huddled further down in my hoodie. “Okay. Then why can’t you just tell me what you think it is?”
“I can’t be sure.” Hayden gave a soft shake of his head. “And I have a feeling you won’t just agree with me unless you realize it, too. Sometimes it’s hard to be aware of your own thoughts.”
Suspicion sent me a step back from Hayden. “Who’s in there?”
“Parker.”
“What?” I nearly screeched. “What if he tells Cromwell what we’re doing? Dammit, Hayden! You’re going to get in trouble.”
A strange look crossed Hayden’s face. “Parker won’t say anything, Ember. Of all people, he knows how important controlling a gift is. He won’t tell a soul.”
“Parker can keep this a secret until he dies—I don’t care. He’s not digging around in my head.”
“He won’t dig around. Parker will just be listening to your thoughts while you use your gift.”
“That’s digging around.”
Hayden got the wide-legged stance—meaning he was in it for the long haul. “Ember, this is going to help you. If Parker can pick out what you’re really thinking, then we can find out what’s triggering your gift.”
The idea of sharing my shame with someone else didn’t tempt me. None of them knew how mortifying it felt not being able to touch something without killing it.
“Yeah, I’m not down for this,” I said. “I’ve already told you what I’m thinking. It’s not my fault it isn’t working.”
“I’m not saying it’s your fault. I know it’s not.”
I shook my head. There was no way I was letting anyone in my head. That was too freaky, even for me. “No. I’m not doing this.”
Hayden placed his hand on my arm and squeezed gently. “Em?”
No one called me that—no one but Adam. I started to tell him to never call me that again, that he didn’t have the right, but the words died inside me. His gaze, so dark and intense captured mine.
Everything else faded.
“I know you’re scared. I know you think this is a huge invasion, and isn’t right,” he said. “But we have to find out what triggers your gift. He’ll be in and out.”
“It’s not a damn gift.” Didn’t he understand that?
Exasperation twisted his lips, but his voice remained soft, understanding. “Don’t you want to be able to touch people? Don’t you want to have some sort of normal life?”
“Yes, but not this—”
“Remember what I told you at lunch?”
I remembered what Phoebe had told me at lunch.
“You asked how I learned to control my gift,” he continued earnestly, “and I told you it was fear.
You’ve got to let go of the fear, Em. Or you’ll never get control of this. And you want that, right?”
Vaguely, I wondered if he had another gift hidden behind those dark eyes, because I found myself nodding, agreeing to submit to the mind-jacking.
Things kind of happened fast after that.
Parker waited for us inside. I was taken aback by how he blended into the darkness of the log walls, as if he was nothing more than smoke and shadows. He stood near the bed where Hayden and I had fallen asleep so many nights since the bonfire that it’d become a habit. I hated seeing Parker close to it. It was like this cabin was no longer a place for just Hayden and me.
It took me a moment to realize Parker held something—that something being a sweater of mine. “Why does he have that?” I asked.
“It’s easier to get in when he has something that belongs to the person,” Hayden answered. “Right, Parker?”
Parker nodded.
“Kind of like a psychic?” I asked, feeling dumb for doing so.
“Yes.” Hayden brought a potted aloe back to the couch. He sat, keeping the plant in his lap. “You ready? It’ll just take a few seconds. Parker will be in and out. It will over before you know it.”
My glaze flicked back to Parker. His bright, bottle-green eyes fastened on Hayden and me. As always, his pale face appeared vacant.
Hayden said a couple more reassuring things, and then it was time for me to do my thing. My fingers hovered just over one of the green stems, and it happened. It was like a whisper of air in my mind—a slow, purposeful brush behind my eyes that sent shivers through me.
Parker was in.
I touched the plant.
Immediately, my mind went blank. Then, like a switch being thrown, several thoughts rushed to the surface. I felt them being picked out, looked at, and then thrown to the side. During this, the thick arms of the aloe started to deflate, wither up. My scalp tingled, and then my head seemed to explode with information. My own thoughts and memories flooded me. I couldn’t stop it, couldn’t make sense of any of it.