«It isn't 'nothing' when you're sweating blood, Skyler. We're friends, aren't we? You can tell me what's wrong.»
Skyler didn't know if she had friends. She trusted her adopted parents and Lucian and Jaxon. Other than that, she never allowed herself to be alone with anyone. Francesca thought time was going to heal her, but Skyler doubted it. In order to preserve her spirit– her sanity, she had retreated from the world as a child, and perhaps she'd stayed away too long. She didn't know how to be a friend-or a partner.
«Yes, of course we're friends,» she said, giving the obligatory answer. Over the years she'd found if she just said what people expected to hear, they went away happy and left her in peace.
Josef relaxed visibly. «Why didn't you come over to Aidan's and play the new video game? It's way cool.»
«I was helping Francesca make the gingerbread houses for tonight.» She wrapped her arms around herself protectively.
«Antonietta's making some cool thing for this dinner tonight. You should come over and help. I'm heading back there now.»
«I've met you a dozen times already and know you from online, but haven't met Antonietta. It's intimidating to think about meeting her. She's so famous.»
«She can play the piano,» Josef conceded, «but she isn't stuck up or anything. She was blind before she was with Byron, but I don't think she sees much better even now.» He grinned, white teeth flashing against the dark outline he used around his lips drawing attention to his tongue-piercing as well as the hoop in his lip.
«I thought when one is converted, all the scars and imperfections disappear.» She touched the crescent-shaped scar on her face. «And how can you be pierced? Doesn't your body heal
itself?»
Josef sighed. «It's a real fight,» he conceded. «I don't wear them most of the time because the holes are always closing up within minutes, but I have to keep up my rep, so I just concentrate on it all the time around everybody and I can keep the piercing with no problem.»
«Is that why the skin's grown over the diamond on your nose?» Skyler asked, rubbing her chin along the top of her drawn-up knees. She stared out into the sparkling white world. It seemed a fairy tale, all crystal and ice. Cold-like she was. She closed her eyes briefly against the sorrow pressing down on her, trying to listen to the wolves, trying to sort out their song. She'd always loved them, always had such an affinity for them, and now the sound called to something lonely and primal in her.
Josef clapped his hand over his nose. «Not again! I hope it wasn't like that when the prince saw me.» He regarded her with a narrowed gaze. «You are coming over, aren't you? Antonietta's really nice. Byron is too, but he doesn't want me to know he is.»
Skyler shook her head. «I can't right now. I'll catch up to you later.» She needed to be alone, to think things through for herself. She liked Josef, but he was a distraction and he didn't have a clue that she was upset. Dimitri would have known. The thought came unbidden and filled her with shame-with regret. With anger.
«Come on, Skyler, don't be a big baby. Just because your parents think you need a babysitter doesn't mean you can't come with me. I'm over twenty-one.»
She glared at him. «Really? I thought you were Joshua's age. You aren't going to goad me into doing something wrong, Josef.» Which made her feel even guiltier. He might not be able to goad her, but she intended to disobey her parents. The terrible weight in her chest pressed harder, the sorrow nearly choking her. She had to make it stop-make Dimitri understand it wasn't about him or her rejection of him. It wasn't personal. She would have rejected anyone. He had to move on.
«You're just angry because I made fun of you having to wait for an adult before you could walk home,» he said. «I was only teasing you. There's no need to be upset.»
«I'm not a baby,» she snapped, pressing both hands into her wildly churning stomach. Maybe if she threw up on him he'd go away. «You didn't have to tease me.»
«Sure I did. That's what friends do.»
That brought her up short. They were friends-of a sort. She liked Josef. She just didn't like being alone with him-with any man. With anyone. She swept one hand through her hair and tried not to cry.
Josef, reading her expression, tried again. «The prince came by while I was at Aidan and Alexandria's and he said he was going to have Gregori play Santa Claus tonight. Man, that's
gonna freak out all the kids. It ought to be fun.»
«Freaking out a bunch of little kids isn't funny, Josef. Especially not when it comes to Santa Claus. You could traumatize them.»
«You're beginning to sound more and more like Francesca.» He didn't make it sound as though he was complimenting her. «I'm not traumatizing them. Gregori is-and I didn't choose him-the prince did.»
«Tonight, make sure you don't help scare the children, especially Tamara.»
They glared at one another for a long moment in silence. When Josef went to turn away with a sullen expression, she cleared her throat. «Can you shapeshift?»
He puffed out his chest. «Of course.»
She glanced toward the house. «Do you think someone who is only part Carpathian can actually shapeshift?» She avoided his gaze by rubbing her chin thoughtfully on her knees as if in deep contemplation. Josef might act like a dork around adults, but he was as sharp as a tack and he might be able to read her expression.
«Well…» He frowned. «That's a good question. Natalya turned into a tiger, which was very cool by the way, but I've never heard any of the adults mention anyone else who could do it.»
«How do you shift?»
He shook his head. «Don't even think about it, Skyler. It isn't that easy. I practice all the time and I still make mistakes.»
«You don't practice all the time. You play video games all the time.» With another surreptitious glance toward the house, she slid off the rail into the snow. Unlike Josef, she couldn't regulate her body temperature and she was stiff from sitting on the railing with the cold wind adding to her chill. At least it had stopped snowing-she glanced up at the ominous sky, laden with heavy clouds-for the moment.
Josef scowled at her. «Hey! I can shift. Watch this.» He backed up a few steps and stood, arms out. Feathers began to sprout over his body, his face reshaping several times until he had facial discs-dusky white with gray-brown mottling bordered by black. His irises turned a bright yellow, and his developing bill was gray-green with tufts of bristly feathers around its base. His body compacted, shifted, slowly shrinking with a few stops and starts until he was sitting in the snow in the perfect form of a very small owl. The body of the owl was gray-brown with an intricate pattern of stripes and bars and even spots in places. It sat very still, the body so small she was really awed that Josef had managed. The large eyes blinked up at her.
Skyler walked around the tiny creature. «Amazing, Josef. How did you get it so tiny?
Can you actually fly? Or should I just have you stuffed for ornamental purposes?»
The owl issued a whiny note and hopped several times, wings extending and flapping until it awkwardly took to the air. Josef flew around her several times, rose higher and darted back, straight at her head.
Skyler threw up her hands and ran out into the snow, scooping snow from the edge of the porch to fling it at the errant bird. «Stop it, that's not funny, Josef.»
The bird rose again and circled her, once again building speed for the attack. Skyler ran back toward the house, close to the structure as the bird rushed her. She ducked and covered her head just as Josef swooped on her. The little screech owl hit the side of the house and fell like a stone onto the ground. The bird lay perfectly still, its little feet pointed straight up, just like a cartoon.