rained down and once more covered the earth with a pristine white blanket.
For the first time, Syndil turned her head, her large, dark eyes soft-almost liquid. A ghost of a smile curved her mouth, drawing his attention to the beautiful shape of her lips, and his heart clenched, a vise squeezing hard enough to hurt. All those years he had spent with her, never once realizing she had been driving his need for sex. Never once had he looked at her any way other than as a foster sister, yet all along she had kept his emotions safeguarded. It was no wonder that not once had he been satisfied with another woman. It had become laughable over the centuries, the terrible need clawing at him until he thought he might go insane if he didn't touch a woman's skin, bury his body deep within hers. There had been so many willing, yet he was trapped in some kind of mindless torment, needing them-yet none could fulfill his desires.
At times, Syndil still felt he had betrayed her, but at last he understood the endless cycle that had been happening to him. Looking at her, inhaling her scent, the brush of her hair or fingers turned his body into a hard painful ache that only she could assuage. He'd had a hard-on for so many years he could no longer count, and looking at her only made it happen all over again. Only now she was his-a gentle, sexy woman he didn't deserve, but who somehow managed to love him all the same.
«What are you thinking about, Barack? You look sad.»
One did not lie to one's lifemate. In any case, she had only to touch his mind to know. «I remember the precise moment I realized that it was you arousing my body to such a painful ache. You stood by a stream brushing out your long hair. I found myself fascinated with every stroke of the brush and wishing I could feel your hair against my bare skin. I wanted to lose myself in all that silk, and I knew you had been the one I wanted all along-it was you I'd been searching for among so many women.»
«How long ago was that?»
«We were in France.»
«That was fifty years ago.»
He nodded. «I thought what I felt was wrong. We were children together, a family. It seemed-distasteful. I was afraid I was tainted in some way. I would watch you after that; every move you made seemed sensual, seductive. And I hated the men watching you– coming close to you.»
«But you still went off with other women.»
He shook his head. «I kept up the illusion, but I already had had too many unfulfilled nights. What was the use? Other women no longer drew me once I figured out what was happening.»
«I saw you.» There was pain in her voice, and it made him wince.
«You saw me flirt and walk off. I took blood and left them with false memories. The nights were torment, Syndil. Sometimes I thought I was in hell.» He reached out his hand to her. «I had a terrible secret and I could never share with anyone. I lusted after you to the point that I could not let you get too close to me. I was always afraid someone would discover the way I felt about you. At the time I would have given anything that it was just lust, easily satisfied. It was so much more-is so much more.»
«Why didn't you tell me?»
«A Carpathian male should always-always be in control of himself. We wield too much power to be ruled by anything but our brains. I could not control my body or my thoughts when I was close to you.» He ran his fingers through his hair. «I know everything about you, Syndil. The way you tilt your head just slightly when you're considering whether or not you are going to participate in a conversation. You tug on your left earlobe when you are worried. You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. I know you're so fragile and yet at the same time, you are incredibly strong.»
A slow smile chased the worried frown from his face. «I always walk behind you to the stage so later, when I'm alone, I can feel the sway of your hips and the brush of your hair.»
«You never told me this.»
He rubbed his lower jaw. «It is a little humiliating to admit I have been obsessed with you. And when I knew I couldn't take it anymore, that I had to admit the truth, even if it meant leaving our family, you were attacked by Savon, our trusted brother.»
Syndil glanced away from him, back toward the stream. The water ran cold and clean, all traces of the poison gone. Barack followed her gaze and as always, when he saw the result of her work, it left him feeling humble and proud of her.
«Syndil, there is no one in this world who can do as you've done. Do you have any idea how amazing you are?»
She looked out over the blackened ruins of the battle-scarred land. «There is much to be done here. Our enemies left their poison in the ground to work its way beneath the soil where we rest. If they can turn the earth against us, they have won.»
Barack's head went up alertly. She sounded so weary. The energy needed to heal large sections of land destroyed by fire or foul vampire magic was enormous, and he had very little idea of the toll it would take on her to heal what the undead had wrought here with the size of such devastation. She looked pale, her eyes almost too large for her face. She pressed her hands to her chest as if her heart ached. «Syndil.» He reached out his hand to her. «Come here to me.»
He waited. His heart beating, a small part of him praying she would step forward, eager for his touch, for his aid, but as always, there was that tiny, brief moment of hesitation, the
wariness in her eyes, the shadow in her mind she could no longer hide from him. She crossed the distance to him, reaching out. His fingers closed around hers, and he drew her with exquisite gentleness to him. In spite of the fact that Carpathians could regulate body temperature, she was cold, shivering a little. He enfolded her in his arms, shielding her from the snow with his larger frame and using his own body heat and energy to warm her. He drew her scent into his lungs and smelled blood.
«What happened?» His drew her arm down so he could look at it.
She frowned, her body losing some of its stiffness to sink more fully into his. «Sasha and Forest were lying with me on the bed, sweet as usual, and then Sasha began to get agitated. Within minutes, Forest followed suit. They began pacing back and forth, sending out distress calls. I scanned, but the most I could do was feel a hint of power in the air. Not good or evil, simply power.»
«That does not explain these scratches, Syndil. They are deep.» He bent his head to her bare arm, his lips feathering kisses up and down the lacerations, tongue swirling over the wounds, taking away the pain with his healing saliva. He kissed her arm again and raised his head, one hand cupping her chin so she couldn't look away from the censure in his eyes. «You should have called me immediately. Your well-being comes before all else.»
«There was nothing to tell you. With so many Carpathians gathered in one place, there is bound to be power in the air at all times. I just assumed the leopards were reacting to the different feel. They're used to us, but not to the others. They were fine with me until I tried to leave the room. I'm sorry. It's just that I couldn't think of anything else but taking care of this.» She swept her hand in a graceful arc to take in the blackened land. «I had been hearing the screaming of the earth since I awoke, and I could no longer ignore the call. I knew it would be difficult and draining, but I didn't expect…» She broke off and looked over his shoulder at the huge area destroyed by the battle with the undead. «It's so large, Barack, so much damage.»
There were tears in her voice-in her mind. «You're just tired, sweetheart. You need to feed.» There was both sensual invitation and dominant command in his voice.