But, she told them, they could go to places like seeing the new babies together and not have anybody get onto the fact she had friends, the same way she could buy things for people and not have uncle Giraud know they saw each other more than at parties. Andy wasn't in the House circuit, so Andy wouldn't tell everything he saw and neither would the azi in the barn. So they felt safer.
Florian caught the Mare with no trouble. He brought her back and the fillies came right along. That impressed the kids too.
It was strange how the kids looked at Florian and Catlin now, too, since Florian had come back still a little stiff and sore, and she had had Florian and Catlin tell what had happened down there in the Exercise—it was all right to tell them, she had explained to Florian and Catlin, because they were CITs and they were in the House, except Sam, and Sam was all right. So Florian had started telling it, but when he got to the part where he went down the hall, he couldn't remember past that point, and Catlin had to tell it, and about the hospital and everything.
It was the first time either one of them had said more than a sentence or two at a time to the kids, and it was something to get Catlin to tell a story; but once Catlin got warmed up, Catlin knew enough gory stories to get them all going, and all of a sudden the kids seemed to figure out that Florian and Catlin were real. That a whole lot of things were. That they had seen dead people That they really could do what she said.
—Not, really, she thought that they had ever doubted her, but that they had had no way to understand what it was like to walk down a hall toward an Enemy, carrying explosives which, thank God, had not gone off... or even that there were Enemies who could come right up on Reseune's grounds and try to blow things up or shoot people.
They started wondering why, that was one thing that was different. They wanted to know what went onin the Council and why people had wanted to take things from her in Court—and they got to questions where she couldn't give them all the answers.
"That's something I'm still trying to figure out," she had told them. "Except there are people who don't want azi to be born and they'd like to shut Reseune down."
"We do more than azi," Sam had said.
"Florian and Catlin wouldn't like not to be born," Amy had said.
"They might be born," Ari said, "but they'd bring them up like CITs and teach them like CITs. They wouldn't like it."
"Would you?" Amy had asked them, because they had started asking Florian and Catlin questions that didn't go through her.
"No," Florian had said, very quiet, while Catlin shook her head. Ari knew. Florian was too polite to say what he had said to her when she had talked with them about it before: that he didn't like most CITs, because they were kind of slow about things; a lot of CITs, he had said, worked harder trying to make up their minds whatto do than they did doing what they'd decided, and he hated to be around people like that. And Catlin had said, a depth of thought which had surprised her, that she figured CITs had made azi to run things like Security because they knew they couldn't trust each other with guns.
"Do you likebeing azi?" 'Stasi had gotten far enough to ask, that time down in the tunnels.
Florian had gotten a little embarrassed, and nodded without saying a thing.
"I think he's sexy," Maddy had said outright, in school, not in Florian or Catlin's hearing. "I wish Ihad him." And giggled.
I'm glad you don't,had been Ari's thought.
That popped into her head again while Florian was leading the horses back: he was so neat and trim in his black uniform, you couldn't see he was a kid if you didn't know the Mare's height. Florian and Catlin—were enough to make you jealous you couldn't walk like that and look like that and be like that.
Because CITs didn't take care of themselves like that, she thought, they ate too much and they spent too much of their time sitting down and, face it, she told herself, nature dealt Amy eyes that had to be corrected and made Tommy just average-looking, and didn't give Maddy any sense.
While Florian and Catlin looked like that and were so good at what they did that they were out of Green and into House Security, because they were just better than their predecessors—because they were taught afterthe War, Denys had said, using modern-day stuff that made them work harder and use what they had, and because she was right, they had learned a lot of classified stuff up in the House that the Instructors down in Green didn't even know about, that was different since sometime in the War, too. All of which came down to the fact that they started doing their tape in House Security, and that after this no Exercise with them involved could use a double-blind situation.
Like adult Security. Because their reactions had gotten so fast and so dangerous there was no way to make it safe if they got surprised, and they could push other teams past all their training.
She was damned glad Maddy didn'thave their Contracts. Damned glad Maddy didn't have her hands on Florian and didn't have any chance to mess with that partnership, because she understood now beyond any doubt that it was life-and-death business with them. She had made Florian late for one study-session, Florian and Catlin had thrown everything they had into their Exercise, afraid they were going to fail it; and that had made them overrun the course and push another team to the point it got rattled and made a mistake, that was what had happened, so that three azi had gotten killed was, at least remotely, her fault. Not blamable fault, but it was part of the chain of what had happened, and she had to live with that.
She was terribly glad she hadn't done anything with Florian that would have put any more strain on him. Because he could just as well have been dead, and it would have been her fault, really, truly her fault.
Maddy was right. He was so damned pretty. She wanted so much to do with him exactly what Maddy wanted to do.
And Maddy would have no idea in her head why she couldn't.
She wished to hell Ari senior couldtalk back and forth, because she had tried to ask Base One if Ari had anything to say about Florian being in hospital or about whether it was safe to do sex with her azi, if they were Security. But Base One had said there was no such information.
She was so desperate she even thought about getting Seely off in a corner somewhere and asking himthat question. But Seely was as much Seely as he had ever been—and not even sex could make her thatdesperate.
Yet.
x
Her twelfth birthday, she had a big party—a dance in the Rec hall, with every kid in Reseune who was above nine and under twenty—uncle Denys begged off and said he had work, but that was because he hated the music.
He missed something, because Catlin learned to dance. Catlin got the idea of music—it's a mnemonic, Ari said, when Catlin looked puzzled at the dancing: the variations on the pattern are the part that makes it work.
Florian had no trouble at all picking it up—but he was too self-conscious to clown with it in public: that was the funny thing; and it was Catlinwho shocked everybody, by trying to teach Sam a step he couldn't get—an azi out on the floor with a CIT. Everybody got to watching, not mad, just amazed, and Catlin, in a gauzy black blouse that covered just about what it had to with opaque places, and black satin pants that showed off her slim hips like everything, —smiled, did three or four fast steps and showed what you could doif you could isolate muscle groups and keep time with the music.