The urge to go to him and offer support, even if he didn’t accept it, made my legs itchy to move.
“So you did suffer last night,” I whispered. “Are you okay?”
He utterly ignored me. “Why didn’t you drink the vial?”
The desperation to ask for another dose of his strange painkilling blood stung my tongue. Just being around him made my system misfire and all that intensity scraped at my bones, promising another rough night of emotional whiplash.
But I couldn’t just come out and say I needed another dose.
It would make me like them.
He’d hate me even more than he already did.
“I...” I smiled the best I could. “I—”
“Had it stolen from you, didn’t you?” He smirked and brushed past me, heading toward the palace.
“How did you—?”
“Wait.” He spun around so fast, his coat flared around his legs. “They actually stole it?”
I blushed and ducked my chin. How did he do that? How did he ferret out the truth when I had absolutely no intention of admitting it? “It’s fine. I hadn’t really had any intention of drinking—”
“Why?” he snapped, cutting me off with a snarl. “How are you the only person in this world who looks as if I’m trying to poison you, when everyone else would happily bleed me dry? Would you rather hurt that much than take something that I gave you?”
Moving toward him, overwhelming gratitude filled me as Whisper came to join us, slinking lazily through the door and weaving first around Lucien and then around me, almost as if encouraging us not to fight.
“Believe me,” I said quietly, my heart skipping a beat as I lost myself in Lucien’s fathomless stare. “I learned my lesson last night.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, I would’ve happily drunk every droplet, despite my aversion.” I shrugged. “Last night was...rough.”
“So that’s why you’re here?” He sniffed. “You had the first bottle stolen and now expect me to give you another?”
“No!” I blurted, a knee-jerk reaction before I slouched with a wince. “I mean...maybe?”
He laughed icily. “I wondered when you would finally stop lying to me.” He pointed a finger in my face. “So you are just like them. You’re just after my blood and—”
“No!” I cut in, my own temper clashing with his. “I still find it abhorrent what they do to you and if I had any other option, there is no way I would ask you to help me—especially like that. But...next time...if I get that bad, perhaps I could come to you, and you could—”
“Let you drink straight from my vein?”
“What?” My cheeks burned in horror. “No, I—”
“Get to work,” he cut me off yet again, stepping through the door into the huge living room. “The more chores you do, the more salary I’ll owe you. Isn’t that how our little arrangement works?”
Following him, my mind raced on how to respond.
How had this happened?
I’d come here needing to be kind to him.
I’d arrived with my heart full of guilt for what Laura did to Whisper and gratitude that he’d tried to prevent me from suffering.
Yet...how was I supposed to break this animosity between us?
How could I bridge the gap from boss and employee, captive and villain when he only saw me as one of them?
We both didn’t want to be here. We were both lonely. Both suffering. Instead of keeping our guard up around one another, wouldn’t it make sense to be on each other’s side?
Before I could stop myself, I dashed in front of him and spread my arms.
He wasn’t expecting a roadblock and slammed into me.
Our bodies collided and instantly ignited. I gasped as his force shoved me back, making me trip—
His arm snapped tight around my waist, jerking me against him, stopping me from falling by making me fall into him instead. My hands landed on his chest; our eyes locked.
He was so tall, he made me feel fragile and tiny, even as his arm snared tighter, pinning me against his lean, powerful body.
I couldn’t move. Didn’t want to move.
His gaze fell to my mouth and a heavy exhale escaped him as if touching me affected him in the same way. The shadows in his stare faded. His churning hatred and hollow misery broke apart like clouds the longer we—
“What are you doing?” Shoving me back, he stepped away, his hands curling into fists.
“I’m...” I literally had no idea what I was doing. “I’m...” My heart thundered, and if I didn’t do something to break the spell, I might very well try to touch him again. Kiss him again. Throw myself into the chaos that always swirled around us the moment we were in the same room together.
Glancing around his home—seeking a distraction from the crackling chemistry, I locked onto the only thing that made sense.
I’d mopped, dusted, polished, and tidied every inch of this place. Instead of trying to convince him I could be trusted as a friend, I latched onto a ridiculous notion of proving my reliability by directing his attention to the only thing I’d done for him. Even if it had been done under duress.
Pointing at the closest side table—a gorgeous piece carved like a miniature weeping willow—the branches and leaves an absolute nightmare to dust—I said, “Do you see how clean that table is?” Rushing toward the library shelves, I waved left and right. “Do you see how each book is dust-free? How the shelves sparkle?”
He crossed his arms. “Your point?”
“My point?” I swallowed hard as Whisper yawned and padded past. “My point is...I’ve done what you asked. I’ve obeyed you—”
“And in return, you want more of my blood. I get it.”
My heart sank.
“Don’t worry.” His lips tipped into a mocking smile. “I’m used to it. You don’t have to pretend you care for me just because you’ve finally figured out how I can benefit you.”
“That’s not what this is,” I whispered. “That’s not—”
“I’ll still pay you what you’re owed.” His chuckle was laced with frost, even as something broke inside him. “As long as you do what I say, I’ll keep you alive and compensate you accordingly.”
My cheeks turned red, blaring my shame before I could lie.
Revealing the truth that somewhere along the line, I had learned how he could benefit me and it wasn’t what he thought. I hadn’t expected it. Didn’t really want it. And definitely didn’t know how to survive it. But desire kept creeping through me the longer we were together and if he didn’t somehow ease the aching, throbbing—
“Forget it,” I whispered, my eyes burning with tears. “Is that everything? Do you have any requests on what you want me to clean today?”
An unreadable mask slipped back over his face.
Any fleck of connection we’d cultivated in the past month snuffed out.
“Do whatever you want.” He sighed as if he was as exhausted as I was. “Just...stay where I can see you.”
A dagger lanced my chest as he marched toward the window seat. To hide in a book. To pretend I didn’t exist, all while somehow using my presence to ease some of his pain.
I trembled.
If I let him shut down, everything would be ruined.
If I stood any chance of making him accept me, I had to push, to fight, to prove that I wasn’t like them. That he could trust me. Like me...
Running after him, I—
“Oh, and another thing.” He spun around, his face black with anger. “Was it you who, ooof—”