Trust was a flickering fire, so easily put out. So few people had earned its warmth after her parents' death. Only Jake, and he too was dying.
Jake needs you Nikki. I need you.
She closed her eyes against the pain in his entreaty. Michael didn't need her. He didn't need anyone.
Maybe that was half her problem. He could walk away, and it wouldn't matter to him.
But Jake had to live. He couldn't die because of her.
Come to me Nikki. Let me save you. For Jake's sake, if not for mine.
She spun in confusion, afraid to go forward and afraid to go back. The warm light pulsed, healing and calming. She sighed. Here at last was the peace she had searched so long for. It would be so easy to give in to its warmth. Easy, but was it right? She didn't know, and that scared her more than the thought of dying.
Forgive me, Nikki. I can't let you do this.
Something grabbed her soul and yanked her down into darkness. The golden light began to recede. She wept and reached out towards it, a desperate swimmer fighting the tide pulling her away. Her efforts were ignored. The light disappeared, and she was thrust through layers of darkness and gathering pain.
Then the red mist enclosed her brain and swept her away.
Chapter Sixteen
Michael?
The harsh whisper ran through his mind. He closed his eyes and leaned back in the armchair. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, particularly Seline. Yet she was the one person who might understand. He sighed and silently acknowledged her probe.
Michael, what have you done?
He smiled grimly. What had he done? Even now, he wasn't entirely sure. He'd risked his life and cheated death, but until Nikki regained consciousness, he wouldn't know if it were all worth it. There could be aftereffects, either from her drowning or his own intervention. There was a very real possibility he might have destroyed the fire he was trying to save.
He raised the beer, taking a long drink. It didn't ease the burning in his throat.
Michael?
Worry shot through Seline's mental tones. He sighed again. She'd be out to Lyndhurst in a flash if he didn't start answering. The last thing he needed was a face-to-face confrontation with the old witch.
Here.
Michael, what on earth have you done? Half the circle has had visions of you in trouble.
And it was unusual enough for Seline to worry. No doubt his ice cool reputation had been shot all to hell, as well.
I think I've fallen in love, Seline.
Heavens, boy, I knew that ages ago. Just answer the question, or I'll come over in person and box your ears.
The threat made him smile, as she no doubt intended. Seline barely reached his shoulders, and was a thin, frail-looking woman. But she didn't look the one hundred and eighty years Michael knew her to be, and she certainly didn't act it.
We've known each other a long time, Michael. I thought trust was part of what we shared.
Trust wasn't his problem. Would she understand the sheer desperation that had made him act as he had?
Would she accept his need to break a vow? Understand that he might lose Nikki anyway, because of his actions?
She was dying, Seline. I shared my psyche with her.
Made her live, against her will. He closed his eyes and took another long gulp of beer.
The sudden tension down the mental lines told him Seline understood the risk he'd taken.
Dear heavens, Michael, are you all right?
Exhausted. Weak. But alive.Obviously.
Can you cope with Jasper? Will you have the strength?
I'll cope.And Jasper would pay for every ounce of pain he'd put Nikki through.
Is she… all right?
Michael opened his eyes and studied Nikki's still features. She lay unmoving on the bed, her skin almost translucent, as if still held by the specter of death. He couldn't reach her mind, couldn't open the link between them, and it worried him.
I don't know.
How did all this happen?
Jasper set a trap, using Nikki's boss as bait.
That Jake still lived was a miracle. With the injuries he'd sustained, he'd have to be surviving on sheer force of will alone. But such courage deserved respect. Michael hoped the hospital could work a miracle.
Not just for Nikki's sake, but his own. Jake was a rare find in this day and age—someone who looked beyond fear, beyond humanity, to see the person that lay beneath.
Do you need a hand? Gail's available.
I'll handle it.
But—
I said I'll handle it.
Concern ran down the link. Are you sure? Gail's ready to go.
The bastard's mine!
Her thoughts recoiled from the force of his anger, and he cursed. Lashing out at his friends would help no one, least of all Nikki.
Sorry.
I understand, Michael. Just be careful. You're no good to your Nikki if you make yourself so damn weak you can barely stand.
I know.He took another gulp of beer. What the hell am I going to do once all this is over?
What do you think you should so? What do you want to do?
What he should do and what he wanted to do were two very different things.
They don't have to be, Michael. She's a very resilient young woman. She'd fit nicely into our circle.
And have her share his world of darkness? As much as he ached to do just that, to finally have someone to walk by his side, it wasn't right or fair to ask her to do so. Darkness had been too much a part of her life already.
You should at least give her the opportunity to refuse, Michael.
She doesn't want me in her life. She doesn't want anyone in her life.
Amusement filtered down the line. That sounds terribly familiar. Wonder where I've heard that before?
He smiled. I have to leave her. I have no real choice.
Believe an old witch when she says the future is clouded when it comes to the two of you. There is no clear-cut choice here, no right or wrong.
He ran a hand through his hair. Fat lot of good that advice does me.
Then listen to your heart Michael. It may be buried deep, but I know it's there somewhere. Now get something to eat before you fade into shadow.
She broke the contact. He sighed and finished the rest of his beer. Seline was right. If he couldn't touch Nikki's mind now, after all they'd shared, what hope did Jasper have?
He pushed out of the chair that had been his home for the last thirty-six hours and walked across to the window. The late afternoon light washed through the lace curtains. Even in his weakened state, the sun held no threat.
But fatigue did.
He had to eat, had to regain strength as quickly as he could. When he finally caught Jasper, he had to be fit enough to take him.
The bastard had to pay.
She floated in a soothing sea of darkness, a world without sound, without worry. At peace. Yet something within was restless, needing to be gone from this place.
A voice called, but she turned away, not wanting to confront the pain it represented. The voice would not be ignored. It filled her mind, demanding her return, relentless in its pursuit. Stirred to life, she finally woke and opened her eyes.