Yet she had glimpsed a surprising depth and strength in Bradford today. He had shown her a side to his character she had never seen before.
And had not wanted to see.
The realization came with a sudden impact too strong to be denied. Bradford was right: she had used his inebriation as a reason to distance herself. From the first moment of their meeting she had known there was strength and intelligence beneath that careless manner. It had angered her, and then it had made her-
Cautious. She substituted that word for the one that came immediately to mind. Only cautious.
And she would remain cautious. She had told Cassie they must return to the real world, and she must not be distracted from her purpose.
She had an uneasy premonition that this Bradford she had just become aware of might be a force with which to be reckoned.
Where the devil was she?
Jared shifted restlessly before swinging his legs to the floor and standing up. Cassie would come soon. It meant nothing that she was late, he told himself.
But she had never been late before.
He moved toward the window and looked out at the sea. Smooth and serene tonight. No reason for her to be with Kapu.
Perhaps she was ill.
He felt a leap of alarm. Had she appeared unwell at the supper table tonight? No, just quiet and remote as she usually was when they encountered each other outside his cabin. When she walked through that door, there was nothing remote about her. She was all fire and beauty. God, she came alive.
He felt a heavy aching in his loins. How had he come to this? It had never been like this with other women. She was like a sickness, a fever in his blood.
Why was he just standing there, waiting? He should throw on some clothes and go to her cabin as he had threatened. He half turned and then stopped.
Shame. She had averted her eyes when she had asked him if he would insist on coming to her. She had been too proud to plead with him, but he had known she had desperately wished not to be shown vulnerable to Lani. She had been like an uncertain little girl, and he had softened.
As he was softening toward her now, he realized in exasperation. No matter how angry and frustrated he was with her, he could not bring her shame.
But, dammit, where was she? He needed her.
He was striding toward her down the deck.
Cassie didn't turn away from the sunlit sea but watched Jared approach from the corner of her eye, bracing herself. He looked completely His Grace, the Duke of Morland, today, his expression impassive, his manner imperturbable. Perhaps it would not be as bad as she had feared.
"Good morning." His tone was silky. "I trust you slept well?"
"Well enough."
"You lie." She suddenly became aware of the controlled ferocity beneath the smooth facade. "You're pale and pinched, and I'd wager you didn't sleep a wink all night. I can't tell you how much that pleases me.
"How very inconsiderate."
"I don't feel considerate. I'm angry and impatient, and I'd like nothing better than to throw you to a passing shark. Look at me."
She kept her gaze on the sea.
"Look at me!"
She reluctantly obeyed. Faint dark circles were smudged beneath his ice-blue eyes, and the skin was stretched taut over his cheekbones. Sleeplessness may have diminished her, but it had sharpened him. He seemed to glitter like a drawn sword in the sunlight. Impossible, she thought wearily. The restless night she'd spent dreading this encounter was making her imagine things.
"Were you ill?"
"No."
"I didn't think so." He drew a deep breath and his hand reached out to grasp the rail. "Then why didn't you come to me?"
"It was time for it to end." She looked away from him. "We'll soon be in England."
"Very soon. Tomorrow."
"Really? I thought it would be a few-" She broke off as he grasped her shoulders and jerked her around to face him. "Let me go!"
"End?" he said through his teeth. "You had no plans for it to end with the voyage. Should I remind you? You were going to stay close and use me for your own purpose."
"The situation has changed. I've decided it's best I no longer couple with you."
"Best for whom? Not for me and, by God, not for you, either. You want what we have as much as I do."
"It's true that I find coupling with you enjoyable," she said haltingly. Then she met his gaze directly and deliberately used his own words. "But I can't let it matter to me."
His grasp tightened on her shoulders. "You find it more than enjoyable, dammit."
"As Lihua said, you're very good at pleasure making. I've had no experience with other men, but I believe she's right." She swallowed. "But we both know that's not important."
"If it's not important, why shouldn't it go on?"
"Because I find it distracting. It's time I walked away."
"And what if I won't let you?"
"I've learned enough about you to know you will not force me. Brutality offends you."
"Who knows?" He smiled without mirth. "I might learn to like it."
She shook her head. "Not you. Even when you were most angry with me, you did me no harm."
"So you're going to give up your plan of turning me from my chosen path?"
"Of course not. But that doesn't mean I have to remain in your bed. It's clear I cannot sway you in that manner. You told me so yourself." She paused and then said in a rush, "But I'm not sure I entirely believe you. I think you'll find it much harder to kill my father now."
"Don't count on it."
She had to count on it. She had to believe she had accomplished something and those last weeks of madness were not pure self-indulgence. "And though I'm your hostage, I doubt if you'll throw me into a dungeon once we reach Morland. As long as I'm free, I have a chance to save my father."
"And use me to do it?"
"I've never lied to you about my intentions."
His lips twisted. "No, you haven't. Use me and walk away. Isn't that the way of it?"
"Yes." She wished he would leave. Every minute he stayed, the pain grew more and more. "That's the way of it."
"But you're not walking, you're running like a scared rabbit."
"If you choose to think so."
"I know so." His gaze blazed down at her. "And I'm not going to let you do it. You'll be back in my bed within a week."
She shook her head.
"You will." His voice deepened with intensity. "You will."
His determination was beginning to shake the little composure she still retained. "How are you going to make me? I suppose you could threaten to take Lani to your bed again."
"Dammit, you know I don't want Lani. This is between the two of us. You'll come to me because that's what you want to do, what you have to do. You need what we have together." He smiled grimly. "And I'll be waiting for you. My chamber at Morland is much larger than the cabin, but you won't notice the difference. It will be the same for us."
The same heat, the same urgency, the same wild mating. She shivered at the memory. No, she could never go to him again. It was too dangerous. "Let me go."
After a moment, his hands suddenly loosened and dropped to his sides. "Not for long. I told you once I'd never let you walk away from me."
She stepped back and drew a shaky breath. This painful scene was almost over. He had not given up, but he had accepted rejection for the present. "Watch me.
She strode down the deck toward her cabin, her spine straight, her head held high. She could feel his gaze on her and was tempted to glance over her shoulder. She knew what she would see: anger, frustration, and that unshakable confidence and determination. The confrontation had been difficult enough; she didn't want to carry that vision away to haunt her.
She had done it. The bond was broken. She had banished any possibility of betrayal.
She had only to keep to her resolve, and everything would be fine.
"I must say I much prefer this method of deboarding, Jared," Bradford said as he watched Cassie carefully lead Kapu down the gangplank to the dock. "My nerves would have been horrendously strained if she had to swim ashore."