Our visit to Moscow as we were leaving was a real turning point. Marvelous Father Mikhail, with whom Efim had long been in contact, in part advising him on bibliographical matters, gave us great comfort and strength. He is an ecclesiastical writer and his books are published abroad. It was precisely in connection with this that Efim gave him advice. There is a very large theological library in Vilnius, all in German, which was left intact and they did not even make an inventory. Efim drew from it much of the information for Father Mikhail’s works on biblical theology. Incidentally, Father Mikhail spoke of you with great warmth. He rates your translations and articles very highly. He also gave us a number of addresses which he told us to learn by heart. He warned that address and notebooks, and also old letters, diaries, and manuscripts, in short anything in handwriting on paper is often confiscated at the border, so that all the most important things have to be committed to memory. Naturally, this was no difficulty for Efim. We thus gained a number of leads to believers of goodwill for whom Father Mikhail is a great authority. Efim said that he had never enjoyed talking to anybody more and regretted that their meetings had only ever been sporadic.
Everything is turning out exactly as Father Mikhail had warned, starting with the Orthodox brethren whose reception of Efim was far from friendly. The Russian Orthodox Church owns many churches in Israel, several monasteries, and accordingly lands. The Russian Church Abroad also has its representation, and indeed many Christian denominations have their own churches, monasteries, and, in a word, property in the Holy Land.
Efim went to the Moscow Patriarchate with a letter from his abbot to a certain highly placed cleric but it turned out that he had been recalled, so then he went to see his replacement. He perused the letter, was very unforthcoming, and said there were no vacancies and that priests were appointed from Moscow. I might add the detail everybody knows, which is, of course, that appointments require the blessing of the KGB! Efim was no use to him, although he told him to leave his application in the office.
Quite differently, one of the contacts Father Mikhail had recommended responded to our postcard immediately, phoned and invited us to visit. This was Father Daniel Stein, a Catholic priest from Haifa, but we have not had time to visit him so far. Next week I am planning to visit Mother Ioanna, also on Father Mikhail’s recommendation. I think you knew her at one time.
Dear Valentina Ferdinandovna, I cannot tell you what a strange state of suspension I am living in at present, like a speck of dust in a sunbeam. What a joy it is that fate has presented me with Efim as my life’s companion. He continues to reveal unexpected, touching characteristics. He helped me so much in the last years in Vilnius when all that unpleasantness began and impressed me as a strong, purposeful man. Now his weakness in the face of the world and his helplessness have been revealed to me. He is completely at a loss when confronted with dishonesty and insolence. He is pained by avarice and cynicism, and we have found that in some practical senses I am the stronger.
I gladly serve him in every way possible. He shows great tact, does not allow me to wash his underwear, and when I was cleaning the windows, he stayed close by because he was afraid I might fall from the second floor. Our relations are pure and nothing darkens them.
Efim is at present in a state of complete uncertainty as regards work. His only hope is to find a job with a certain religious publishing house in Europe, again through the good offices of Father Mikhail.
I fear I shall not have another opportunity of sending you such a complete letter any time soon. All that is sent through the post has necessarily to be very reserved. Write, I beg you! Write, in spite of the poverty of my letters. May the Lord be with you.
Your sister,
Teresa
34. 1980, Jerusalem
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OANNA TO
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ATHER
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IKHAIL
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ISHKINO
Father,
Whom did you send me? A beautiful woman with curly hair and her head uncovered turned up and said she came from you. She gave her name as Teresa. She says that the telephone number and address of Ir. Al. which you gave them has now changed and they can’t contact her. She asked me for her new address and telephone number. Can you imagine, she said to me, “I know you have links with that publishing house!” Why did you tell her that, Father? Please remember, you must never say a word more than is necessary to anybody here: everybody spies on everybody else, and slip-ups are not forgiven. What if she had said that in the presence of somebody else? I did not give her the address, but decided to ask you about her first. I showed her the convent, took her around everywhere, and went down to the cemetery. In the church she prayed, crossing herself from left to right! Why have you sent me this Catholic? You know, we should help everybody but we have many of our own people in need. It is said, first you give to children and only after that to the dogs.
The Lord be with you.
Mother Ioanna
35. 1981
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ETTER FROM
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ERESA TO
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ALENTINA
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ERDINANDOVNA
Dear Valentina Ferdinandovna,
You are the only thread left which binds me to home. Perhaps it’s foolish to say that. Where is home in my situation? For me, a half-Pole, half-Lithuanian, home is anywhere they speak Russian.
Our situation remains unclear. Efim has not lost hope of finding a job he can put his heart into. You know what I mean. He was offered retraining classes: the choice was between computer programming and plumbing. In desperation he went to the mission of the Russian Orthodox Church Abroad and was received very courteously. He talked to the head of the mission, a pleasant-looking archimandrite who was a considerable improvement on the official who received him at the Moscow Patriarchate, but they, too, had no vacancies. All he could offer was for him to transfer to their jurisdiction with the right to participate in their service. That was it.
For the time being we are being paid welfare benefits. I’m finding learning the language very hard going and envy Efim his flair.
One of my neighbors suggested I should work as a cleaner, not officially but privately. It seems a good offer but I’m not ready to accept it yet. At least my vocabulary has increased by one word, “nikayon.” Cleaning.
It is particularly upsetting that Efim was relying on help from his abbot. He wrote him a letter but so far has had no reply. What he misses most is being cut off from libraries, because for his peace of mind he needs to be sitting somewhere he is surrounded by books.
The only good thing in spiritual terms is our acquaintance with Father Daniel, which also came with your kind help and on the recommendation of Father Mikhail. Unfortunately we have not yet managed to make contact with the publishing house: the nun we went to see on his recommendation was very unhelpful and said that she couldn’t give us the address at present but might do so later.
Father Daniel, on the other hand, is an exceptional man. Unfortunately he lives quite far away and it takes three hours and two changes of bus to get there, but we have visited him several times already. He has a small Catholic community in Haifa and gives help to anybody in difficulty. Believe it or not, he speaks excellent Polish and even knows Lithuanian. The first time I went on my own, without Efim. He received me as if I was a member of his family. I have to say he bears little resemblance to any monks I had dealings with before: he emanates a kind of Franciscan joy, although he doesn’t look like St. Francis at all, except that he had a cat in his lap which he stroked affectionately behind its ear. His outward appearance is very modest. He is short, with small round eyes, and a mouth with prominent lips like a baby. He doesn’t go around in a soutane but in crumpled trousers and a baggy sweater and looks more like a gardener or a market trader than a priest. No matter what I said to him he responded, “Oh, you poor dear, oh, my dear …” At the end he asked for Efim to come and see him as there was something he wanted to talk to him about. I told Efim and he agreed, only we don’t know when he’ll be able to, because he is very busy. Daniel is a man of exceptionally broad views, but Efim is a bit prejudiced against Catholics and will not agree to take communion there if he can possibly avoid it.