Her muscles clenched, her moist sheath tightening and releasing him until the friction between them was so hot he felt flames dancing over his skin, her skin. He was swelling, growing, thick and hard, and still he wanted to go on.
Julian.
It was the softest of pleas, Desari’s beautiful, haunting voice shimmering for release in his mind. It sent him hurtling over the edge, taking her with him so that they clung together as the earth shook and the skies exploded.
Julian nearly collapsed on top of her, his great strength drained for a moment. His body gleamed in the night air, his golden mane wild around his face. Desari touched his mouth with the tip of her finger in wonder. “How can this be, Julian? How could it be that all these long, lonely centuries, I did not know of this? Why did I not hunger for such a thing?”
His eyes glittered at her, a warning menace, the ice cold of death itself. “You were made for me, Desari, only me. There was no need for you to seek another.”
She refused to feel intimidated. His face was harsh, a hint of cruelty around his mouth. “Not now. But I have lived long. Why did my body not hunger for this? I read books, heard of things while among humans. Syndil and I talked of such longings, but I have never felt such a need. I have gone centuries without ever knowing the beauty of this. What if you had never found me?”
Julian’s hands tangled in her ebony hair. “You are mine,
cara mia,
only mine. There is no other who could make your body feel the things I can. And if you tried to experiment, I would have to kill him. Make no mistake, Desari, knowledge is a good thing to acquire, but there is no need for you to go to any other. If you wish to try something new, I will oblige you, but I will not tolerate another male near you.”
She shoved at the solid wall of his chest with her palms, glaring at him. “Oh, shut up. I was not contemplating running around with every male I saw. I was just wondering why I had to wait so long.”
Julian refused to move an inch, his heavier frame pinning her beneath him, his body still firmly buried in hers.
“You waited for me, as you should have. For us there is only one.”
Her eyebrows arched. “Oh really? Then why did Barack use human women in this way? Have you? Be warned, I will not accept a double standard.”
Julian swept back the fall of hair from her forehead, the gesture tender as he bent to brush a kiss on her eyebrow. “Men feel for two hundred years or so,
piccola.
Some act on their urges, although they are a poor imitation of what we feel for our true mate. True sexual heat comes with the finding of our lifemate. It is more than infatuation or chemistry. It is stronger than love or sex. It is a combination of mind, heart, soul, and body. The emotion is so strong, one must always be in proximity to the other.”
Desari was silent for a moment, suddenly aware of how vulnerable she felt. It wasn’t just her body so open to his, or the depth of her desire, it was the emotions he evoked in her. Her long lashes swept down to conceal her sudden doubt.
At once, Julian’s hands tightened in her hair. “
Cara mia,
do not fear our union so much. I will see to your happiness. I could never hurt you. Do you not understand yet?” He captured her hand, brought it to his mouth, and kept it pressed against his finely chiseled lips. “Even if you chose to be with another male, I would never harm you. It would not be possible for me to do such a thing. But I am being honest with you when I tell you I would kill the man. I am a predator. Nothing, not even your light, can change completely what I am. I will allow no one to take you from my side.”
“Does it not scare you, Julian, the intensity of our feelings?” she whispered, her dark eyes clouded. “It frightens me more than anything I have ever encountered. I could not bear to be the cause of another’s death.
I see you struggling with your emotions, those that I have brought to you. It is a battle within you that you cannot hide from me. And there is something else, something you struggle to hide even from yourself.”
His teeth scraped the knuckles of her hand lovingly. “Yes, the emotions are new and strange, unknown to me these many centuries. And yes, they are difficult to learn to deal with, as they are intense and violent.” The “something else” he could not yet share with her, could not yet face. “But we have centuries for the learning,” he concluded. Reluctantly he eased his body from hers. “I feel your discomfort,
piccola.
Come here to me.” He was already drawing her up so that he could examine her body for marks.
“I am perfectly fine, Julian.” For some reason it embarrassed her that he was searching her fair skin for telltale bruises his passion might have left on her. “Explain to me why Syndil has experienced sexual feelings while I did not before you. Am I so different? Not feminine?”
Julian’s head came up, his amber eyes heating. “How can you not know how desirable you are, Desari? Surely you see the effect you have on males, mortal and immortal alike.”
Her fingers clung to his. “You are the first immortal I have ever encountered outside of my family. And just because human males find me desirable does not mean I am. Our race often has that effect on mortals. It is not me. Besides, I felt nothing in return.”
“For which I am eternally grateful. Why Syndil has felt these urges, I do not know. Perhaps she has sensed her lifemate near but without recognition of him.” There was a faint frown on Julian’s granite features. “It is possible some women are able to have sexual affairs with men other than their true lifemate prior to their claiming. But I cannot see how, given how closely our women are guarded. I cannot see Darius allowing males near you or Syndil, even though he was not raised in the traditions of our people.”
“That is true. Darius would never have allowed either of us to carry on with a male. Neither would Dayan or Barack. They watch us all the time. Since Savon’s treacherous behavior, they watch one another just as closely,” she added sadly.
“It is only Darius who fights the darkness so desperately,” Julian answered grimly. “He has been drawn deep within the shadows because he has had to kill to protect you all. The others can hang on longer if they wish it. Darius’s battle is a difficult one.”
Tears swam in Desari’s dark eyes. “I cannot leave him, Julian. He cannot think we can do without his protection. I have seen the same thing in him, and I fear for him constantly. More and more he keeps to himself. He rarely shares his thoughts with me. He is a great man, and I do not want to lose him.”
Julian bent his head to brush each of her eyelids with the soothing touch of his mouth. “Then we can do other than see to it he remains with us.”
Desari lifted her face to his, smiling up at him as if he had given her the moon. “Thank you, Julian, for understanding. If you only knew Darius, you would see how important it is.”
“I have been in your mind many times,
cara.
I can see him as you do. I have also seen the iron will in him that allowed all of you to survive impossible odds. He is one truly worth saving.” Then his golden gaze was sweeping the length of her body, and once again there was a hungry gleam in the depths of his eyes.
Chapter Nine
At once Desari was gone, leaping away from him like a gazelle, her taunting laughter floating on the wind as she alighted on the huge fallen tree trunk. She took his breath away, standing there naked in the moonlight, branches swaying all around her. The wind tugged at the waves of hair cascading around her body like a cape. A sound escaped his throat, something between a growl and a groan.
Julian was a hard man honed by centuries of a harsh existence. If he had ever had a sharing of laughter with others, it was but a vague memory of his youth. He had been damned to a life of solitude, yet now he wanted nothing more than to be with this one woman, to share his life with her, the mountains, the cities, the world. He didn’t know how to play, didn’t think of having a sense of humor other than an occasional strange amusement at the actions of another. But something new was rising in him. The sound of Desari’s laughter was finding an answering playful note somewhere deep within him.