“You are under the protection of the family,” Barack said softly, “and Darius wants you to know you always will be. But we cannot undo what has been done. There are decisions to be made. We made the choice to save your life, and the blood was freely given because of your place within our family, but only you can make the rest of the choices for yourself. We will respect whatever you decide.”
Cullen nodded, understanding more than Barack knew. When his memories of them were clear, he remembered every detail and he had learned a great deal about their species. They were offering him a choice, and he was grateful that he was even being consulted.
“It is not a decision to be made lightly, Cullen,” Barack counseled. “You must know I will always be able to read your mind, whether you choose full knowledge or to have your memories removed. I would know if you betrayed us to anyone, including your future wife. I see clearly into your mind. You want Lisa to be your partner, but she will never be able to accept our species as we are. She must always see us as human. She could not accept Corinne’s differences, and she would be unable to live with the knowledge. If you choose us as your family, you can never reveal what we are to her. You are someone who values honor and integrity. You want a full partnership with your wife. She will always be in our lives, because she loves Corinne and Corinne loves her. To Corinne, Lisa is family, as you are to us. But you will have to keep this knowledge from Lisa for all time. We have lifemates. We understand the bond between male and female. If you choose to remove the memory of us, we will understand. Remember we will still have the same feelings for you, and you will remain under our protection. It is up to you.” Cullen smiled, his teeth very white. “You are my family.”
“As Lisa will be.”
“Exactly. As Corinne will be. Lisa loves her as a sister. My wife will be connected to you for the rest of her life. If I choose to forget, then I can’t give her my protection and help to shield her from the things she can’t accept. I know what Lisa is like. She needs a protected environment, someone willing to shield her from the things she can’t accept. I want to be that person. Not you or Darius. Me. I never thought I could feel alive again. You know strength, Barack, but you don’t know what it’s like for someone to struggle like she has to do to live in a world with people capable of doing monstrous things she can’t understand. You have it in you to kill if need be. She is incapable of shouting at anyone. It hurts her when people raise their voices at one another. You think of that as a weakness. I look at her and see someone too good to live in a world like this one. I want to shield her. I want the chance to have her love me.”
“We will love and accept the one you choose to share your life with. Forgive me, Cullen — I will work on my failings. Syndil has pointed out this same flaw, and I do not intend to continue with this behavior if I can help it. I will get to know Lisa and I will always protect her. You can count on that.”
“Thank you,” Cullen said quietly. “I’ll retain my memories and work to guard our family, as you, Dayan, Julian and Darius always do. I don’t want to forget any of it. Neither the good nor the bad. You are all I have.”
“Then so be it.” Barack gripped Cullen’s hand hard for a moment, then backed off. “I have sent your answer to Darius and the others. If you have need, you have only to follow the path in your mind and you can speak with me.” He grinned. “Of course, you can do the same with Darius.”
Cullen stared up at him for a moment, thinking that over. He should have known that Darius had taken his blood to open a channel to his mind. Darius
always
protected his family. It was his nature. “Go away. I like looking at Lisa better. But tell Dayan we are praying for Corinne and baby.”
Corinne slept fitfully, with strange images flitting in and out of her dreams. When she woke, sometimes the healers were in the room with her, but most of the time there was only Dayan. There were times he lay beside her. Often he sat quietly holding her hand and staring lovingly down at her face. Other times she woke to the sound of his music, a soothing harmony of voice and guitar. She tried a few times to overcome the terrible lethargy that seemed to have invaded her body, but it was too much trouble and she closed her eyes time and time again with the image of Dayan filling her mind and heart. Strangely, she wasn’t afraid anymore, not for herself and not for her baby.
She had no idea how much time had passed before she managed to really wake up. She lay quietly taking inventory of her body. Corinne could hear her heart beating, as well as that of her child. She moved her hands protectively over the baby and murmured softly to the child, wondering if she could hear her. As she talked to her daughter, she looked around the beautiful room. It was full of treasures, from the artwork to the carvings on the high ceilings. The room was very large, the colors muted and elegant. The carvings looked like strange, beautiful hieroglyphics. Some of the symbols were soothing to her, while others made her heart pound if she stared at them too long.
Her hand moved over the thick quilt covering her. It was art too, a beautiful blend of colors with similar symbols woven into it. Each character was wide and clear, the surface smooth to the touch. She found her fingers continually seeking out the different symbols and tracing them carefully over and over.
She felt Dayan beside her, just lying quietly, his body wrapped protectively around hers. Corinne turned her head to find him watching her, his black gaze loving. There was so much tenderness there, so much emotion, he robbed her of breath. She smiled, her soft mouth curving as she lifted a hand to touch his face with gentle fingertips. “Hello,” she said softly. “Have you been waiting there long?”
“Several risings,” he answered honestly, shifting so that he could prop himself up on his elbow to better study her face.
“What are you doing?” she asked, slightly embarrassed by his close scrutiny. He was watching her with unblinking eyes.
“Memorizing your face,” he answered truthfully, his gaze drifting over every inch of her classic features. “I want to close my eyes and still be able to see you. I used to welcome daylight as a relief from the ever present whisperings of darkness, yet now I resent those hours because I cannot be with you. I want to talk to you, just be silent beside you, look at you, reach out and touch you, know you are real and not some figment of my imagination.” He traced her mouth, her eyebrows, his thumb lingering on the corner of her lips. “I do not want to sleep anymore because I cannot take you with me.”
“Do you have to sleep away from me?” she asked, running her hand up and down his arm, needing to touch him almost as much as he needed to touch her.
He bent to brush a gentle kiss across the temptation of her mouth. “When I sleep, it is as if I am dead. I shut down my heart and lungs and do not breathe air. Our species does not have to seek the earth to sleep, and many of our people do not, but they sleep in chambers below ground where they are relatively safe from human hunters and accidents. Most of us do seek the rejuvenating sleep of the earth because it is safer and more natural to us. I would prefer to be beside you always, but it would be unsettling to you to wake and find me as if dead.”
“Not if I was expecting such a thing. Why are you so distressed, Dayan?” She pushed her fingers through his hair. “I’m beginning to be able to read you, and you are having a difficult time. If something is wrong, just tell me.”