His face creased in concern. “You aren’t going to marry him are you?”
No way in hell would she marry Baxter. But some little devil inside her urged her to keep Dylan guessing. “I’ll have to listen to what he has to say.”
He took her hand. “Gracie, don’t do it. He’s not good enough for you.”
She would have liked to let him stew about it a bit longer, but the idea of marriage to Baxter was too repulsive to even joke about, and Dylan had too many other things on his mind to see the humor in anything. “You seem to have this mistaken idea that I’m better than other mortals, but I’m not. I don’t deserve any more than any other woman, and it’s my business to make sure I don’t settle for less than I want. Believe me, Dylan, I won’t.”
“Good for you.” He smiled a sad smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I hope you get whatever that is.”
“So do I.” She met his gaze straight up until his filled with such anguish she had to look away.
He rubbed the nape of his neck and took a step back. “I think I love you,” he said, although the admission made him look green around the edges. “But love wasn’t enough for my father. Or Uncle Arthur. I’m not sure it would be enough for me either, but I know I couldn’t live with myself if I caused the people I cared about this kind of pain.”
“Nothing worthwhile comes with a written guarantee.”
He shook his head, and she knew he’d have to discover the truth on his own. She hoped she wasn’t too old to enjoy it, if, and when, he did.
They could stand there tossing what ifs back and forth for hours and never come to a satisfactory resolution. But she couldn’t take the anguish a moment longer, and he had someone else who needed him.
“You need to go,” she said, ready to deal with the parts of her own life that required tending. “But think about this. I do love you, and I’m absolutely sure about it.”
Before she stepped out of reach, he pulled her into his arms and kissed the living daylights out of her. She read into the kiss the certainty of all the emotions he seemed uncertain about and tucked the memory away to examine more closely later. Her head reeled when he finally released her. He threw Baxter a mocking salute and climbed into the car.
“Take care,” Gracie whispered. “Fly safely.”
She closed her eyes as he drove away. The last thing she needed was to watch one more person she loved leaving her behind.
A week later, Dylan sat beside his sister’s bed and watched her cradle his niece in the crook of her arm. After an emergency C-section, a nerve-wracking delivery that scared him half to death, both mother and child were doing well.
“Do you mind that I named her Margaret after Mother?” Natalie ran a gentle finger over the baby’s duck fluff hair.
“I hoped you would.”
“Linc and Josh are already calling her Maggie, though, which doesn’t sound so stuffy for an infant.”
“Linc’s been flying high, every time I see him.” Dylan chuckled at the memory of his brother-in-law, grinning like a clown, laden with armloads of flowers, toys, and balloons.
“I know.” She blessed him with one of her Madonna-with-Child smiles. “You don’t know this yet, but the very best days of your life are the days your children are born.”
“Don’t know it and am unlikely to find out.” Unless Gracie is pregnant.
Would she know by now? Probably not.
Would she contact him if she were pregnant? Probably not.
He’d called to tell her that Natalie had delivered a little girl and all was well, but he’d gotten her voicemail. He’d called Liberty House and left the same message with Nora who said she’d pass the news along. He hadn’t heard a word from Gracie.
He was itching to call and talk to her in person. But a phone call was so much less then he wanted from her and so much more than he wanted to risk.
“Oh, Dylan, no,” Natalie protested. “Why not?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” He was too depressed to deny the truth. “The Bradford men are not good husband and father material.”
She huffed her displeasure. “You are if you want to be. Nothing in your supposed ‘genes’ say otherwise. You can’t use other people’s mistakes to justify your own chicken behavior.”
“Chicken behavior! Who are you calling chicken? I’ve had more death-defying adventures in the past six months than you’ve had in the past ten years.”
“Mountain climbing, race car driving, skydiving? So what? You don’t do anything that tests your heart.”
“You’re right about that. My heart would fail the test.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” she insisted. “I know you. I knew our father, too. He was wonderful with both of us, and I’m just as certain that he loved our mother.”
“But that wasn’t enough.”
“Enough for whom? It may not have been enough for you, for your suddenly exalted standards, and it may not have been perfect, but it was more than enough for Mom and Dad.”
God, he hoped so. He hated thinking of his mother concealing her pain to maintain her marriage. “Do you think Mother knew about Dad and Karen?” He asked the questions that had been eating at him and all week. “Do you think there were others?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Married couples make mistakes, and they make their peace in their own way. I think Mother would have weighed the good with the bad and found more to the good. But it was her choice. And one thing I know for sure is that neither one of them would have wanted either one of us to let their experiences affect us in a negative way.”
What she said made sense, but then, in his heart, he wanted to be persuaded. “And what about Uncle Arthur and Aunt Delia?”
“Oh, dear, it’s so sad about them. They’re both taking it hard that Frank is moving to California. Aunt Delia’s talking divorce, but Uncle Arthur’s trying to win her back. I don’t know what would be best.” She sighed and moved the baby to her shoulder.
“I’m not going to file an insurance claim on the cabin. That might keep him out of jail on the arson charge.”
“Very generous. I hoped that’s what you’d decide.”
“That doesn’t let him off the hook though.” He scowled. “And I didn’t do it for him.”
“No, but if they’re ever to have a life together again, it’s a start.”
“How can you be so damn nice all the time?” A talent inherited from their mother. “Are you and Linc truly happy?”
“We truly are. Yesterday, yes. Today, yes. But tomorrow? Who knows? I think we will be, but things happen.”
“How can you stand not knowing?”
“Because we’ve pledged our lives to one another and to our children and that’s enough for me.” She held her hand out to him. “When it comes to a commitment, sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump. Are you sure there isn’t someone out there who would be worth the risk for you?”
Memories of russet curls and dark brown eyes seared his brain. Involuntarily, he pictured Gracie with a baby in her arms, looking all content and maternal. Again, he had no difficulty picturing her as a wife or a mother. He just couldn’t see her as his wife or the mother of his children.
Like hell, he couldn’t. Suddenly, he couldn’t see anything else.
“Maybe there is.” He stood up and kissed his sister and her new baby. “Just maybe. If I haven’t blown it completely.”
“Don’t wait too long to find out, okay?”
How long was too long? How long was long enough? If he went to Gracie now, what would she say? What would she do? The uncertainty gnawed at him, but his hunger for Gracie grew.
“Victoria will be here next week, you know.”
“Who?”
“Linc’s cousin, remember?”
“I do, Natalie, but I’m sorry. She sounded perfect for me, and I wanted to give her a chance, for your sake, but introduce her to someone else, will you? Maybe she’d like to meet Ryan Eastland. With any luck, I’ve already met my fate.”