Imagine my astonishment when I came home the next day to find a whole feline family on my bed. So that’s where she had disappeared to the night before! Hiding herself from people, in the dark and in secret, she had given birth to three kittens and brought them back to me. I was rather touched that the cat had considered she could trust me with her newborn kittens. To cut a long story short, she has been living for a month now on my blue sweater together with Alef, Betka, and Shin. As regards Shin, I have some doubts about him and think that he may yet turn out to be Shina.
Now I have to provide for an entire family. When I come back in the evenings, I bring a carton of milk for Ketzele (as I have called the cat) and some leftovers from dinner, if I have happened to dine that day. Oh, and I have omitted to mention one very important thing. In the light of day, my cat has proved a rare beauty. She is fairly dark gray in color and has an especially fluffy white patch of fur on her chest. One ear is white, which makes her look rather flirtatious. She is very fastidious and spends half the day washing and grooming herself and her kittens. If only I could train her to clean the room she would make an excellent cleaner. On top of that she is highly intelligent. She has somehow detected that keeping animals in the monastery is prohibited and behaves like a specter. To this day nobody has seen her, and I, too, pretend not to see her, so that when the hegumen asks me what this delightful creature is doing in my room, I will say I hadn’t noticed her.
No, unfortunately I will not be able to say that because I am a monk and monks are not allowed to lie. That is really unfair, because everybody I know does just occasionally tell a little white lie, but I am not supposed to. No doubt that moment will sooner or later arrive, so I need to think about the fate of the entire family.
I am planning to negotiate with my brother over this but am not sure the negotiations will be successful. As you know, I constantly disagree with your father about all sorts of things. Here, though, I am counting on his kind heart, and for some reason I am sure of Milka’s support.
The fate of the kittens is already almost decided. One will be taken by my assistant, Hilda, a second by her friend Musa, and a third perhaps by a sister from Tiberias.
My love to you, dear niece. Ketzele sends you her very best wishes and hopes you will get well soon.
Your Dodo,
Daniel
23. November 1990, Freiburg
F
ROM A TALK BY
B
ROTHER
D
ANIEL
S
TEIN TO SCHOOLCHILDREN
A direct link with the ghetto was established through Moshe Milshtein. I soon started stealing firearms from the store in the police station attic. These were mainly captured Soviet weapons. Forwarding them to the ghetto was not easy, especially the rifles. Every item taken from the store I first hid in the garden, then tied it in the evening to my bicycle frame, wrapped it in rags, and cycled home by a roundabout route past the castle. Near a hole in the wall, young people were waiting to take the gun from me. I never once went into the ghetto. A number of those living there were already aware that they were marked for extermination and wanted weapons in order to defend themselves and their families. My view was that they needed to decide on a mass break-out. I knew that the partisans included local Communists, escaped Red Army soldiers, and Jews from the ghetto, but at first those still in the ghetto would not listen to me. Many had had bitter experiences in their dealings with non-Jewish fellow citizens, who had betrayed to the Germans both Jews and Red Army soldiers who had escaped the encirclement. In any case, the people in the ghetto were far from certain that the partisans would welcome them with open arms.
In the end they no longer had any choice. In late July 1942, I was present when Major Reinhold was talking on the telephone. His concluding sentence was, “Jawohl. Operation Iodine will take place on thirteen of August!” I knew immediately what was meant. The major said to me, “Dieter, you are the only witness of this conversation. If anything leaks out, you will bear full responsibility!”
I replied, “Jawohl!”
I had very warm relations with Reinhold. He was old enough to be my father. He had sons in Germany and there was something paternal in his attitude toward me. Like me, his oldest son was called Dieter. Believe me, I got on very well with Reinhold, better than with his subordinates. I knew he respected my honesty, so by doing my duty as a human being I would be betraying this man personally, as well as signing my own death warrant.
When I entered service in the police I had to swear an oath of allegiance to the Führer. Later, as a Russian partisan, I swore allegiance to Stalin, but these oaths were invalid because they were sworn under duress. Breaking them was the price I paid to save not only my own life but the lives of other people.
Among the situations I was fated to experience, some were tragic, some painful, and some very frightening. I can talk about them now, although I do so reluctantly. Nevertheless, I believe I should share these experiences with you because there is no knowing in advance what kind of situations a person may face in their life.
I reported the planned operation to the couriers that same evening. They were determined to defend themselves with the weapons I had given them but I managed to persuade them that that was pointless. They had far too few firearms and would all be killed. It was considerably more important that at least some of them should be saved. That mattered more than shooting back for ten minutes at the Belorussians and Germans who would be coming to destroy the ghetto. I managed to persuade my contacts they should attempt to escape, but the ghetto’s affairs were managed by the Judenrat, and it was for the Judenrat to take the decision.
Was I afraid? I don’t remember. I adapted to the circumstances and they dictated my actions. I had an awareness of bearing responsibility for many people, and accepting responsibility is more important than carrying out orders. I thank God for endowing me with that ability.
The date of the breakout had to be agreed upon and the night of ninth of August was chosen. The Judenrat was not in favor of the plan and granted permission only for those in the resistance group to escape. The old gentlemen were still hoping that the Belorussian official they had bribed would save everybody.
The day before the escape, I fed my chief a false report that that night a group of partisans would be passing through a village located to the south. This was in the opposite direction to the vast and almost impenetrable forest into which the ghetto dwellers intended to flee. All the police and gendarmes went off to catch the partisans, leaving behind only four men at the police station. The ghetto was not being patrolled. Along with the other policemen, I sat all night in a futile ambush waiting for the promised partisans.
We returned early in the morning. At eight o’clock I was already at the police station when the agitated Burgomeister came to tell my chief three hundred Jews had escaped from the ghetto. As always, I translated. Major Reinhold asked why that had happened and the Burgomeister told him Jews were being shot in one place after another and those in the ghetto had decided their turn had come. The previous day peasants had come wanting to buy their furniture, and the people in the ghetto had taken fright. The chief ordered sentries to be posted to secure those who were still there.
When I heard only three hundred people had escaped, my heart sank. Why had they not all broken out? I had hoped to save the whole ghetto! It was only many years later that I learned the details of the tragedy which occurred the following night. To this day it is a source of great pain.