“Okay. Riley?”
“Yeah?”
“Don't ever let me do that again.”
Have fun, no strings.
Ceramics.
I should skip ceramics, but I don’t.
I drop my bag down on the table I share with Bryce and Jake. Neither of them is here yet. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll both be sick.
But I’m not lucky today.
Bryce strolls into the room with Jake right behind him.
Shit.
What am I supposed to say? Do I apologize for puking on him? Or should I pretend I was so drunk that I don’t remember. I mean, really, I don’t actually remember that part. I could try to giggle and flirt with them. Go with the I-was-so-drunk routine that always seemed to excuse all the things Vanessa had done the night before.
Or maybe I’ll go with how I feel. The poor-pathetic-feel-sorry-for-me-because-my-boyfriend-dumped-me-so-I-got-drunk route. And the best part of that route is I won’t even have to act. It’s just the truth.
Bryce pats me on the back. “How we feeling, there, slugger? Remember kissing me last night?”
I keep my head down and groan slightly. That way I don’t have to look at them directly.
Jake bumps my side with his hip.
I look up at him then cover my face with my hand.
He says, “So . . . last night was, um, interesting.”
“I’m told I may have puked on you. I’m very sorry and extremely embarrassed.”
He pulls my hand off my face and smiles at me. “That’s kinda my fault. You told me you didn’t feel good. But I was pretty drunk and having too much fun.”
“Hopefully that means you don’t remember some of the things I may have said.”
His blushes a little. “Oh, that I do remember. Revenge sex. Revenge sex. Let’s have revenge sex. You’re lucky I’m a nice guy.”
“I didn’t want you to be a nice guy last night. Why were you?”
“Umm, well, me and Dawes are friends. And it’s cool we stayed friends even though I was dating Whitney. Kissing you was one thing, but sex would’ve been another.”
“The whole bros before hoes thing, huh?”
“Well, you’re my friend too. And you were drunk. You never get drunk. You always have fun and party, but you always seem like you know when to stop—before it gets ugly.”
“I like to get tipsy, but I don’t like that out of control drunk feeling, and I hate being hung over.”
“You a little hung over today?” He laughs at me.
“What do you think?”
“So last night was just about getting back at Dawson?”
“No. I mean, maybe, kinda. Plus, I decided I just want to have fun. No strings. Strings do nothing but get you hurt.” I sigh. A really big sigh.
Jake leans his arm on the table next to me and puts his fist under his chin. “You don’t really seem like that type of girl.”
“I never have been, but it makes sense.”
“You’re a good kisser.”
“From what I remember, you are too. I heard when things didn’t work out with Whitney and Dawson that she said she wanted you back.”
“She did. And she was pissed I was kissing you. But what she did to both of us pretty much sucked. So, I don’t really care.”
“Do you want her back?”
“Not at all. Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yeah.”
“This weekend, Maggie and I talked in the library for a really long time. You know, about you and Dawson. About Whitney. She is really nice. And really pretty. And making out with you was a whole lot of fun. I’m thinking I just want to be single.”
Bryce asks, “So you gonna get back together with Dawson? He’s miserable.”
“I don’t know. Right now it just hurts. He promised me that he didn’t care about her anymore. So, no matter what he says now I’m not going to believe him.”
“I’m glad you showed me the texts.”
Bryce interrupts. “Plus, we got the video, so, ya know, some good came out of it.”
“Everyone saw the video, didn’t they? The video of me acting like a slut.” I put my face back down in my hands and mutter, “I hate boys.”
“Better not hate me,” Jake says.
“Better never date me then.”
I was happy with you.
Lunch.
I sit down at a table all by myself. I don’t want company today. I want to wallow in aloneness.
This is the kind of day when you wish you could stay home from school and pretend to be sick. I suppose I could’ve pretended to be sick. Maybe I still can.
Dawson sits down next to me. “We need to talk, Keatie. Seriously.”
I take a bite of the calorie-laden fried chicken strips that I got for lunch today. They taste disgusting. “I’m really not in the mood to talk right now.”
“When, then? After school? Please, Keatie?”
“Dawson, you don’t even get it, do you? Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? I was going to take you home to meet my parents. You swore that you loved me and that you were over her. I have never felt so embarrassed of my decisions in my life.”
“Jeez, I know, okay. How would you feel if your surfer dude did that to you? He was your first love. What would you have done if he had said he wanted you back?”
“He did. Remember? You were with me. I told him I was happy with my boyfriend. That I was happy with you.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” He runs his hands back through his gorgeous dark hair. I try not to notice how his muscles flex or how sexy a gesture I’ve always thought it was. “Look, I’m so, so, incredibly sorry. I got caught up in it. It was like I wanted it for so long, and then when she finally wanted me, I just, I thought I needed to see. But what I realized is you are what makes me the me I am now. I’m so much happier with you than I ever was with her.”
I get tears in my eyes. “Yeah, but not happy enough to tell her no. Not happy enough to go with me. What you did sucked. It hurt. And I’m not over it. Sorry. You chose the path. I’m just trying to deal with it. And I really would like to sit alone.” I change my mind and stand up quickly. “Never mind. You stay. I’m leaving.”
He grabs my arm. “You kissed Dallas and Bryce last night. You made out with Jake. You gave him a lap dance in front of me. Told him you wanted to have revenge sex.”
“Yeah, I did. It was fun. Single girls can do that. And I know you kissed Whitney this weekend.”
“No. She kissed me. Only once. She said we had to see if it felt the same, but it didn’t. I’m not the same guy I used to be. I don’t fit with her anymore. I fit with you. I love you, Keatie. Please, give me another chance.”
“I can’t do this right now, Dawson. Seriously, I can’t. I feel like shit. And I don’t want to start crying in the middle of the café. Please, I’m embarrassed enough by all of this as it is.”
“You were drunk last night.”
“No shit.”
“Tonight. We’re going to talk.”
“I don’t know what else there is to say.”
“I’ll think of something,” he says, as I walk away.
Seal off.
French
I leave the cafeteria and go into the bathroom and cry. Then I clean up my mascara and go to French class early.
Aiden walks in early too.
“Hey,” he says, giving me a god-like smile and taking his usual seat behind me.
I don’t reply. I just give him a S’up head nod and then lay my pounding head down on my desk.
Apparently, his godly smile has no effect on a hangover.
I feel a tap on my back. I roll my eyes and turn around. “What?” I say exasperatedly. I don’t want to talk to him, or anyone else, for that matter.
He smiles at me and says, “Are you mad at me?”
“Are you happy that Dawson and I broke up?”
“Well, yeah, but I have my own reasons for that.”
“That sucks, Aiden. Because I’m hurt and if you had even a remote desire to be my friend, you wouldn’t want to see me hurt.”
He winces. Like what I just said hurt him.
God, I’m being a bitch. I’m taking my frustration out on him instead of Dawson.
I’m getting ready to tell him that I’m sorry when he reaches out and hands me a little star.
I take it in my hand and look at it. It’s one of the glow in the dark ones from his ceiling.