“I think my nose is too big.”
“Is not. You’re pretty.”
“Then how come you never kiss me?”
“I-I didn’t know if-if I-”
“It’s okay.”
If she said it was okay, then so it must be. He pressed his lips against hers, hard, like he’d seen his father do it to that woman in the drugstore. It didn’t feel very warm, but it made him go all tingly and stiff just the same.
“That wasn’t very good, was it?”
“Don’t worry,” she said, laughing. She pushed him away and ran free. “You’ll get better.”
And she was right. They came out to the beach every night that week, running and playing, hugging and kissing, happier than they had ever been before, in their kingdom by the sea.
They were always quiet when they left, always careful to brush the sand off themselves before they returned home. They gave their grandmother no cause for suspicion or alarm. Ernie was deliriously happy, and each night seemed more intense, more momentous than the one before. But he could never entirely shake his sense of foreboding. He knew that what they were doing was wrong, or at least that their grandmother would think so. Didn’t that mean they would be punished? Would she return to her sewing basket? Would she hurt him again?
What he did not realize was that his punishment, when it came, would be ever so much worse.
“Ginny, look out! It’s a big one!”
The wave crashed down on them, huge and impenetrable as a wall, knocking Ernie off his feet. “Ginny!”
He scrambled up, fighting the pounding of the water, but his feet sank into the sand. “Ginny!”
She had been digging a tunnel when last he’d seen her, burrowing through the sand, connecting his castle to hers. He called and called for her, but she did not answer him.
“Ginny!” Another wave crashed down on him. Ernie choked on the stale salt water, coughing and spewing up something gray and bitter. He had been daydreaming, not paying attention, still tasting his sister’s salty kisses on his lips. Now he was soaked, mired down in the sand. And she wasn’t answering.
“Ginny!”
He struggled to make his way to the two castles and found a half-dug tunnel between them. Ginny’s feet were sticking out of the sand. Her head was buried somewhere beneath.
The tide had come in while she was burrowing. The tunnel had collapsed and she’d been buried, unable to escape.
He began digging as fast as he could, pulling out great clumps of wet sand, trying to find her head, but it was slow work for little hands. He knew every second counted. He called out her name again and again, crying into the night wind, but there was never any response.
He didn’t know how long it took, a minute, twenty, he couldn’t tell. He excavated her head and finally managed to roll her out of the muck. He brushed sand from her mouth, her nose, her eyes, all the while screaming out her name.
Her eyes remained closed.
He opened her mouth and blew air into it like he’d seen people do on television, but she did not respond. He was scared and alone and he didn’t know what to do. He raced back and forth on the beach, the death clock ticking away in his brain.
He had to get help. Grown-up help. He started running toward the house, racing recklessly through the forest. His legs and feet were cut in a dozen places but he never stopped, never for a second. What would he do when he got there? If he told Nana what he had done, what they had been doing-he knew what would happen. But Ginny wasn’t moving. He had to do something. He had to do something.
As soon as he arrived at the house, he called the police. They were the ones best able to help Ginny-and perhaps to protect him. Nana heard him talking and came downstairs, but the police arrived before she could do anything to him.
Ernie found it difficult to function, to perform even the simplest tasks. He was weary and heartsore and scared and confused. He answered the policemen’s questions as best he could and took them out to the beach.
“Dear God,” the cop said when they finally arrived. “Why didn’t you call us sooner, son? We might’ve saved her.”
The rest of the night was a hideous blur. There were questions and questions and questions. He was still wet and cold and miserable. And all the while, his grandmother stared at him, her eyes dark as coals and cold as night. He knew what she was thinking.
Around three A.M., they took Ginny’s body away. They would not let him kiss her goodbye. He would never see her again.
Ernie didn’t know who all these people were. He’d never known Nana had any friends; only her nighttime lady friends came to the house. But at the reception after the funeral, the place was packed with strangers.
No one would talk to him, not at the funeral and not now. He knew why. Some of them thought maybe he’d done it on purpose. They thought he was a bad seed, a chip off his father’s block. They blamed him not only for Ginny’s death but for his grandmother’s sudden decline. Everything.
Someone had brought food, a couple of casseroles and some bean salad, but he didn’t eat much, even though he’d taken nothing all day. The first bite died in his throat; it seemed tasteless.
The minister was the only person there who didn’t have wrinkles. He was new, maybe thirty. Ernie knew his grandmother didn’t like him. Ernie didn’t like him much, either. But he was the only one in the house who would talk to him.
“You mustn’t blame yourself,” Reverend Barton said. “God called her home, that’s all. She’s in heaven now, with the angels. We should be so fortunate.”
“It doesn’t seem right,” Ernie mumbled.
“It never does. We think, why did it have to be her? But remember-she went to be with Jesus. That’s a good thing, not bad. The Lord God moves in strange and mysterious ways. There is a plan, even if we have not yet discovered it. Evidently, God needed her more than we did.”
Ernie looked up at the minister, his eyes pleading. “What I don’t understand is, why didn’t God take me, too? We belong together.”
“You will be together again one day, God willing.”
“But why not now? I feel so-awful. I never should’ve gone out there with her.”
Reverend Barton knelt down and took the boy by the shoulders. “It’s not your fault, son. You were God’s instrument. You helped Him fulfill His plan.”
That night, she came for him.
“Ernie,” she said, standing in the dark at his bedroom door. The cat was curled between her ankles. “Wake up.”
“Can’t…,” he moaned, pretending he had been asleep.