Mikhail carried her to his sleeping chamber. He crushed sweet, healing herbs around the bed, covered her small, still form. He placed her in a deep sleep. In an hour he would make her drink again. He stood for a moment staring down at her, feeling the need to cry. She looked so beautiful, a rare, precious treasure he had treated cruelly, when he should have guarded her against the beast in him. Carpathians were not human. Their lovemaking was intensely wild. Raven was young, inexperienced, a human. He had not been able to keep his newly acquired emotions under control in the heat of passion.
With trembling fingers he touched her face, a light caress, then bent to kiss her soft mouth. With an oath, he spun around and left the room. The safeguards were the strongest he knew, locking her in, everyone and everything out.
The storm raged outside, as furious and turbulent as his soul. He took three running steps and launched himself into the sky, hurtling toward the village. The winds whirled and screamed around him. The house he sought was no more than a small shack. He stood at the door, his face a mask of torment.
Edgar Hummer opened the door silently, stood aside to allow him entrance. “Mikhail.” The voice was gentle. Edgar Hummer was eighty-three years old. Most of his years had been spent in the service of the Lord. He considered himself deeply privileged to be counted among Mikhail Dubrinsky’s few real friends.
Mikhail filled the small room with his presence, his power. He was agitated, deeply disturbed. He paced restlessly, the storm outside increasing in fury, in strength.
Edgar settled himself in his chair, lit his pipe, and waited. He had never seen Mikhail anything but completely calm, without emotion. This was a dangerous man, a man Edgar had never even glimpsed.
Mikhail slammed a fist against the rock fireplace, creating a fine network of lines across the stones. “I nearly killed a woman tonight.” He confessed it harshly, his dark eyes wounded. “You told me God made us for a purpose, that we were created by him. I am more beast than man, Edgar, and I cannot continue to delude myself. I would seek eternal rest, but even that is denied to me. Assassins stalk my people. I have no right to leave them until I know they are protected. Now my woman is in danger, not only from me but from my enemies.”
Edgar puffed at his pipe calmly. “You said ‘my woman.’ You love this woman?”
Mikhail waved a dismissing hand. “She is mine.” It was a statement, a decree. How could he say love? It was an insipid word for what he felt. She was purity. Goodness. Compassion. Everything that he was not.
Edgar nodded. “You’re in love with her.”
Mikhail scowled darkly. “I need. I hunger. I want. That is my life.” He said it in torment, as if he could make it true.
“Then why do you feel such pain, Mikhail? You wanted her; maybe you needed her. I presume you took her. You hungered; I presume you fed. Why should you feel pain?”
“You know it is wrong to take the blood of women for whom we feel other appetites.”
“You have said you have not felt sexual need in centuries. That you cannot feel at all,” Edgar reminded him softly.
“I feel for her,” Mikhail confessed, his dark eyes alive with pain. “I want her every moment of the day. I need her. God, I have to have her. Not only her body, but also her blood. I am addicted to the taste. I crave her, all of her, yet it is forbidden.”
“But you did it anyway?”
“I almost killed her.”
“But you didn’t. She still lives. She cannot be the first time you fed too deeply. Did the others cause you pain?”
Mikhail turned away. “You do not understand. It was the way it happened, what I did afterward. I feared it from the moment I first heard her voice.”
“If it never happened before, why did you fear it?”
Mikhail hung his head, his fingers curling into fists. “Because I wanted her, I could not bear to give her up. I wanted her to know me, know the worst. See all of me. I wanted to bind her to me so she could never leave my side.”
“She is human.”
“Yes. She has abilities, a mental link to me. Compassion. She walks in beauty. I told myself I would not do this thing, that it was wrong, but I knew I would.”
“And knowing you would do something you believe is wrong, you still did it. You must have had a good reason.”
“Selfishness. Did you not hear me? I, I, I. Everything for myself. I found a reason to continue my existence and I took what did not belong to me and still, even now, talking to you, I know I will not give her up.”
“Accept your nature, Mikhail. Accept yourself as you are.”
Mikhail’s laughter was bitter. “Everything is so clear to you. You say I am one of God’s children. I have purpose; I should accept my nature. My nature is to take what I believe is mine, hold it, protect it. Chain it to my side if necessary. I cannot let her go. I cannot. She is like the wind, open and free. If I caged the wind, would it die?”
“Then don’t cage it, Mikhail. Trust it to stay beside you.”
“How can I protect the wind, Edgar?”
“You said cannot,Mikhail. You cannot let her go. Not would not, will not. You said cannot; there is a difference.”
“For me. What of her? What choice am I giving her?”
“I have always believed in you, in your goodness and your strength. It is very possible that the young lady needs you as well. You have heard the legends and lies associated with your kind for so long, you are beginning to believe the nonsense. To a true vegetarian, a meat-eater can be repulsive. The tiger needs deer to survive. A plant needs water. We all need something. You take only what you need. Kneel, receive God’s blessing, and go back to your woman. You will find a way to protect your wind.”
Mikhail knelt obediently, his head bent, allowing the peace of the old man and his words to comfort him. Outside, the fury of the storm abated abruptly, as if it had spent its anger and now could rest in the aftermath.
“Thank you, Father,” Mikhail whispered.
“Do what you must to protect your race, Mikhail. In the eyes of God, they are His children.”
Chapter Four
Mikhail wrapped his arms around Raven’s slender form, pulled her tight against his hard frame. His body curved protectively around hers. She was heavily asleep, her body light, her face pale. There were deep shadows beneath her eyes. He whispered to her softly. “I am sorry for this, little one, sorry I have placed you in this position. Beast that I am, I know I would do it again. You will not die; I cannot allow it.”
He traced a line over the vein in his wrist, filled the glass beside his bed with the dark red liquid. Hear me, Raven. You need this drink. Obey me at once.He pressed the glass to her pale lips, tilted some of the contents down her throat. His blood was very healing, would ensure her life.
Raven choked, gagged, tried to turn her head away as she had before. Obeyme at once. You will drink all of it.His command was stronger this time. She detested the contents, her body striving to reject it, but the force of his will won, as it always did.
Mikhail!He heard the forlorn cry in his head.
You must drink, Raven. Continue your trust in me.
She relaxed and sank back into the layers of sleep, obeying him reluctantly.
Mikhail had caught a brief glimpse of her confused thoughts, the swirl of alarmed emotions. She believed she was fighting a nightmare. Her color was better. Satisfied, he lay down beside her. She would remember the blood exchange as only a part of her nightmare. He propped himself up on one elbow, taking the time to study her face, her long thick lashes, her flawless skin and high cheekbones. It wasn’t just her beauty, he knew that; it was what was inside her, the compassion and light that allowed her to accept his wild, untamed nature.