Daniel and Daughter

'There was no card. It might not have been you.'

'Who else sends you flowers? Tell me his name. I'll kill him!'

She joined in his laughter, but through the joking she could sense his nervousness.

'I'm sorry,' he said at last. 'I shouldn't have lost my temper and said the things I did. Forgive me, darling, please.'

'Of course,' she said at once, feeling joy flood through her. It was as though the man she loved had gone away for a time, but now he'd come back to her and she remembered afresh all the things that made him indescribably dear.

'Can you come here tonight?' he pleaded. 'I want to see you as soon as possible.'

'I'll come as soon as I've finished,' she said eagerly.

Everything was forgotten, including the sad and bitter thoughts that had tormented her. She hardly knew how she got through the rest of her work, but at last she was out of the door, hurrying to her car, her heart beating with anticipation as she threaded her way through the streets to Daniel's house.

The last time she'd come here he'd watched for her and opened the door, ready to do battle. Now it happened again, but this time everything was different. There was no anger in his eyes, but something else that stopped her heart. As soon as he'd pulled her inside his arms were around her, his lips on hers, and nothing else existed.

'Tell me everything's all right,' he begged. 'Say that you still love me.'

'Yes-yes-' The words became lost.

He kissed her with irresistible force, crushing her against him in an enveloping embrace. She kissed him back, swept by the need to reassure herself that he was still there, still Daniel, still hers.

'Never frighten me like that again,' he growled against her mouth, and immediately the pressure off his lips cut off her reply.

They clung to each other as if they'd been apart for years, as in a way they had. Their estrangement had been a great chasm across which they hadn't yet fully passed. The first quarrel had been a bitter shock to them both, and they were asking anxious questions about how they'd survived. The problems still lay in waiting for them, like rocks beneath the water, but for the moment they wouldn't think of them. It was hard to remember that she'd ever been the unhappy woman of the last few days, the woman who'd pretended that she was still safe. Daniel's words, 'there's no safe place in love', came hazily back to her. She'd tried to love him without leaving her safe place and discovered that it wasn't possible.

She tightened her arms round him and felt his answering embrace.

'It's all right,' he murmured. 'I'm here.'

'I'm so glad,' she said softly. 'Everything's all right if you're here.'

'Everything's all right,' he repeated. 'We're back together. We've had our first and last quarrel. It's over now and it'll never happen again.'

'No,' she said, holding him. 'It'll never happen again.'

He swept her up into his arms and began to mount the stairs. 'No more words, woman,' he growled in mock caveman style.

'Suppose Phoebe-?'

'She's out with your brother. I loaned him my car for the evening.'

'You shameless manipulator.'

'Yes, aren't I?' he said against her mouth. 'Now I don't want to think about either of them for a long time.' He kicked the door of the bedroom closed and laid her down gently on the bed. 'Lee, my darling…'

They undressed and fell onto the bed, seeking each other urgently, eager to find that the love which had always been so perfect before was a magic talisman to make trouble disappear.

At first it almost seemed as though they might succeed. The passion was there, undimmed, that fever in the flesh that briefly blotted out all else. Daniel made love to her more tenderly than ever before, whispering his love and need as he kissed her repeatedly. Yet gradually she sensed that something was still wrong. They were repeating the caresses and words of other lovings with a kind of ritual intensity, as though trying to recall memories. As though they were afraid of the here and now.

At the moment of greatest passion, the moment when their union had always been most complete and beautiful, she looked into his face and saw something like desperation, as though he would force everything to be right between them by sheer effort of will. Yet it couldn't be done, and they both knew it. The crack had been papered over but not mended.

Afterwards, as the pounding of her heart subsided, she lay in his arms, clinging to him tightly, not wanting to face the truth. They'd come back together because it was too painful to be apart, but their differences could still drive them asunder.

For now, they could pretend. They could speak in normal voices, laugh and kiss and carry on their lives, hoping that, with care, the fracture wouldn't grow larger. And if they didn't look too deeply into each other's eyes they might not see their mutual fear reflected.

At last Daniel sighed and said, 'There's nothing I can do about Phoebe, is there? We had another row today. I put my foot down but it simply went through the floor, so to speak. She's determined to defy me

But it's not your fault,' he added quickly. 'I must have gone wrong somewhere.'

'She's not defying you because you went wrong,' Lee explained gently. 'She's defying you because you're trying to stop her pursuing her heart's desire. You can't do that, and you shouldn't want to. But you can stop her leaving home.'

'Not now she's sixteen and can earn her way,' he said in a brooding voice. 'She had the law about that at her fingertips.'

'Daniel, forget about the law. I mean you must stop her wanting to leave home. Don't drive her out with hostility. Be friendly and understanding-'

'You mean put up with it and smile? Pretend it's all right when it isn't?'

'Yes, that's just what I mean. It's part of being a parent, especially when your child has achieved independence. If you make the wrong move now you could lose her for life.'

He groaned. 'I suppose you're right, but how do you know all this? Sonya isn't old enough for you to be talking from experience.'

'In one way she is. Whenever she goes to visit Jimmy I have to fight the temptation to plead, "Don't believe anything he tells you". I plan excuses why she can't go, because I'm afraid she might not come back.'

'And do you ever actually try to stop her?'

'Never. And she always comes back. Sooner or later there's a point when the only way you can keep your children is to open your hands and set them free.'

'It might not be so bad,' he conceded reluctantly,'if she goes on living here-and when she's working for you, you can keep an eye on her.'

'Yes, but Daniel-'

'You know who all the bad apples are, too-I mean the photographers that a young girl ought to avoid. You could tell this agency not to get her jobs with them.'

'I won't need to. It's a good agency. They'll protect her.'

'But if you tell them to assign her exclusively to you-'

'I thought you didn't want her working for me?'

'That's all changed,' he said impatiently. 'Yes, now I see how it can be-'

'Daniel, stop this!' Lee said firmly. 'You're doing it again.'

'Doing what?'

'Arranging Phoebe's life-and organising my professional diary as well. Darling, you can't do that. I'll use Phoebe if she's right for what I need, and if she isn't, I won't. And I certainly won't be telling Mulroy & Collitt what to do with their own client. The best way to protect Phoebe is for you to be nice to her so that she comes home to you every night. Make sure she knows you're always there for her. And then let go and shut up!'

He glared at her in displeasure. But at last a reluctant grin broke over his face. 'Maybe I'm being unnecessarily gloomy,' he conceded. 'How many new models try to break in every year?'

'Hundreds,' Lee said.

'And how many hit the big time?'

'One or two.'

'So with any luck she'll get just a few bookings and the whole thing will trickle to a halt.'

'So you're hoping for her to fail?' Lee said indignantly. 'That's nice, isn't it? How would Phoebe feel if she knew?'