“And was it?” Damien asked quietly.
“No, because I still feel the same way about you just as I did when I was eighteen.” I sighed. “I had no romantic interest in Dante, but I’ve always had that interest in you, even when I’d deny it to meself. When you kissed me the other day, I felt it in me soul … I know that sounds stupid, but I’ve never felt like that with anyone but you. Granted you’re the only lad I’ve ever kissed, but still, everythin’ is about you in me mind. It always has been. Whether it was good or bad, it was constantly you.”
Damien reached his hand over and cupped my cheek.
“I’m the only man you’ve ever kissed?”
I bobbed my head. “Only you.”
“I feel the same way,” he said. “I tried to move on when I returned to New York. During a low point, I went to a few bars and told myself I was going to pick the first hot chick I saw and fuck her … but I never did. You were on my mind constantly, and not just because I felt like shit over how things ended between us … but because I cared about you. You’re such a sweetheart, Alannah, and I’ve always carried you in my heart even when I was thousands of miles away.”
I covered my face with my hands when tears stung my eyes.
“Stop,” I pleaded. “I don’t want to cry all over you again.”
Damien pulled me against him. “You know we aren’t like a regular boyfriend and girlfriend who’re just starting out, right?”
I lowered my hands and nodded.
“We have history,” Damien continued. “So, don’t worry about what’s right and wrong when it comes to how we should behave. If it feels right to have me next to you at night in your bed, then I’ll be here … okay?”
“Okay,” I replied. “I want you ’ere with me. I’ve never felt so content fallin’ asleep as I did last night with you beside me.”
I was mortified admitting that, but Damien’s smile told me I had no reason to feel that way.
“Me too,” he said. “I lay awake for a while just listening to you breathe and enjoying having you in my arms.”
“Dame,” I murmured.
He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine, giving me a short and sweet kiss.
“You make me very happy,” Damien whispered. “Remember that whenever you start to doubt yourself or feel scared.”
“You make me happy too,” I said, “and like I said, I’m still scared shitless, but I don’t regret tryin’ with you.”
Bronagh was right; if I didn’t try with Damien, my mind would be plagued with what-ifs for the rest of my life. As hard as it was for me to do, I had to think positive; otherwise, I would be sabotaging my relationship with Damien before it even started. This was truly out of my comfort zone; by being with him, I was going against everything I had forced myself to believe for six years. My mind set wouldn’t change overnight, but I was willing to try, and right now, that was the best I could do.
I prayed it would be enough.
“You found ’er in a cardboard box, you say?”
After Damien left my apartment to get to work on time, I got showered, dressed and phoned the closest veterinarian clinic to make an appointment for Barbara. Luckily, they had a cancelation for ten a.m., and I jumped on it. The clinic just happened to be a connection to the animal shelter where Alec worked.
As I was sitting in the waiting room to be called in by the vet, I heard two women gush about a tall, stunningly gorgeous American who was “so funny” and helped them get their dogs out of their cars as he was passing by on his way to work. I rolled my eyes playfully as the women conversed. I could envision Alec’s head growing five times the size with the news.
“Yeah,” I answered the vet. “She was inside the box with no blanket or anythin’.”
The vet shook her head as she examined Barbara from head to toe.
“Evil bastards.”
My lips twitched. “I agree wholeheartedly.”
“Well, I’m glad you took the little lady in,” the vet praised me. “Not many people would do that.”
“I couldn’t leave ’er to fend for ’erself,” I said. “I’d be sick with meself if I did that.”
“You’ve got a good heart.”
I felt my cheeks flare with heat. “Thanks.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
I raised a brow. “Sure.”
“Why did you name ’er Barbara?”
I laughed. “Barbra Streisand was on the telly, and I asked ’er if she liked the name Barbara, she meowed, so I took it as a yes. It’s also me ma’s middle name so I’m changin’ the spellin’ to how she spells it just to give ’er a laugh.”
The vet covered her mouth with her forearm as she laughed. For a moment, I wondered why she didn’t use her hand, but then I realised it was because she was touching Barbara and had been touching animals all morning. She wore gloves, but yeah, I didn’t blame her for not putting a hand to her mouth.
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week.”
“Glad I could amuse you.”
With a smile, the vet then said, “About ’er age … she’s not that young, me guess would be between nine and ten weeks.”
I blinked. “But she’s so small.”
“She’s malnourished,” the vet explained. “She was probably pushed aside by the mother, or simply removed from ’er care before you found ’er.”
My stomach tightened. “Will she be okay?”
“She will.” The vet nodded. “She’ll get ‘er first vaccination today, and if you want, I can give ‘er a vaccine for feline leukaemia. It’s not a hundred percent guarantee she won’t ever contract the disease, but it’ll give ’er a good chance of avoidin’ it.”
“Give ’er whatever she needs to keep ’er healthy, please.”
The next twenty minutes were filled with my signing Barbara up for pet insurance while she received two vaccinations, a worm dose, had a microchip implanted, a full body assessment, then had her first picture with her veterinarian. I had seen on the waiting room walls that the vet had pictures of hundreds of animals in all different shapes and sizes. Most of the pictures were when a pet was young, then another was years later when the animal was older. I loved that; it showed how trusted the vet was for people to continue to bring their animals to her over the course of their lives.
I looked up at the door when a veterinary nurse entered the room.
“Sorry for interruptin’,” she said to me, then to the vet, she said, “Cora is coverin’ for me; I’m goin’ to help Alec feed the dogs in the kennels.”
“Okay,” the vet said. “Don’t be long.”
The nurse left with a skip with her walk, and the vet chuckled to herself.
“That man has me entire female staff in ribbons.”
Alec Slater.
“You know Alec?”
“Everyone knows Alec.” The vet snickered. “He’s not the type of personality one forgets, and he’s easy on the eyes too.”
I grinned. “Don’t let ’im hear you say that; he’ll get a big head.”
The vet chuckled. “I’m assumin’ you’re acquainted with ’im.”
“Only a little,” I joked. “He’s engaged to one of me best friends.”
“Ah, Keela.” The vet nodded. “He talks about ’er a lot, and by a lot, I mean constantly.”
I grinned. “He’d be lost without ’er.”
“No need to tell me, I believe it,” the vet said. “He’s only been workin’ ’ere officially a little while; after seein’ how good he is with the animals, and how hard workin’ he is, I had to offer ’im a full-time job. The female staff loves ’im whether he is taken or not. He makes everyone laugh, so they all want to be around ’im.”