In truth he was beginning to like the feeling of belonging to a family, of belonging to Desari.
Baby.
She whispered it in his mind like the stroke of her fingers along his skin. Teasing. Loving. Their own private world.
Julian swallowed hard. His face was a mask of indifference, aloof, his hard, watchful eyes surveying the crowd mercilessly, yet inside he was melting with the warmth only she could produce in him.
Chapter Fourteen
Julian took Desari’s hand and walked her out into the forest. The concert had seemed endless, and there had been so many people to talk with after the performance. Well-wishers, reporters, fans—far too many people for Julian’s liking. It went on for most of the night. Now he allowed the peace of the mountains and the night breeze to push away the sounds of the crowd and the crush of so many humans pushing close to his lifemate. He was not altogether certain he would survive this life she insisted on. It was so foreign to the nature of a Carpathian male to allow so many near her, yet Desari took it for granted that he would just accept it.
“I do not, you know. I have never taken anything for granted,” she protested, sharing his thoughts. “I know how difficult this is for you, and I appreciate the way you support me in my choice.”
His dark eyes swept over her sincere expression, his eyebrows raised slightly. “You do, do you? Appreciate the way I support your choice?” He said the words softly, a hint of laughter in their depths. “And you look so perfectly honest and genuinely earnest with your far too beautiful eyes.”
She tightened her hand around his. “I am completely sincere, Julian. I know this is hard on you, but it truly is my way of life.”
“This century,
cara.
For only this century will I allow it.” She laughed softly. “You think.”
“I know. My heart cannot take the constant strain of worry. So many males hanging around you with not-so-pure thoughts. It sets my teeth on edge. And we are not even counting the vampires who appear to be stalking you and the other female at every turn.”
“Syndil,” Desari corrected softly. “Her name is Syndil.”
Julian heard the reproof in her voice, felt the tears in her mind. She loved Syndil as a sister, loved her and missed their close camaraderie. Even Julian filling her life could not take away the sorrow of what had happened. She wanted Syndil back again, whole and healed. Even her voice could not undo the brutality of what Savon had wrought. Syndil wouldn’t accept her aid. Desari felt helpless and could only watch as Syndil seemed to withdraw more and more into herself.
He caught glimpses of Desari’s memories. Syndil laughing, her eyes alight with the sheer joy of living. Syndil hugging her close, whispering womanly nonsense after they had teased Darius to distraction. The plots they hatched to attain a few hours of freedom. Secretly laughing at Barack’s anger with Syndil and Darius’s lectures when they were caught. They had had centuries together, so close, the only two females, with no other friends or confidantes sharing their innermost thoughts, fears, and joys.
Julian bent his head and rubbed his chin in the silk of Desari’s hair. He loved her.
Love.
It was so small a word, and people seemed to use it for everything. To him it was sacred. Desari was joy and light. Truth and beauty. She was love itself. She was the world and what it should be. He felt complete and at peace with her, even when she was driving him crazy. It amazed him, her cool confidence and tremendous gifts. Of course their women would have extraordinary gifts. Why hadn’t any of them realized? They had been so arrogant in their beliefs that the men had the powers, yet in truth, the males held only dark powers. How could that possibly compare to the gifts women brought to their world? Aside from the creation of life, obviously they had other things to offer, blessings of nature and peace, healing gifts far beyond the scope of the males.
Julian let his breath out slowly. “Syndil will be whole again,
piccola,
whole and happy once more. Time can heal where other things cannot. I feel it. I know it will happen. Do not continue to know such sorrow. She will return to you in a way totally unexpected. I do not know how I know this, but I do.”
Her large eyes searched his face before her long lashes veiled her expression. “You are not just saying this to ease my mind?”
“I do not say things to ease anyone’s mind. You should know that about me by now. Lifemates cannot tell an untruth to one another. Seek the information in my mind, Desari, and you will know I believe in what I say to you. And I will call her Syndil as you wish me to. If it is your desire that she be a sister to me, then it will be so.”
“Why do you never speak her name?”
He shrugged with his easy, casual grace, the ripple of power he took for granted, the enormous strength she was coming to know. “Habit. We do not often socialize with unclaimed females of our race, and we do not personalize them. It is a protection for both parties. As males grow close to the end, we would not want any of them fixating on one of our eligible females and perhaps...” He trailed off, suddenly not wanting to articulate it.
Desari swept a hand through her hair. “Attacking her,” she finished for him. “Syndil did not do anything to provoke Savon or lead him on. I know she did not.”
“It never occurred to me for one moment that she did such a thing. A female does not have to do anything to entice a vampire. The undead are perverted, grotesque, wholly evil. In their warped imaginations, they think that if they find an unclaimed female, or perhaps make a widow of one with a mate, they will find their lost souls. It can never be. Once they have chosen such a path, it is for all eternity, until one of our hunters is able to properly destroy them. Most try at some time to find a mate. They use mortal women and sometimes are even able to turn them without killing them. But the woman becomes deranged and feeds on the blood of children. It is a terrible burden to be forced to destroy such a victimized creature. That is the worst of all our jobs.” He stated it matter-of-factly, without looking for sympathy.
Her head brushed his shoulder, their bodies close as they walked together through the forest, winding their way aimlessly through the trees and brush. It was a small gesture, but the touch sent little shock waves through his body. She took away his distress. She gave him so much pleasure. Just being near her gave him pleasure. Breathing in her scent gave him pleasure.
“Julian, you give me the same feeling,” she assured him, pleased she was able to lift his spirits.
“You are a miracle to me,” he said. “You have no idea what you mean to me, what you are to me, and I can never find the words to tell you.”
But she was in his mind. She could feel his emotions, and they were overwhelming to her. To be thought of as he thought of her! It was a powerful weapon the men of their race wielded. How could a lifemate possibly refuse to comfort and love such a man? She wanted this for Darius. She wanted a woman to love him the way she loved Julian. She wanted someone for Syndil and Barack and Dayan, as well.
Julian laughed and curved his arm around her, sweeping her beneath the protection of his shoulder. Of course Desari would think of all the others, wanting to share her joy. It only made him love her more. “Look at the stars tonight, Desari. Tomorrow night there will be a storm. I feel it closing in around us. But tonight we walk together in the open and have time to enjoy ourselves.”
“It is nearly dawn,” she reminded him, a little smile creeping into her voice.
“It is a few hours until dawn,” Julian replied. “More than enough time to accomplish my task.”
“You have a task?” she asked, her dark eyes dancing at him.
“Absolutely. I have to convince you completely that I am the only man you will ever want or need in your lifetime.”