«Tell me about your childhood,» Manolito said, his dark gaze holding hers, his voice gentle.
She looked uncomfortable, shifting slightly away from him. «I had a normal childhood. You'd think it was boring, but I enjoyed it. My parents are great. Mom's a doctor, and Dad owns a little bakery shop. I grew up working there and earned most of my money for college. No brothers or sisters, so it was a little lonely, but I had a lot of friends in school.»
His gaze drifted over her face, noting her eyes, the pulse beating so frantically in her throat. «There were things that happened. Unexplained things. Tell me about those.»
Her heart began to thunder in her ears. She felt her breath catch in her lungs. She didn't want to think of those moments, and yes, there had been plenty, incidents there was no explanation for. MaryAnn pulled away so her body didn't touch his, just in case he could read her. She felt a shift inside of her, something moving and nudging at her almost in inquiry. Do you need me? What is it?
She gasped, bit down hard on her lip and tried to thrust the truth back into that deep abyss where she never had to face it. Out here in the rain forest, where everything was wild and it was kill or be killed and she faced enemies unknown in her safe world, she could no longer contain that other being unfolding inside of her.
Manolito remained still, not moving a muscle, sensing her sudden withdrawal, not only from him, but from something that had been close enough for her to see. She had slammed that impenetrable barrier between them again to keep him from seeing it. The moment she withdrew her mind from his, he was aware of that other world he still dwelled in.
The colors around him dimmed significantly and the noise of the rain forest disappeared until silence surrounded him. Strangely, his sense of smell was even more acute, as was his hearing. He not only could detect the position of animals and birds around them, but he also knew exact locations. He didn't need to reach with his mind to find those surrounding him; his nose and ears gave him the information. The longer he dwelled in the shadow land, the more heightened all His senses became-well, almost all of them. His vision seemed different, familiar in the way of when he shifted to animal form, but still, he caught movement instantly. He just didn't like the graying in the color, as it reminded him too much of the centuries of darkness.
He curled his fingers around hers and held tight. He had been vaguely aware of the land of mists creeping into his mind and vision since he had sent Luiz to ground, but it had been distant, as if he had made his way closer to the world where MaryAnn lived. Now, without her mind merging with his, everywhere he looked the gray was consuming color.
Manolito squeezed her hand in reassurance, although he wasn't altogether certain who was reassuring who. «You are safe here with me. Whatever it is you fear, share it with me. Burdens are much less when shared.»
He was aware of every detail about her in that moment, and she was very much afraid. He heard her heart,
saw the frantic beat of her pulse. She had insisted on standing by him, refusing to leave him alone in the meadow of mists, even when she was unsure of him. He wanted her to know he would do no less.
She shook her head even as she began to speak, obviously not wanting to remember the incident, or speak of it aloud, yet almost compelled to share, needing at least someone to know she wasn't crazy. «There was one time when I was in high school that I went out for track. My parents really wanted me to play sports, but I had no interest. I'm a girlie girl, always have been, but my dad thought if I got involved in sports I'd be less inclined to follow the latest fashion trends.»
He stayed silent, watching the shadows chase across her face, waiting for her to make up her mind to tell him the entire story, not the watered-down version.
«I showed up for practice and took off running. At first all I could think about was how I was going to fall on my face, or trip and humiliate myself. But then I forgot myself and how uncomfortable it was running and I felt… free.» She let her breath out, obviously remembering the feeling. «I wasn't aware of what I was doing at all, but I outdistanced everyone and ran without thought. I didn't feel pain at all, only a type of euphoria.»
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingertips. «Don't stop, sivamet. What else did you feel? Obviously this made an impression on you.»
«At first it was wonderful, but then I began to notice things.» She pulled her hand away, as if she couldn't bare her soul while touching him. «My bones began to hurt, my joints cracked and popped. Even my knuckles ached.» She rubbed them, clearly remembering the feeling. «My jaw throbbed, and I had the sensation of stretching thinner and thinner. I could hear tendons and ligaments snapping. I ran so fast, everything around me was a blur. My vision changed, my hearing and sense of smell were so acute, I could tell where every single runner was behind me. Exactly where they were, without looking. I could hear their breathing, the air rushing in and out of their lungs. I could smell their sweat, and hear their hearts beating.»
How could she explain to him what had happened that day? How she felt something changing and growing and reaching to get out of her, to be acknowledged and recognized. It wanted out. She moistened her lips and clung tighter to his hand.
«I was different in that moment, completely different, yet the same. I could leap over obstacles without even slowing down. Every sense was alive in me. My body was-singing, as if it had come alive for the first time. I can't even explain how it felt, every sense so open and gathering information. And then things began to pour into my mind, visions I couldn't stop or make sense of.»
He brought her hand to his chest in an effort to comfort her. She didn't seem to realize she was becoming agitated and that her state of mind was affecting the monkeys in the surrounding trees. Wings displaced air overhead as birds stood on branches and beat them, squawking and chirping anxiously. He slid the pad of his thumb over the back of her hand and felt hard knots under her skin as her tension mounted. «What did you see?» Whatever it was had terrified her.
«A man calling to a woman, telling her to take the baby and run. The baby was-me. I was lying in a crib, and she wrapped me in a blanket, kissed the man and clung to him. I could hear voices and saw dancing lights outside the windows. The man kissed me, too, and then her one last time and jerked open a trapdoor in the floor. I felt dread and fear. I didn't want to leave him and neither did she. I think we all knew it was the last time we'd see each other.»
She licked her dry lips. «The infant was surrounded by forest while I was running the track, hearing my heart, my footfalls, smelling the others, and I remember stars bursting around me. But they weren't really around me at the school; the lights were flashing around the woman and me, the infant in the forest. I could hear something whistle as it went past us, and then the woman flinched, stumbling. The next thing, I was running
on the track, yet at the same time the woman was running through the trees with me-the baby.»
«Was the woman your mother?»
«No!» MaryAnn nearly shouted more denial, but caught herself, breathing hard, trying to push down the shock of what that would imply. «No, I don't know who she was, but she wasn't my mother.»
He reached out and tugged until she lay against him, her head pillowed on his shoulder. «Do not be upset, sivamet.» His voice was soft, that mesmerizing sweep of velvet whispering over her skin. «Be calm, It is a beautiful night and we are simply talking, getting to know one another. I am very interested in this dual run you had. Do you think it really happened? How old do you think you were when this flight through the forest took place? And where were you? The United States'? Europe? What language was spoken?»