"But she killed you in the first place," he said, his voice filling with frustration. "She pushed you off that cliff. She's the reason you died! What do you owe her after that?"
"No, you idiot!" Kalliara said, leaning up on her elbows to glare at him. How could he be so dense? "You'rethe reason I died. I didn't want to get raped, so I ran. And when I got to the cliff, I jumped. Happily. Of my own free will, just to get away from you! Athena didn't force me to do that; I chose to die.
At the time, it seemed like the best choice I could make."
"How could death possibly be better than sex with me?" he asked, his voice rising in frustration and confusion.
"Rape is not sex," she said tightly. "You were going to rape me. And when you were done, you were going to give me over to the satyrs and they were going to rape me. And if I was lucky enough to survive that," she continued, her voice cold and mocking, "I would have been torn apart and eaten by Maenads. Instead I died quickly and painlessly. Athena herself caught my spirit, and she took me to my parents. That's hardly unreasonable of her, now is it?"
He looked at her, stunned. Her face was twisted with the force of her anger, and a new emotion hit him.
Shame.
Since meeting Kalliara he had experienced so many strong feelings. Emotions he'd forgotten he still had. Lust. Anger. Regret. Grief. And now shame, the worst of them all.
"I'm so sorry," he said, realizing the words were inadequate. He looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "I wouldn't have turned you over to the satyrs. I would have kept you."
She snorted in disgust, dropping her head back down.
"That is hardly a comfort," she said coldly. "I'm not even real to you, am I?
You say you would have 'kept me.' I'm not an animal, you know. Until very recently I was a free and independent woman. I have my own thoughts and my own dreams. I don't need you to make decisions for me, and I don't want you to save me. The only one I need saving from is you!"
Chapter Eight
She was right.
For the first time, Sabiniano looked at her and realized that, as a human, she had just as many thoughts and emotions as he did…if he respected her, he would have to allow he to make her own decision.
His blood ran cold. He could lose her.
Part of him screamed to stand up and howl, to proclaim his rage across the island. He wanted to tear up trees and frighten his people. He wanted Kalliara to stay with him. But she was going to have to choose him of her own free will, and that wasn't likely to happen.
He could still force her…
Force wasn't an option, he reminded himself. He refused to be that kind of creature again. He had learned; he was better than he was before.
The pain of that realization was almost unbearable.
"I don't want you to leave," he said, his voice filled with raw emotion.
"Will you consider staying with me? At least for a while? I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do."
"Do I have a choice?" she asked dryly.
His heart hardened. Lust and anger welled up within him, and he fought to maintain control. He wanted to roll her under him and fuck her until she screamed. Giving her more freedom went against every instinct he had.
He took a deep breath and spoke.
"Yes, you can leave," he said tightly. "But I don't want you to leave. I want you to consider that death is not the only way out of this situation. Athena has already asked too much of you."
"Athena has never asked anything of me that I wasn't willing to give," she said, turning her face to his. He could see tears welling up in her eyes, and he longed to kiss them away. But that wouldn't solve anything.
"I will let you go," he said. "But I ask something in return. I ask that you give me the chance to convince you to join me. I won't force anything on you, but I want you to truly consider what it would be like to stay here."
"Sabiniano, it's not a question of wanting to stay," she said softly. "I don't hate sex, I'm not frigid. Don't you think I know what it is to burn in the night? I choose abstinence because my goddess asks her followers to share her discipline. It has nothing to do with refusing sex for its own sake. I need to avoid temptation to stay true to Athena."
"If Athena wants you to die for her, won't she give you the strength to stand up to temptation?" he asked. "Have you considered that maybe she doesn't want you to die? Have you considered that giving her one life is enough of a sacrifice?"
Kalliara looked confused for a moment, then laughed.
"You're just trying to confuse me," she said. She reached out and touched his face lightly. Her fingers were soft as a butterfly's wings, but they sent a chill all the way to his groin, and he shivered.
"Kalliara, let me kiss you," he said softly. "If you let me kiss you, then I'll escort you to the village and you can see your friends."
"Will you let me go alone?" she asked, testing his newfound tolerance.
"If you let me kiss you," he replied, trying not to growl.
"It's a deal," she replied, blushing slightly.
He leaned over to her, and carefully brushed her lips with his. He knew she was expecting an assault on her senses, so he kept his touch light. He kissed first her upper lip, then moved along to the corner of her mouth. His tongue darted out, tracing the line of her lips without pushing further.
He dropped his head lower, kissing along her chin. She was breathing quickly, and he could see her pulse beating in the delicate contours of her neck. He brought his mouth back up to her lips.
This time she met him, her own lips softening under his touch, and he held back a sigh of triumph. She was definitely responding to him. He nipped at her lips, laving them with his tongue.
"Open for me," he whispered. "I need you."
She did as he asked, and he gently probed her. Her tongue met his shyly. They danced around each other, and he could feel his arousal building. How long would he be able to keep this up? He needed to roll her under him, to plunge into her. Hard. He needed to ride her until they were both gasping for air, whimpering with need.
Instead, he pulled away, deliberately ending the kiss before he lost control.
"Go to the village," he whispered. She nodded her head, clearly shaken.
"I'll be back this evening," she said. "If I choose. If I don't come back, will you let me stay with my friends?"
"No," he said, his face darkening. "I'm willing to give some freedom, but not that. If you're going to make a true choice, I need the opportunity to convince you to stay here. I can't do that if I never see you. Be back by sundown."
"All right," she said quietly. She raised herself slowly to her feet. The tunic she wore was dry, but she was still barefoot. He thought about that night he’d chased her through the trees, following the scent of blood from her cut feet, and guilt tore through him yet again.
"Come to the temple and I'll find you some sandals," he said.
"No, I'll walk from here and get new ones in the village," she replied tartly. "I can go by myself."
"What about your feet?"
"They're pretty tough," she replied, laughing. "At least when I'm not being chased. I'm a village girl, remember? I grew up running barefoot around this island."
He had the grace to look away, ashamed. But she simply laughed again.
"I'm not angry about it anymore, Sabiniano," she said, her voice growing kind. "You are who you are. I guess being dead has changed my perspective a bit. Dying doesn't take long, and the underworld is a good place. I won't be unhappy when I have to go back."